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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to get a poop knife?

63 replies

123bananas · 22/01/2018 22:24

I know that loo brushes are spawn of satan's crutches on here, but how do you lot feel about poop knives?

AIBU to want one?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 23/01/2018 06:10

Happy to report no shelf in my American loo.

It has just struck me that the sort of operation that requires a poop knife or poop stick is the reason for the horror of loo brushes here on MN. If there are people out there who would use a loo brush for that, please, for the love of puppies, gather a bunch of sticks next time you are out walking.

BinkyandBunty · 23/01/2018 06:47

I've never made, nor have I ever lived with anyone who made, a turd too big to flush.

This thread has been quite educational.

BSintolerant · 23/01/2018 06:54

That article about the woman trapped in a window after retrieving a turd on a date made me howl! Grin

I fear I misread "nightcap" as nightcrap ... oh dear!

This thread is hilarious, thank you! There's nothing like a lavatorial thread when you're down in the dumps, as it were ... Wink

Readermumof3 · 23/01/2018 07:00

Never had the need of a poop knife, but I also hate the loos in Germany/Austria with their poop shelf shudder

JustAnIdiot · 23/01/2018 07:15

On the handful of occasions I have done a poo too large to flush - length is the problem rather than width - I have donned rubber gloves & strangled the fucker into manageable chunks.

Last time it must have been nearly two feet long Shock & went right down under the water, did a hairpin bend & came back at me. Horrifying Grin

MiddleClassProblem · 23/01/2018 08:12

JustAnIdiot you might need poop shears rather than a knife

Frankiewears · 23/01/2018 08:58

My DH OFTEN gifts the throne with a Loch Ness.

I am so getting him a poo knife 😁👍🏻

TheNoodlesIncident · 23/01/2018 09:46

I've used a plastic coathanger for this purpose.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

(I feel strangely compelled to point out I didn't produce the monster. Like it makes any difference...)

WashBasketsAreUs · 23/01/2018 13:14

Nannamania laughed so much at that one! Thanks.

Peregrane · 23/01/2018 13:28

For those wondering about the German toilet shelves, I give you Žižek:

“In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...]

It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...]

The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology.”

BackBoiler · 23/01/2018 14:23

Dh has a colleague whose mum always had one. Pre kids it was no 1 discussion in the pub!

BluePony · 24/01/2018 10:26

What's wrong with toilet brushes?

mathanxiety · 24/01/2018 19:02

They are not for breaking up logjams.

They are just for cleaning off specks and skid marks and general discoloration.

As I remarked upthread, maybe that suggestion is why some MNers hate loo brushes with such a passion and believe they are so filthy...

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