Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for feeling stupid because I had a panic attack in the supermarket.

28 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 20/01/2018 23:04

Sorry in advance if this is a long one. So as not to drip feed I have really bad anxiety and I can't get out on my own. Today my boyfriend took me food shopping and he took me to a shop that I've never been to before I was completely out of my comfort zone the shop was packed and I had a panic attack my boyfriend managed to calm me down enough for me to just about complete my shopping without breaking down and abondonning it but I feel so stupid for having a panic attack over a shopping trip I feel like I will never be able to live a normal life and do things on my own.

OP posts:
Pearlsaringer · 20/01/2018 23:11

Didn’t want to read and run. Well done for completing the shopping even though you were having a panic attack. In your shoes I would feel proud of myself for that. Baby steps, things will get better. Your boyfriend sounds a good one. Flowers

seasidelife · 20/01/2018 23:17

Don't feel stupid and don't beat yourself up!! Anxiety is a really tough curse to break. Trust me, it's almost impossible to get it under control on your own but you've recognised that it's a big issue in your life, you just said it out loud to the world and that is a huge step that you should really praise yourself for. You did it, you finished the task you faced, survived and have reached out for support to move forward! That is pretty epic and very brave!! Well done you and we'll done to your bf for supporting you and getting you through!! If you haven't already done it, I strongly recommend that you tell your gp everything, don't hold back, they can help you to beat this!! Flowers

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 20/01/2018 23:18

Thank you pearlsaringer I feel more stupid than proud of myself because I just went to pieces. He is amazing and he's learning how to support me through everything. Thank you I just have to keep taking baby steps it just feels like a constant up hill battle that will never get any easier and I hate not being able to work because of it. Flowers

OP posts:
mumtomaxwell · 20/01/2018 23:20

You’re not silly! You got through your shopping trip... if you go to that shop again just remember you managed it before.
I suffer with anxiety too - and walked out of an unfamiliar shop this afternoon!! You did better than that x

augustusglupe · 20/01/2018 23:25

Just didn’t want to read and run.
Don’t feel stupid OP, supermarkets are horrendous for my anxiety. I’ve had it so long now that I tend to be able to just ignore it. But it’s always there.
I had a full blown panic attack on an aeroplane years ago. I felt stupid too, like I was attention seeking, but it literally came on from nowhere.
I realised over time though, that lack of sleep, lack of food and too much coffee can easily bring on an attack.
Do not feel silly, so many people suffer with anxiety/panic attacks.
I find that the saying ‘ Feel the fear and do it anyway’ has really worked for me. The anxiety will lessen over time if you start to face your fears.
Don’t worry too much, obviously do things at your own pace Smile

seasidelife · 20/01/2018 23:30

It definitely does get easier eventually, I promise!! But don't look too far ahead, work is very likely a long term goal, put it on the list and forget about it, focus on getting better first and be kind to yourself, don't add pressures that will contribute to the negative spiral.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 20/01/2018 23:31

Thank you seasidelife I guess I should be happy that I managed it I guess I just feel daft for letting a shopping trip reduce me to a shaking wreck on the verge of tears because I was that far out of my comfort zone and just wanted to run home but my boyfriend held me hand and just kept talking to me and helping me get through it he's a super star. I am under the GP for treatment but they don't know how badly it affects me what really gets me down is this time last year I was working and making a good living fast forward 12 months and now I can't get out the house on my own. How did my life fall apart so fast.

OP posts:
CheeseAndBeans · 20/01/2018 23:33

Well done you for getting through it and finishing your shopping! That’s a huge achievement.
It will get better. I used to be the same. Terrible anxiety and panic attacks. I went from home to work (walking through London 90 mins each way as couldn’t face public transport) and that was it. I couldn’t face social situations, shopping, even visiting family. 10 years on and I am so much better, I would say I live a “normal” life now. Anxiety creeps in occasionally but can handle it so much better now without full on panic.
Are you getting any help at all?
Not for everyone but meds and CBT really helped me.

FaithEverPresent · 20/01/2018 23:36

Oh lovely...well yes, YABU for being so unkind to yourself! FWIW I’ve had panic attacks in supermarkets before. They are big, noisy places and overwhelming if unfamiliar. Have you had CBT? Techniques in CBT could help with some of the feelings you’re having by building up slowly. I used to really struggle with this and I’m okay with supermarkets now after doing some exposure therapy.

Ceebs85 · 20/01/2018 23:37

Keep on pushing yourself well done. Its the best way to kick anxiety's ass.

Show it you're not scared.

The more you do it the more you'll learn theres nothing to fear.

Also supermarket on a saturday afternoon is not a baby step at all!

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 20/01/2018 23:38

mumtomaxwell I really wanted to leave the shop good luck for next time if I can just about do it so can you xx.

augustusglupe thank you it's a horrible feeling because it just comes out of nowhere and you feel so daft and you feel very alone at least I know I'm not alone. It's such a hard thing to deal with and feels a bit like people think your just doing it for attention but I'm not I want the life I had before anxiety back again.

