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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I a CF?

69 replies

TheUglyFive · 20/01/2018 12:07

Living in a shared room - there's three of us and no central heating. We have three storage heaters, two of which are right next to my bed, one of which is next to B's bed.

We also have A in the room, A has been in the room for four years and thinks that the other two of us don't matter - her stuff is everywhere and we can't use the shared desk because it's just packed with her stuff, she gets angry if we put too many things in the bin and A and B argue A LOT.

Every night I go to bed first (5am starts), I turn off the two storage heaters by my bed as the room is too warm. B then goes to bed, and leaves on the storage heater next to her bed with the agreement that A turns it off when she comes in at 11.

Every fucking night A comes in, doesn't turn off the storage heater by B's bed but does turn on the two next to my bed.

Every fucking night an hour later I wake up drenched in sweat, turn the two next to my bed off again, and she gets up and turns them back on. I turn them off when I wake again and that's it until morning - I do turn them on when I leave so the room is warm when they both wake up

I have politely suggested to A that she takes one, or both, storage heaters and plugs them next to her bed.

"I have no space" and "I don't want to get too warm".

I told her this morning that I was going to move the storage heaters next to her bed and so she could be warm. She again said no.

I have removed the two storage heaters out of the room. This is the possible CF behaviour. In my defence, I currently have a fractured pelvis and getting in and out of bed is extremely painful.

Do I proceed to CF step two and rotate my bed so that A cannot access the plug sockets next to my bed that were being used for storage heaters power supply? [Bearing in mind I can barely walk this is going to be quite a task and I may have to involve B]

OP posts:
TheUglyFive · 20/01/2018 13:53

Have left her a not suggesting she gets an electric blanket / hot water bottle, going to move my bed around when B gets back (hopefully B is not smashed when she gets back).

And I am now looking at private landlord rooms, thank you.

We don't pay electricity here so that argument wouldn't work with her but it may with the staff.

OP posts:
barefoofdoctor · 20/01/2018 14:06

The council will stump up a deposit for private renting if you choose that route. Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to? (ESA, PIP etc?). Is it worth getting on the waiting list for a council property, or a complete waste of time?

If the heater is a fan heater how about plugging it into the socket then chucking it in the bath while A is bathing? Problem solved (light hearted).

Are there any charities local to you who could help? We used to have The Amber Trust near us who helped/advised/advocated for mentally ill people (me included). Don't know if such places still exist given the cuts being made to funding.

No1WiseGuy · 20/01/2018 14:07

First world problems?

SumThucker · 20/01/2018 14:10

First world problems?

No, just the OP's. And...?!

Cornettoninja · 20/01/2018 14:16

First world problems

Hmmm like being irritated enough to type a condescending message to someone on the internet?

Suppose so.

TheUglyFive · 20/01/2018 14:19

@barefoofdoctor I do work so I don't think I can claim benefits, I have spoken to social services this week already about housing and it doesn't look like it's worth me going onto the list.

I am going to receive a criminal compensation award but I don't know when at the moment and once I have that I hopefully will have stopped dissociating and also be better at looking after money. It will be used to find me somewhere to live long term.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/01/2018 14:21

No1WiseGuy

Unnecessary, much?

PhuntSox · 20/01/2018 14:21

Take the fuse out so she thinks they are broken, put it back if you want to use it, take it out again when you go to sleep. You will need a screw driver.

TheUglyFive · 20/01/2018 18:28

B is back, and because she's cold, one heater has been allowed to come back into the room.

It's next to A's bed.

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 20/01/2018 18:39

a virtual hand hold, because it seems your life is really tricky at the moment. but it is just for the moment. you're proactive and looking to make things better. things will get better. Flowers

PositivelyPERF · 20/01/2018 18:48

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time, OP. It sounds awful and I hope the future is brighter for you. I also hope you're getting help for your mental health. Flowers

TheUglyFive · 20/01/2018 18:52

Thank you @eddielizzard and @PositivelyPERF

I do know this won't be forever, and yes, I am getting help with my mental health - need to try and get some more practical help but I didn't have time to ask at my last appointment.

OP posts:
mum11970 · 20/01/2018 19:08

I suggest taking the fuse out when going to bed too. Assuming the heaters aren’t particularly old, they should have a sealed plug that you can pop the fuse out of in seconds. Either that or I’d be threatening to ram it up her rear next time she plugs it back in.

SilverySurfer · 20/01/2018 19:08

You are about as far from being a CF as you can get and life must be hard right now, without this idiot woman compounding the problem. I think removing the fuse from the plug is a great idea. If that fails I would be cutting off the plugs - replace them when you leave.

Wishing you the best and hoping you can extract yourself from that situation very soon.

SilverySurfer · 20/01/2018 19:10

No1WiseGuy
First world problems?

DFO

iMatter · 20/01/2018 19:40

No1wiseguy (oh the irony...)

Do you share a bedroom/your living space with 2 complete strangers?

I'm guessing not.

DFO

ProfessorSillyStuff · 21/01/2018 04:50

Op,

  1. in the UK pip is based on your disability and you can claim it while working.
  2. Council must have a duty of care to vulnerable adults and you should be in uncrouded supported housing. Go to them and complain about the overcrowding.
  3. You should get a support worker or two. Get citizens advice bureau to fill out your pip form and see your through till you are successful. Shelter can help with your housing support needs. You should also have a cpn who should be helping you.
4.You can probably claim working tax credit or income support to supplement your wage if your income is so low. Citezens advice can help you find out what you're entitled to
  1. In the uk the high court has just made a ruling that makes it easier for people with mental health problems to be accepted for pip, so even if you were refused before you may be successful now.
I hope that helps. I've never heard of someone with poor mental health having to live that way unless they were refusing to move or choosing to let a bunch of strangers crash in their room. My heart goes out to you. It sounds like hell!
SpringBlossom2018 · 21/01/2018 08:35

I do work so I don't think I can claim benefits, I have spoken to social services this week already about housing and it doesn't look like it's worth me going onto the list.

TheUglyFive PIP is not an out of work benefit and isn't means tested so you may well be entitled to it, I used to know of someone who was a trainee lawyer who had MS who still got DLA/PIP, work doesn't come into it.

No you are not a CF, A is. Hope the heating situation is sorted soon and your pelvis gets better, it sounds very painful bless you. Sad

TheUglyFive · 21/01/2018 09:57

Thank you for the information regarding PIP, I am going to look into it. I'll also call the council back.

A came home and moved the heater next to my bed, told me it was fine because it was "off" but it was boiling, and it often starts off the night off but then ends up on. Moved it outside.

Going to speak to management today (neither of the senior people work on Saturday).

OP posts:
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