Is it unreasonable to ask someone if 'it' was planned

[sirlee66]

DH and I were at a spa day (Groupon given by work colleagues at my last day before I started a new job)

Had to tell the spa I was pregnant as the massage on the Groupon wasn't suitable to pregnancy.

They lady who was showing us round the spa goes 'Ohhh was it planned?'

I was a bit shocked really. Why would someone feel the need to ask that?

Am I being unreasonable?

A little background: DH and I (both in our late 20's) had been trying to conceive our first baby for 2 years (finally fell wooo!) So I don't know if that's made me overthink it? Just seemed like a really inappropriate question to ask. So what if it was an unplanned pregnancy!? What's it to her? AIBU or oversensitive? Is that just something that people normally ask you when you tell them you're pregnant? No one we know asked us if it was planned because they all knew we had been trying for so long.

No idea why people ask this!!! It's so bloody rude!

Incredibly rude and up there with asking if the kids have the same dad

It is a bit odd. I think it was just a bit stupid and maybe meant was it planned or a nice surprise sort of way. Still rude for a stranger to ask though.

Ahh I think it's a bit of a foot in mouth situation. It's the kind of thing you might ask a close friend and perhaps she just got excited and blurted something out.

Congratulations.

Rude.

My daughter is expecting her second child. I have been asked, when telling my friends/colleagues, if it was planned How the hell do I know?

I was asked this so many times when I was pregnant, the weirdest part being I was only 18 at the time so you'd think they'd have guessed wouldn't you?

Ugh I was asked this a lot with my first pregnancy. At the time I was late twenties, married, employed, a homeowner...
but it was literally the first thing out of two of my best friends mouths (separately) when I told them
Found it a bit upsetting actually!

Very rude. The only thing I really ask is
Have you got any names.

I was really surprised at how often I was asked this when I was pregnant! Not by close friends, but by people at work I wasn't particularly close to. For some, it was the first question they asked!
I wasn't that offended, but I can imagine that some people might be and it just seems like such a weird choice of small talk.....
It made me feel a bit better about my own social skills in a way because I would never dream of asking a random aquaintance that!

Do you look younger than you are ? Perhaps you look like a teenager and really young and it popped out as she was thinking out loud.

YANBU it was rude.

Yes, rude.

Should've told her your bloke slipped on a banana skin and his penis fell into your vagina.

Clumsy twit.

Very rude.
A patient once asked me if my son was planned- I was 6 months pregnant with an IVF baby at the age of 34, having been married for 6 years

I was buying a pregnancy test in Tesco years ago and the cashier asked me if it was planned! . Cheeky mare, what a question.

Definitely rude and nosy!

DSIL is pregnant at the moment and I know from DP & his parents that it wasn't planned but I'd never dream of mentioning it to her unless she raised the topic and it was something she wanted to talk about. It's none of my business!

Rude to ask but I'm surprised you are bothered about it.
Who cares what some random at a SPA said to you, she probably just didn't think before she engaged her brain and has to try and make conversation with people all day.

I reckon she probably just didn't think before she spoke.

Clutching at straws, maybe she didn't realise the spa was a gift and wondered why you'd bought Groupon vouchers for a spa when you were planning a pregnancy, and therefore might not be able to get your money's worth.

Yes rude. I was never asked that. Why the hell would you?

So many people asked me this when I was pregnant, I’m late twenties, good job, engaged after living together several years so it wasn’t like it was shocking I was pregnant. I found it really rude especially from colleagues and random people; wish I’d had the guts to be rude back.

Its rude, but I'm sure she probably didn't mean to offend. Perhaps she was really struggling for appropriate baby banter and just didn't think through what she was asking.

The best reply to that question is, "no I was getting in the shower, slipped on the soap and fell on his knob"

😂😂😂😂😂

I want a baby now, just so I can say this to whatever twerp inevitably asks that extremely rude question

Ah see I took her to mean was the spa day already planned since you cannot participate as fully when you’re pregnant!

Wouldn't bother me at all

Totally inappropriate but it won't be the last time you're asked I suspect! Pregnancy makes people go bonkers, I swear. I had a girl at my work ask if the baby was my husband's!

When pregnant with dc2 I was asked by a student at work that I'd never met before in my life if it was planned. Then when she realised dc1 was 6 she said "oh, different dads then?"! No, actually, not that it would be any of your business you CF! (I didn't say that but I think the look I gave her conveyed it rather well.

I got asked that a few times. You could have an amusing reply ready