Friend and daughter describing me as 'crazy'

[Polly345]

My friend's daughter thinks it's funny, clever etc to describe me as 'crazy'. I am friendly, chatty and I do like to make jokes and appear as a happy jolly sort of person.
This is fair enough - but recently I went out with my friend, one of her friends (new to me) and the daughter. The daughter thought it was hilarious to describe me to her mum's friend as 'the crazy one'. This happened again a while ago when we were with the the daughter's friend (also previously unmet).
The final straw came when my friend very proudly told me a story where she and her daughter were discussing me and how long we had been friends. Her daughter again had used 'crazy' as a description. I told my friend that, in my opinion, a child describing me as 'crazy' made me feel uncomfortable and I found it disrespectful.
Interested to know opinions.

I don’t see crazy as particularly insulting or offensive. Friends describe us as crazy because we swim in the sea year round. We’re quite happy with that. Crazy means a little unique or not mainstream; usually loud, funny, bouncy. It’s generally positive.

Not nice, OP. Crazy doesn't imply good or fun, it implies, well, crazy. Which isn't a nice way to describe anyone, regardless of their interpretation of the word and you.

I would find this disrespectful as well.

Almost as much as she being able to say something rude to you but wouldn't dare say it to another person , because it'll be ok with you as you are 'crazy'.

I think she’s fond of you and is using it as a term of endearment too OP, but now she knows you don’t like it, she shouldn’t use it.

I would think it's a compliment.

Unless you feel she's been cheeky, has you been out with you for drinks. If u see's you get wilder and a joker on a night out, which is no harm but probably why she thinks your a little crazier than her mam or other friends mams.

Next time it is said. Ask why do you find me the a crazy one.

I'm sure it's meant in a positive way but I once heard myself described as crazy and was shocked by it. I'm the most boring fucker in town.

I don't think you're BU. I hate this kind of language as it seems to set a script and if you challenge the script then you're ''defensive'' but if you say nothing you're going along with it and condoninng it somehow.

My x's definition of crazy was putting my own needs above his own, even briefly, and not doing what he told me to do, and not believing that his word was the last subject on everything from the bible to mapping the genome project. Crazy = not showing a man with a huge ego the respect he has not earned. Oftentimes as the Americans would say.

My DD and her friends call me crazy too. I take it as a compliment! We all have fun together!

I think you might be focusing on the word possibly? Crazy to me is fun and someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

Nope, I think she's overstepping boundaries. She is trying to act like she is a grown up making comments about someone to make her seem a bit grown up. And I bet she's picked it up from mum. (I had this from a "friend's" dd making slightly disparaging things about me. Yes it came from mum gossiping) I'd tell them both calmly that you dislike the word crazy, do the good old mn head tilt and ask them if they think you have mh issues, and why.

Without knowing you, how can I possibly add anything? You may well be certifiably crazy, cat lady crazy or just a bit of a hippy.

Just fucking accept that some people have a different definition of the word, maybe her mum/aunties/nana are dull and she finds your enthusiasm crazy. Maybe you use a kettle as a handbag and would rather be called “ eccentric “

I don't think it is meant in a nasty way at all. However if you don't like it maybe say something like you have been calling me that since you were 11, it's getting a bit boring.

My kids call me crazy! Take it as a compliment- we have evenings where we just chuck dance music on or we'll go out and come home after 9, they think this is a bit crazy and tell me so! However, if you've made it clear you're not comfortable with it then maybe it is a bit rude?

It sounds like she means it as a compliment.

I do think it's a bit overfamiliar so I see why you're irked by it.

But my new favourite phrase has definitely got to include "uses a kettle as a handbag".. excellent work priscilla 👏👏👏

@Polly345

I think there are two issues here.

One that both the woman and the girl are labeling you something you do not like. Just tell them to stop. Make it clear it bothers you.

It may be either one is using at as a compliment and may not realize it offends. You need to tell both daughter and mother you are tired of being labelled the crazy one and it needs to stop.

You might say you especially don't want people you are being introduced to, to be familiarized with your friend and her daughter's view of you. (If this is how you feel, which it appears you do - quite rightly in my mind).

Secondly, the friend treats her teenage daughter like an adult. That's tough for you if you don't see her that way, but I doubt this will change.

You've got choices, you probably can't convince the other mum to treat her dd differently but you can choose whether you want to go anywhere with the two of them and meet others with them. Or simply to see your friend, not her daughter.

If the friendship with the mum is important to you, just go out, have coffee, go for drinks with the mum, and explain to her you would like to see her for adult chat and not with her dd.

If she doesn't understand this she sounds a bit dim and you may need to decide whether to continue to see her regularly or wait until her dd grows up a bit and has her own interests.

Good luck.