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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend and daughter describing me as 'crazy'

40 replies

Polly345 · 20/01/2018 14:36

My friend's daughter thinks it's funny, clever etc to describe me as 'crazy'. I am friendly, chatty and I do like to make jokes and appear as a happy jolly sort of person.
This is fair enough - but recently I went out with my friend, one of her friends (new to me) and the daughter. The daughter thought it was hilarious to describe me to her mum's friend as 'the crazy one'. This happened again a while ago when we were with the the daughter's friend (also previously unmet).
The final straw came when my friend very proudly told me a story where she and her daughter were discussing me and how long we had been friends. Her daughter again had used 'crazy' as a description. I told my friend that, in my opinion, a child describing me as 'crazy' made me feel uncomfortable and I found it disrespectful.
Interested to know opinions.

OP posts:
Fishface77 · 20/01/2018 14:46

How old is she?

Bollooooooocks · 20/01/2018 14:48

What's her obsession with that word? How old is she? Why don't you say anything when this happens?

Original poster
Polly345 · 20/01/2018 14:48

Sorry - forgot to mention - she is 14 but this is not a new thing - it's been going on since she was about 11 or 12.

OP posts:
BoucleJacket · 20/01/2018 14:53

It is disrespectful.

Why couldn't they just describe you as "Jokey" or "funny" etc?

Using the word "crazy" makes it almost sound like they are laughing at you.

Original poster
Polly345 · 20/01/2018 14:55

I've meant to say something for ages. The thing is my friend appears to treat her as an equal and is proud of this.
I have told my friend I find it awkward and how I would never have said anything like this to my mother or any of her friends. Similarly I wouldn't expect my son (similar age) to do this. They both seem to think this is cute and funny.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/01/2018 14:55

Some people describe themselves as crazy. I don’t think it’s necessarily rude.

ApproachingATunnel · 20/01/2018 14:56

Crazy can be interpreted in many ways, not all of them positive. I would not like to be described as crazy myself- because i’m not (to me ‘crazy’ implies slightly unhinged and out of control).
Ask your friend what exactly they mean by ‘crazy’. You don’t sound crazy to me, being chatty and friendly (unless you are way ott and don’t ever shut up/don’t notice any social clues and just rattle on and on) doesn’t make you ‘crazy’.

Original poster
Polly345 · 20/01/2018 14:57

BoucleJacket - that's exactly how it makes me feel.
If the daughter said - this is my Mum's friend - we have a good time and she makes me laugh - fair enough.
She makes out that I am the 'crazy' one and she is the 'grown up sensible one'.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 20/01/2018 14:57

It sounds like she means crazy as in wacky and fun and not insane.

I think she likes you.

MrsJayy · 20/01/2018 14:57

How would you feel if she said this is polly this is mums bonkers friend? Teenagers say stuff that can be taken as offensive the kid isn't laughing at you fgs

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2018 14:58

You should have pulled them up it ages ago. I am glad you have now, they probably thought it was fine as you did not say anything.

saladdays66 · 20/01/2018 14:59

If she knows it upsets you, then she is being rude and disrespectful.

What was your friend's reaction? Did she think you were overreacting? Hmm If she did, she's not a very good friend. Tell her that something is only funny if everyone is laughing.

user1493413286 · 20/01/2018 14:59

If she’s saying it how you’ve described them she’s actually meaning it as a compliment. If you want her to stop maybe talk to her Mum but I think if you say anything to her she’ll probably be upset and embarrassed and it’d ruin what she probably thinks of as a good relationship with her friends Mum

ParadiseCity · 20/01/2018 15:01

For a 14 year old to call me crazy I would take it as a compliment. To me it implies I'm the fun one that gets on well with teenager. Crazy aunty v dusty boring aunty. However if you don't like it, tell her so, gently!

NewYearNewMe18 · 20/01/2018 15:01

'cray cray' is very much teen speak. It really means nothing more than unconventional, not an escapee from a secure psychiatric unit

MakeItStopNeville · 20/01/2018 15:05

It sounds to me like she really likes you. My 14 yo’s bestie calls me the Cool Mom, even though I’m anything BUT cool. I’m actually pretty strict. But I think the adult connotations of that title are not the same as what’s going on in a 14 year olds head. It’s not really worth getting upset about.

Fresta · 20/01/2018 15:15

Crazy is a complement in my opinion. It means you are fun and she thinks her mum is boring compared to you.

FluffyWuffy100 · 20/01/2018 15:17

In this context I would take crazy to mean wacky/fun/different/spontaneous and take it as a compliment.

SaucyJack · 20/01/2018 15:20

Unless you've gone out of your way to cultivate some sort of kerazy persona (face glitter, green hair, yadda yadda), or she's using "crazy" as a euphemism for "chronic alcoholic", then there does seem something slightly off about it. Like she's labelling your perfectly normal adult behaviour as being OTT or embarrassing?

There's no harm in pulling rank and telling the little pipsqueak to shut it next time she's being cheeky.

Serin · 20/01/2018 15:28

Do you otherwise like the girl?
If so I would just let it go.

Coyoacan · 20/01/2018 15:35

It sounds to me like she really likes you

Me too

TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/01/2018 15:59

Crazy is not an insult to a lot of people. I often describe my eldest daughter as a bit crazy. She is spontaneous, fun loving, always the life and soul and has a fairly unusual take on life in general. She is mostly really good fun to have around. I'm imagining you are similar OP.

She has suffered from depression in the past (seems okay for the last few years) and can be a bit volatile and moody. I suspect having slightly wobbly mental health is part of the package when people are very charismatic.

I'm sure you are lovely OP.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 20/01/2018 16:27

Coming from a teen I'd say that means she likes you and thinks you are fun, I have 4 teenage siblings plus my DS and they all have a 'crazy one' in their group of friends and a crazy teacher, crazy aunt etc, its the cool, popular funny one so I'm pretty sure its a compliment.

Hygge · 20/01/2018 16:40

I think it depends on how you feel about the word she's using.

It does sound like she likes you and thinks you're fun, but in that case she could describe you as the fun one, or the friendly one, or the one who makes jokes.

MIL used to describe me as wacky to everybody she met. This was entirely based on the fact that one summer I wore a sun hat, and so apparently didn't care what I looked like or what people thought of me.

It was a perfectly normal hat.

For years people who hadn't met me before were expecting Su Pollard to turn up based on MILs description of me.

I really hated that word.

barefoofdoctor · 20/01/2018 16:42

Compliment here definitely. It's not like she introduces you as that mad cow Grin

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