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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go alone? Looser?

93 replies

Louise3445 · 23/01/2018 13:07

Basically strictly come dancing is at my local arena tonight.
I really want to go (and tickets left )
Nobody wants to go,not even if I buy the tickets.
I’m a 32 year old woman and here I am scared to go in case people think I’m a looser...would you just go?
Or skip?

OP posts:

hellokittymania · 23/01/2018 18:56

Go and enjoy yourself!

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 23/01/2018 18:59

You are no loser! A loser wouldn't go out and do exactly what they bloody well wanted, regardless of what everyone else is doing, would they?

dotdotdotmustdash · 23/01/2018 19:05

I love watching live elite gymnastics but I don't have anyone to go with me as none of the family are interested. I'm a geek and love the details and technical side of the sport.

A couple of times a year I take a packed lunch, drive an hour or two and sit alone in a sport venue while everyone around me is in groups cheering on the competitors. Nobody knows who I am and they really don't seem to care.

For all anyone knows you might be meeting someone later, or come alone as your friend cancelled. You might even be a theatre critic or a talent-spotter! It really doesn't matter as long as you get the experience of being there.

DivisionBelle · 23/01/2018 19:29

No one notices or cares whether someone goes on their own or not.

I go to films and theatre on my own all the time. And twice on a week’s holiday.

It’s great!

morningtoncrescent62 · 23/01/2018 19:49

You are no loser! A loser wouldn't go out and do exactly what they bloody well wanted, regardless of what everyone else is doing, would they?

Fantastic way of putting it/thinking about it.

tinkertailorsoildersailor · 23/01/2018 19:50

Why the hell not? I often enjoy my own company at outside events. You can focus on enjoyment and not worry about what others are doing, thinking, feeling!

Natalies85 · 23/01/2018 19:54

Definitely go, as others have said I think if people noticed and thought anything of it at all it would be that you're an independent, confident woman. And more importantly, who cares?!?

MonumentalAlabaster · 23/01/2018 20:52

GO! I love a day out by myself! Who cares what anyone else thinks?

CheeseGirl4 · 23/01/2018 21:35

I hope you went? I was a bit like you, but I read an article in a magazine several years back that doing things alone is the secret to contentment and happiness. I started small with the odd coffee, progressed to cinema, then dinner, theatre, opera, and now I've travelled in 5 contents alone. I bloody love it. I love doing things with friends too, but this is SO liberating.

MLMsuperfan · 24/01/2018 00:59

Take some you time. Put your pleasure first. Put it FAR over what anyone else thinks (although I agree with others - nobody else will notice, let alone think bad of you).

DreamyMcDreamy · 24/01/2018 01:17

Did you book tickets for tonight or tomorrow? Scrolled through the whole thread and saw you'd booked them but not when - good for you!
I know a few people who won't go out alone by themselves to places like cinemas or shows (two female relatives) and I just think whyyyy?
I'm the complete opposite. If you only went to the things others wanted to see or do, you'd miss out on so much!
Honestly, been to loads of shows with people and also by myself and honestly nobody cares or even notices - they're too wrapped up in their own world, enjoying the show!
Even if you did get a twat that judged, who cares? You get all the popcorn to yourself, nobody wittering in your earhole all night and putting you off - what's not to like?
enjoy!

TangledUp7 · 24/01/2018 02:07

I went to see Strictly at the O2 last year on my own (I'm also 30-ish and female if relevant). You'll be fine, I promise. I'm quite a shy/anxious person so often feel uncomfortable in those kind of situations alone, but Strictly was really easy and fun. It helps that it's in a massive arena (so nobody's looking at you). Plus you'll spend most of the time sitting in the dark anyway.

Going alone also means you get the best possible view. I was front row in block 101 for Strictly (despite booking very late on), whereas I'd probably have been miles back if I'd needed two seats together. I'm not going this year as I didn't watch the last Strictly, but I've happily been to see a couple more shows at the O2 on my own since then.

IShouldntPostBut · 24/01/2018 02:27

Go! I went to a regional ballroom dancing competition some time back. It started a lovely 6 years for me. And, at the end, I was pretty good!

MistressDeeCee · 24/01/2018 06:09

I'd go, without a thought. I've been to theatre and cinema on my own. Once went to a concert alone. Daunting at first but once you've done it, you won't care. Enjoy

Basecamp21 · 24/01/2018 07:05

I used to feel the same way but in all honesty - I am such a loser nobody is even going to notice me never mind pay enough attention to notice if I'm alone or what I'm wearing or spare 1 second of their life to think about me at all.

I really am that insignificant - its the most liberating thing in the world.

frenchfancy · 24/01/2018 08:49

I hope you went and had fun OP.

morningtoncrescent62 · 24/01/2018 10:26

Came on to see if there was an update. Did you go, OP? How was it?

smoothieooo · 24/01/2018 12:30

Did you go? I hope it was fun and that you didn't worry at all about being there solo.

Last year I won tickets to a ballet performance at Sadler's Wells and the friend I'd invited couldn't come at the last minute. I couldn't get a replacement +1 but in the end said 'fuck it' and went by myself and had an absolutely wonderful time.

I'm currently contemplating a solo day trip to either Paris or Brussels because I've got a Eurostar birthday voucher I need to use up before the end of March!

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