Kids party - Who is being unreasonable?

[CosmicSpider]

On my local FB group, a mum has poster her recommendation for a kids party. She tells of her experience of a local massive venue - Merlin Attractive - who don't normally offer kids parties but did her a package built around her 5 yo and 20 friends at £54 per head. The children abd their respective adult got entrance for the day, and siblings got a discounted rate.

She got a lot of positive responses but also a lot of negative responses from parents who said it encouraged peer pressure, or that it was a ridiculously expensive thing to do for a 5 yo kids party. The page admin turned the comments off before things got out of hand.

I personally would not spend that much on my DS's party, but do not begrudge those that do. But reading it made me think it would have made a great AIBU thread

What do you think?

I would find it all a bit odd . Do you have to trail around with the other 19 parents for the day and wait when there is a ride you don’t want to go on ? I realise no one here knows the answer but not my idea of a great day

I agree, besides the cost, you would need parents to accompany their 5 year olds, you will need to pay for that, or stipulate that they pay for themselves if they come, be prepared for parents to refuse the invite as its just too expensive.

Adult entrance is included as stated by OP.

I hate the argument that those who can afford it shouldn’t spend money on their children because it is unfair on those who can’t. Whenever we have children over, some of them ooh and aah at how big our house is (it’s not a massive mansion or anything!) Should we move to a smaller house? Our girl has some expensive stuff, but we don’t lavish her with everything she wants. If there was a party venue she really wanted and we could afford it, we’d go for it. On the flip side, she can’t do simple things like skip or ride a bike with her friends. Should I insist other parents don’t buy their children bikes because she feels sad she can’t do that?

Children need to learn about the world and understanding some people do things differently to them for all sorts of reasons is a good life lesson.

Surprised some are saying it shouldn’t have been posted as a recommendation because they don’t usually do parties. Unless the woman knows the owner and it was a special favour, which doesn’t seem to be the case, they obviously do, they just don’t advertise it as a regular service. Surely some others who can afford it might see it as a good option to try and organise.

£54 a head for the first child, free entry for an accompanying adult, that brings the price per had down to £27 (although the final bill will be the same) and discount for subsequent siblings, which is a more realistic way of seeing it.

It's something I really couldn't get worked up over. Birthday kid has a nice day? Invitees have a nice day? All a bit of a non issue and certainly beats the usual recycled childrens entertainer and buffet fingered by little people who pick their noses and scratch their backsides.

People getting heated because someone said “you could do this expensive party” on an fb group is ridiculous. Who gives a fuck if she said take them to The Shard and hire out the restaurant privately? It’s a suggestion not a command. It has no bearing on their lives.

It’s like getting ranty because someone recommended using Kelly Hoppen to re decorate their room when others suggested a local painter decorator.

sounds a lovely day out. yes it will create peer pressure etc but kids will be exposed to that all their lives as kids and adults. Bit off posting about the costs of it on FB though.

If my child and I were invited to a party like that I'd say ooooh fun, we'd never be able to afford that, special treat for us. Then I'd accept their hospitality and say thank you, not bitch behind their back

All this peer pressure nonsense - don't you teach your kids that not everyone has the same and to be grateful for what they do have?

I dont think it is unreasonable of her to have the party, but I think it is very unreasonable to post what you have paid on social media.

I think it shows a lack of awareness to host a party that is well beyond the means of the child’s friends parents. There’s always going to be a difference in what parents can afford to do, and that’s normal & fine, but to host something that will make all the other kids feel their party is inferior, jist seems very thoughtless to me.

In their position I’d have had a more ‘big standard’ party & just taken DD & A friend to the theme park.

Not that it makes much of a difference, but it was not a theme park. Merlin own a few different places. The party took place in a specific part of the venue and they had access to the rest. I really apologise if this is considered as drip feeding.

Everyone has different budgets. Nothing wrong with that as long as there is no snobbery/inverse snobbery allowed.

Woman treats child's friends (and parents) to massive treat!! Hardly offensive! Quite nice. She shares info with others.

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There is no way I could financially compete with some parents, but I dont feel the need to. Peer pressure only gets to you if you let it.

They are absolutely entitled to do what they want with their money.

I think it shows a lack of awareness to host a party that is well beyond the means of the child’s friends parents.

you do realise that any party could be well beyond the means of some parents? If you don't want your kids to go because you feel overwhelmed , just decline.

As long as my kids have fun, I am happy for them. I throw a party based on my own budget and my kids preferences, I wouldn't second-guess myself because of the professionally offended who will find it too cheap, too expensive, or will moan because I don't do party bags.

I really doubt the peer pressure argument is a valid one. At primary school pupils seems to be fairly divided by their parents' means.

If you don't succumb to peer pressure it makes no difference. As an adult you get to choose to keep up with others or not. Just leave them to it if it bothers you.

DH grew up in a pretty well-off family and one of his birthday parties involved taking several friends to the USA for a helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon, so this is peanuts compared to that madness (and that was in the 80's, when everything probably cost far more comparatively).