To say you don’t leave a 7yr old home alone?

[PsychoPumpkin]

So as not to drip feed, here’s the brief history between my DD1s Dad & I.

I had DD when I was 18 & he was 20, he left us when she was 6 months old.
She is 7 now and he has had her EOW since the split.
He has a long term GF, i’m Married & have had two more children.
We all get along & communicate well.

The issue is that I have picked our DD up from his house this evening & she has told me that he left her home alone while he picked his GF up from work. She couldn’t give me a length of time more specific than ‘about a quarter to a half of a Harry Potter film’.

She said she was fine and ‘entertained herself’ But was left with no way to contact him if she was in any trouble. She’s a sensible girl but I wouldn’t leave her home alone, she’s accident prone.

I haven’t asked her dad about it yet because I know that no harm came to her, but I’m annoyed because I know that it could have done. I feel it was seriously poor judgement.

How do I handle this?

Exactly husky. Dd is very sensible but her judgement is still that of and 8 yo

Ok, well that's worth discussing. Just assumed there was a house phone.

I think I'd just gently say that she's mentioned it to you, and you appreciate that she's only 7 so may have no concept of time - but that you've not left her in the house alone yet and are a little concerned that he has done so. And that'd you would be very worried if it happened again. Don't go in all guns blazing if you have a good relationship with him.

I would be livid with him in your situation op. 7 is way too young to be left alone with no way of contacting anyone.

I’ve left my 7 yr old for up to an hour instead of dragging her in the car to pick ups.

Either bed, or sat watching tv.

Round here kids can walk home on their own from yr 3, so 7/8? In our last school kids ages 8+ were allowed to get home bu themselves, and that often included city buses.

I caught the bus to school without a parent from starting, so age 4? Us kids feom the estate all met at the bus stop and we all travelled together.

So no, i wouldn’t be going ballostic. Maybe have a discussion about if you are all ok with it. Including your dd. If she is comfortable with it.

n o phone no way to contact anyone nah hes out of order

You know your own child best so you know whether she's mature enough to be left alone or now. I wouldn't leave a seven year old on their own those circumstances.
Could he get a landline phone?

He is not fit to be a parent. A child her age does not deserve to be left alone, she is way too young to be left by her half arsed dad. Tell him he will not be getting any more time with her, if he wants to see her, he can spend 30 minutes ‘playing’ at daddy whilst you are there to protect and parent her..... your poor baby girl, my heart breaks tha parents can still be so fucking shit!

I've left my 7 year-old for the first time a couple of weeks ago, while I walked around the corner to drop off his little brother - 10-15 mins, he was happy with it, he had Skype, which he knows how to use (and tbh, he could have leant out the window and yelled and I'd have heard him).

I was worried that he would be scared on his own the whole way, and ran back though. Got back and he was totally fine with being alone for a bit.

I wouldn't leave a child alone if they weren't able to contact someone though.

Okay, i’ve Had a reply. Apparently it was 15 minutes, he wasn’t ‘far’ but he knows he shouldn’t have done it and won’t do it again.

The only thing I can do is let it drop and trust that he won’t leave her again until she’s a bit older and hopefully, next time with a phone she can use.

Sounds fair enough

"your poor baby girl, my heart breaks tha parents can still be so fucking shit!"

Save your pearl-clutching for children who don't have a loving parent. Anyone who would consider stopping contact with their child's other parent for something like this needs their head examined.

Not fit to be a parent pracilla??
Bit of an over reaction?
I reckon the father who murdered his 8yr old last night was not fit to be a father!

4 year old catching the bus without a parent? Really?!

My 7 year old DS would happily be left when I drop my DD of the dance etc but I would never do it. It really wouldn't feel right. What if he fell or slipped? I would never have left his older sisters at that age.

What could happen? Things like: a fire; getting electrocuted; opening the door to a bad stranger; falling and hitting her head; watching something distressing on the television or computer; the person who left them having an accident.

Kinddogstail; you can remove some of those risks though; don't leave anything plugged in, tell them to not answer the door, don't move from sofa (can't fall) and if I was in a car accident, I'd prefer my child to not be in the car!
But IMO 7 is too young. I started leaving mine at 9 and always leave a phone for her.

I would be very annoyed. 7 is far too young to be left alone IMO

I would be annoyed about lack of consultation but 7 is almost old enough for some children to be left for a short amount of time. DS1 is nearly 6 and not ready yet but in another year or two I can see he will. We leave responsibility way too late in the UK.

In my experience children can use the time alone to do forbidden things like make fires

What I don't understand is the incongruency on here. It's not ok to leave a 7 year old alone on the sofa, watching tv for 15 minutes. At home, a place where they know every inch of, what they are capable of and what not. But it is ok, should be compulsory, to send a 7 year alone into changing rooms at a swimming pool where they have to navigate lockers, slippery floors, toilets and showers and have direct access to a swimming pool all without you being able to supervise them.

And yes, ThisLittleKitty a four year old catching the bus alone to get to kindy is the norm here. Often its safer than walking as they then don't have to deal with road crossings.