Seasidelife thank you your right I need to forget about work for now because that is that far off that I feel like I'll never get back there but I will do eventually I just have to get myself better first.

Thank you everyone for being kind to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 20/01/2018 23:51

CheeseandBeans thank you I know it will get better just doesn't feel like it right now. That's exactly how I am I can just about do my shopping but I hate public transport, people, social situations and I can't visit people. I have been told about CBT and everyone says it will help and I am on tablets but they don't help.

FaithEverPresent thank you I know now that I shouldn't be so hard on myself I can do this it will just take a bit of work.

Ceebs85 thank you I will keep on trying to push myself it's only way to try and live my life. Haha I guess that isn't a baby step I forgot how packed shops can be on a Saturday afternoon I know not to do that again.

OP posts:
Littledrummergirl · 21/01/2018 00:00

I had something similar a few years ago when my mental health had taken a battering.
We were using self scan and in a weekly shop £150 I had missed a 30p bottle of bleach. When the assistant scanned the shop in a random check I felt as though i was trying to steal it(they were lovely it was all in my head) and kept it together until we left the store.
Dh put me in the car for privacy and sorted out the shop. I felt like a proper idiot.

That was nearly four years ago- it does get better, that was the last panic attack I've had although I still struggle with self scan and must come across as very rude when I use them as they send my anxiety rocketing. Flowers

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 21/01/2018 00:02

Please don't feel stupid. You were courageous and strong for getting through it. I have mild anxiety and had a panic attack in Asda, on a Tuesday afternoon at 4pm with three DCs in tow and they had to call my husband from work, 25 mins drive away and i had to abandon my shopping! He had to go back and pay later on...so with the way that you are describing you are feeling right now I have nothing but respect and awe for your strength.

5foot5 · 21/01/2018 00:06

You have been really brave today. Good for you.
Your boyfriend sounds wonderful.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 21/01/2018 00:13

Littledrummergirl I would've run from the shop if that had been me. I hate those self scan machines they are highly annoying. Flowers

FrenchLiuetenantsMonkey thank you for you kind words. I applaud you for trying to do your shopping with 3 kids in tow that tales some serious guts. Thank you it's horrible when it happens isn't it.

Thank you everyone for your very kind words I don't feel so alone anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 21/01/2018 00:15

5foot5 oh thank you I don't feel it I just felt really daft. Oh he is absoultley wonderful and he knows exactly how to handle me and keep me calm even though we've only been together for 5 months he's my rock.

OP posts:
mirime · 21/01/2018 00:16

I did mental health first aid training and apparently having a panic attack is a large shop is very common. Primark does it for me, just looking in through the doors sets off my anxiety.

crunchymint · 21/01/2018 01:10

You completed the shopping trip even though you were well outside your comfort zone. Well done.

MissionItsPossible · 21/01/2018 01:25

Do not feel stupid at all. You should feel proud of yourself that it was a new challenge and you managed to complete it even if you did have a panic attack. Was it the feeling of being in a new place or the people occupying the space that made you panic? Either way you should feel highly of yourself for managing to complete it, I feel that of you.

123namechanged · 21/01/2018 01:37

You shouldn't feel silly!

I had to leave my job at a supermarket because I started having panic attacks out of the blue!
Thankfully DH didn't mind and work tried to help as much as they could. But I felt I had to leave.

I now shop online and it's so much easier. I don't like going to busy shops, so I avoid them.

It's been 2 years now since the panic attacks started and it's a lot easier now, it just took time!

dahliaaa · 21/01/2018 01:40

Don't feel stupid Flowers
I have a stressful, very busy senior job but when I had panic attacks I couldn't get out of the car to do anything at all never mind the shopping. Anxiety is really really horrible. Give yourself a pat on the back for what you did achieve today.

Catatlarge · 21/01/2018 02:13

I panic if there’s too much choice. Or not what I want.
I burst into tears in Waitrose the other day and had to just dump my shopping and go outside to calm down. The reason? They’d run out of ham & cheese sandwiches, and I couldn’t decide what else to choose. It just all felt like too much. I just went back to work without lunch as I felt too stressed, quivery and couldn’t decide what I wanted.

Well done for getting through it!

FaithEverPresent · 21/01/2018 07:45

I think it’s fantastic that you stayed! Be proud of yourself for that. Even though I’ve had therapy and improved I still do most of my food shopping online now, reduces stress!

ZoopDragon · 21/01/2018 07:57

Nothing to feel embarrassed over. It happens to lots of people.

You won't be like this forever. Have you tried medication and NLP therapy? I had an anxiety disorder in my 20s and couldn't leave the house alone at the worst points. I used to get dizzy and feel sick in public places, sometimes felt like I couldn't remember how to walk and would have to sit down in the street! SSRIs, anxiety meds and therapy helped, it took a few years to be completely cured but I haven't had panic attacks for over a decade now.