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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accept I’m being judgey but I can’t help it!!

92 replies

BifsWif · 20/01/2018 19:53

A friend has just posted a picture of her spoon feeding her baby what looks to be rusk mixed with milk or baby porridge. The baby is 4 and a half weeks old.

All the comments are supportive and ‘you know your baby best’ and I’m just like Shock.

HE’S FOUR WEEKS OLD.

I was going to comment, but there’s no point is there? Better to come and rant to some randoms on the internet instead.

OP posts:
EggbertNobacon · 20/01/2018 20:20

Are you sure baby is 4 weeks? 4 weeks?! I can't bloody believe some people are so stupid.

Advice has never been 4 weeks. Ever. Even my grandma who was 83 said you couldn't put baby rice in baby's bottle until 8 weeks.

However "dangerous" is a bit OTT, I really don't think it's likely that baby is in immediate peril. Risky, yes, certainly.

It's worth a try sending her the NHS guidance - however it probably won't make a difference as it's been 6 months for years. Possibly let the HV know if you're able to contact them easily.

stuffstuffeverywhere · 20/01/2018 20:22

Why is that awful?

OP has already made it clear that this person is an idiot who won't listen to the OP. Might as well try to do something to genuinely help the baby and cut your losses regarding the friendship. That's assuming the OP gets found out.

I'd do it.

LadyBunnysWig · 20/01/2018 20:23

So basically baby is cluster feeding and she has decided that milk just isn't doing its job and for some reason rusks/porridge are better?
Poor bairn.

DreamyMcDreamy · 20/01/2018 20:23

Just seen there's some more saying - "yes, report her!"
FFS. Horrible. Why not have a word with her if you feel so strongly, offer some support?
I weaned at 4 months and 6 months for my two, as those were the guidelines.
People weaned a lot earlier as soon as a couple of decades ago, (admittedly because there wasn't as enough information and knowledge as there is now)but wouldn't have been running to report over other parents choice of food weaning.

stuffstuffeverywhere · 20/01/2018 20:25

This is four weeks, not four months.

The daft cow isn't going to listen, OP made that clear.

greendale17 · 20/01/2018 20:27

**Screenshot the post and sent it to HV.

You could probably stand to lose this idiot from your life anyway**

^This. Please contact the health visitor.

donquixotedelamancha · 20/01/2018 20:27

Are people really this stupid?

I would definitely contact the HV urgently. I would probably also go round for a visit and try to talk her round.

Is she quite well? Is it possible this is a symptom of needing support- a cry for help?

TookyClothespin · 20/01/2018 20:27

I'd have to say something, and if she didn't listen, I'd report to HV. Food that early can really damage the gut and set up for a lifetime of problems.
I wouldn't go straight to HV though, I'd try to gently talk to her first.

BigBaboonBum · 20/01/2018 20:29

She obviously doesn’t know her child at all. I’d contact health visitor or somebody ASAP because the damage she’s causing could be

BigBaboonBum · 20/01/2018 20:29

Bad*

DinoSn0re · 20/01/2018 20:29

The stupidity of some people is astounding. A friend of mine recently sent me a screenshot of someone’s FB post, announcing that they had given their 8 week old chocolate and ‘she loved it’ Hmm What on earth goes through these peoples minds when they do stuff like that?

stuffstuffeverywhere · 20/01/2018 20:30

Why are people more concerned about upsetting a wilfully stupid person, than the health of a new born baby????

Cherrycokewinning · 20/01/2018 20:31

She’s being goady and weird.

Is it realistic to speak to her HV? How would you know who it is? hV don’t really make referral visits to tell people off either

donquixotedelamancha · 20/01/2018 20:32

Just seen there's some more saying - "yes, report her!"
FFS. Horrible. Why not have a word with her if you feel so strongly, offer some support?

It's not horrible. It's basic decency to want to protect that child. What else is this mum going to do next? Why is she ignoring medical advice and common sense? This is pretty risky behaviour.

People weaned a lot earlier as soon as a couple of decades ago

Not this early. There is risk of substantial harm and no valid reason for it.

BertieBotts · 20/01/2018 20:33

She already knows the guidelines or she wouldn't have posted a defensive comment on the photo.

I really don't think you can go around "reporting" people to the HV - it's shit parenting but it's not unheard of. If her HV or doctor thinks it's a problem, they'll let her know.

AutumnalTed · 20/01/2018 20:33

My health visitor just told me off for giving my 4 month old baby rice, because he can’t properly digest it yet. He’s 14lb 12oz so not tiny either, and there’s lots more research to show that babies were getting poorly being weaned too early. Hence the new recommended 6 months, although I do still give him tiny tastes of mushed up veg etc Confused

Mrsmadevans · 20/01/2018 20:38

Well at least she will get a good night's sleep because it will remain in his tummy all night undigested by his immature digestive system and that is the main thing isn't it . Hmm

Original poster
BifsWif · 20/01/2018 20:39

I’m not concerned at all about upsetting her, the point is she is unlikely to listen.

Yes definitely four and a half weeks, it’s in her post. Baby born in December.

She has a 1 year old too, so not first baby. She has a partner and a lot of family support it seems, the family are the ones commenting on her post and ‘liking’ it.

OP posts:
CoolCarrie · 20/01/2018 20:39

I knew someone like this, feeding her daughter “extras” at 6 weeks, spoke to her mother about it, don’t know the outcome as we moved house. How about speaking to her mum? Sometimes people are just stupid and you can’t change that! Poor child, she is setting up a lot of problems ahead with this behaviour. I doubt the baby’s bowels can cope with that.

Original poster
BifsWif · 20/01/2018 20:40

I wouldn’t know who her health visitor is, but I know the number of the team - my two year old had her review in the same village recently.

I’m going to PM her.

OP posts:
stuffstuffeverywhere · 20/01/2018 20:42

Just report the idiot then.

Does she know where you live?

Original poster
BifsWif · 20/01/2018 20:42

I’ve just gone back on her page and the post has gone, maybe someone else beat me to it?

OP posts:
MistyMinge · 20/01/2018 20:47

Let alone the fact the baby's gut is immature, what about the risk of choking/gagging. Stupid cow. I really hope someone has pulled her up on it.

CosmicCanary · 20/01/2018 20:51

Lovely thread Hmm

So far I have seen lots of

Idiot
Insane
Stupid
Nutter
Shit mum
One post that basically states she is a danger to children
Daft cow

Love how women and mothers speak about other women and mothers on her.
Very supportive mumsnet.

I was advised by family to ween much sooner than recomended. I refused and said I would stick to guidlines.
Some people trust their family and their experience.

I am going to report the thread because the name calling of this new mum is frankly vile. Any new mum wanting feeding advice would probably run a mile after reading this thread.

QueenofmyPrinces · 20/01/2018 20:52

Some people are mad.

I once saw someone feeding their 10 week old a puréed roast chicken dinner.

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