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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids party - Who is being unreasonable?

41 replies

CosmicSpider · 20/01/2018 21:03

On my local FB group, a mum has poster her recommendation for a kids party. She tells of her experience of a local massive venue - Merlin Attractive - who don't normally offer kids parties but did her a package built around her 5 yo and 20 friends at £54 per head. The children abd their respective adult got entrance for the day, and siblings got a discounted rate.

She got a lot of positive responses but also a lot of negative responses from parents who said it encouraged peer pressure, or that it was a ridiculously expensive thing to do for a 5 yo kids party. The page admin turned the comments off before things got out of hand.

I personally would not spend that much on my DS's party, but do not begrudge those that do. But reading it made me think it would have made a great AIBU thread Grin

What do you think?

OP posts:
Tarraleah · 20/01/2018 21:07

As long as she can afford it, and doesn't go into ridiculous debts about it, why not? It depends on her finance, if she can also afford holidays etc, then it's up to her how she celebrates her kid's birthday. The others will be lucky to be invited.

if anyone feels under pressure to compete, they are the idiots. You have to be pretty stupid to feel it's a competition. Public or state schools, there will always be parents with loads of money, and parents struggling. You can't reasonably expect the richer parents to do nothing so the competition can keep up. Ridiculous attitude.

kazillionaire · 20/01/2018 21:08

I think she has more money than sense personally

RonaldMcDonald · 20/01/2018 21:08

I think it is up to her how she spends her money

youngnomore · 20/01/2018 21:10

It’s no one else’s business how a parent wants to celebrate their dc birthday. If they don’t like it. Don’t attend.

Rainbowqueeen · 20/01/2018 21:10

My feeling without reading the post is that the mum thought she was doing a helpful thing by posting about a great experience at a place that people might not realise will do a kids party
I'm assuming that people in your area would be able to afford this kind of party

Personally I would not spend that much on a kids party but then I couldn't afford to. But I would be unlikely to spend that much even if I could afford it as I would see it as unnecessary for a 5 year old. Bit each to their own

So I guess overall I would only have a problem with the post if it was out of whack for the financial circumstances of people in the group. I can understand the comments about peer pressure though.

Tistheseason17 · 20/01/2018 21:11

I'd accept the invite.
My party would not be so expensive but that's just how it goes.

SparkleFizz · 20/01/2018 21:12

£54 per head!!!! Shock Shock Shock

Original poster
CosmicSpider · 20/01/2018 21:15

On the page you get a lot of parents asking for recommendations for kids party venues, but it is mostly for those seeking village/church halls and local bargains, so it kind of went against what is usually posted. She does describes it as a one off but it really grated some.

I think I was surprised at how strongly opposed some were, especially on a non anonymous forum.

OP posts:
Tarraleah · 20/01/2018 21:17

forgot to add: as long as the parents don't expect the gift for their children to be in line with the cost of the party, no issues at all.

I have seen parties where the parents clearly spent £100 or more on the birthday cake, and others were they had a £10 one from our local supermarket. Each option was reasonable.

Snowysky20009 · 20/01/2018 21:18

I think it depends on your income. For one family that would be the cost of the entire party, for another it's the cost of party bags. It varies so much.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2018 21:22

Not something that I would do for 20 5 year olds, too expensive and the risk of loosing them in such a big place would frighten me, but each to their own and all that. I might take say my dc, and 2 friends to that, but 20 5 year old's, that's madness.,

Katedotness1963 · 20/01/2018 21:36

People need to concern themselves less with how others spend their money. My boys were lucky enough to go to all kinds of birthday parties, from playing in the garden and homemade cake to the one thrown by a classmates football player dad where their whole year were invited to a horse riding/archery/petting zoo/catered day. And they enjoyed every one.

PeapodBurgundy · 20/01/2018 21:42

We'll be spending about £100 all in on DS's 2nd birthday party. That covers the room hire, entertainer, food, cake, decorations and party bags. There will be about 20 children there (hence booking a room etc rather than just a tea party and a dance in the house; we don't have the room to host that many).
£54 per head compared to that seems extortionate, but they'll get a full day out for that money, as opposed to an hour and 45 mins.

If she's doing it because she'd rather spend that and her child enjoy the day than spend less on something they wouldn't enjoy as much, fair play. If she's doing it to try and show off then I think it's unreasonable.

nowimsomeonenew · 20/01/2018 21:45

I think some people have to have an opinion. They have to just be outraged at everything. Tbh if it doesn't affect you then keep walking (or scrolling) obviously as long as no one is being hurt etc

billybagpuss · 20/01/2018 21:46

I think its a bit OTT for a 5 year old even if money is no object. Many 5 year olds are overwhelmed by that sort of attraction and won't really get the full benefit.

GreenTulips · 20/01/2018 21:48

People need to concern themselves less with how others spend their money

Why? It set a president for other parents - and there no need to boast about one off package from a venue because she had lots of people going.
It's just flashy -

LadyBunnysWig · 20/01/2018 21:49

The only unreasonable people are the ones who have jumped on her for simply stating what she did and sharing her experience. If you think it's too expensive say "phwa that's too expensive for me". Done

Katedotness1963 · 20/01/2018 21:57

People need to concern themselves less with how others spend their money

Why? It set a president for other parents - and there no need to boast about one off package from a venue because she had lots of people going.
It's just flashy -

It does not set a precedent. Everyone is free to do as much or as little as they're happy with or can afford. Or do you really believe that no one should have/buy/experience nice things in case others can't afford the same? Rubbish!

Doubletrouble99 · 20/01/2018 22:06

I think it's ridiculous actually. My children went to a prep. school and many of the parents were extremely well off but no one would ever dream of going to such extravagance.
The really well off ones always had parties at their house with an entertainer or did a theme themselves. The only concession to their wealth would be that they happened to live in a castle and the house keeper had made some canapés for the parents!

silvousplaitmerci · 20/01/2018 22:09

Meh she sounds like she's bragging about being able to spend over £1000 on her child's party when in reality most of us think she's a knob

Dogsmom · 20/01/2018 22:15

The people who complained that she would create peer pressure are the ones who would feel the need to compete.

It baffles me why people dream of being wealthy and have a good disposable income yet get on their high horse when wealthy folk spend their cash on expensive things.

Notso · 20/01/2018 22:16

I think if it's not something the venue usually offer then her post is a bit pointless on a site for recommendations.

SockUnicorn · 20/01/2018 22:18

I spend around £20pp on the venue (bowling / trampolining etc) and then around £4 each on party bags. Roughly 13-17 kids per party. Also invitations made (not shop bought). Thats my rough budget, which I can easily afford. Im sure if I had a huge budget I would happily pay what the poster pays. I have no issue her having such large parties and dont think its anyones business what she pays. Just like there are children in my DDs classes who cannot afford parties at all. Mine should not be refused parties on the basis some cant afford any so why should her budget be in question because some (me included) cant afford that.

SockUnicorn · 20/01/2018 22:22

Also I would never ever post the value I spend on social media as thats asking for criticism! Also to note: I also get a lot of freebies and gifting done from the type of job I have so are very lucky and rarely spend the budgeted £4 per bag. Thats just the value.

Cantusethatname · 20/01/2018 22:30

Is that about £1000 for the day? And how can you be responsible for 20 5 year olds at a theme park? The parents would have to come.

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