To think you still have to pay...

[ThisLittleKitty]

I've come across a lot of people who have the opinion that if you don't see your kids (for whatever reason) then you shouldn't have to pay for them. Aibu in thinking you should still have to pay? Or do you think that if someone "opts out" of seeing their kids then they shouldn't have to?

Are you a journalist? Because that's the ONLY reason I can think of for asking such a ridiculous question.

They’re totally wrong. Those children still need financial support

The government certainly has put in place a system that has the expectation of supporting your offspring.
It's not "pay per view"

Nope I've been here a while. This is exes view and other people I have come across. No contact= no payment.

Of course they still have to pay although I don't understand how some people expect that the rent or mortgage should be paid for by the absent parent (particularly when kids hit school age and the resident parent can work) as the parent would still have to pay for their own housing if there were no children. Yes to an amount for all other bills though.

(By the government i don't mean to accidentally support any of the political numpties) just to point out that these 'characters' with the view that not seeing a child makes it magically not need supporting are going against what is legally expected as well as being feckless arseholes.

This is DH exW view.

That maintenance is linked to contact (he pays anyway).

I think it’s a really fucked up view.

I cannot begin to understand why any parent would 'opt out' of seeing their child.

That alone upsets me.

My ex has chosen not to and despite trying for almost 7 years he pays no maintenance.

If you speak to CSA there is no 'opting out' why would be choose not to see his child?

He*

Anyone who thinks opting out of seeing their child is ok is a colossal waste of space

As is anyone who thinks not paying for their child is ok.

Don’t want a child? Use a condom. Really really really don’t want a child and not willing to take the tiny risk of a contraceptive failure? Don’t have PinV sex. At all.

Self employed people can opt out quite easily.

CSA can't help if the person doesn't work or claim benefits.

Oh students don't have to pay Csa either. So quite easy to opt out

If one parent refuses to allow contact, for no good reason though, maintenance should also be refused imo.

I think the exact opposite.
Yes, if you are one half responsible for bringing a child in to this world, then you are one half responsible for the costs of their upbringing.
I think there should be far more laws in place for absent parents who don't pay.

The exact opposite To the ops friends as in the op that is.

Your absolutely right, everyone knows that children you don't see don't need to eat and can live in a cardboard box.

I know lots of people who express this view, they are normally unpleasant and thick

I allocate £24 a day to spend on each child. For every hour they are away from me I deduct a £1 that I will spend on them. So sure I tell them,you can go and play with your friends, but it means there wont be enough money to buy those hair ribbons.

I know a far few female friends whose exes are self employed so don’t pay anything but have bought their kids clothes and have taken them on holiday so consider that their contribution,, refuse to pay anything because their kids live with them 50% so don’t see why they should and a couple of male friends whose exes are difficult, obsessive and greedy.

One male friend was paying above the amount he should have been paying ( mutual decision by both parents) his ex wasn’t happy and went through the then CSA and his money was then reduced and she refused to let him see his DD.

Thankfully my ex has always paid maintenance.