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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To escort yr9 Dd to her date

55 replies

Smellylittleorange · 20/01/2018 11:51

She has been 'going out' with a boy from yr 10 since xmas she is yr 9 14 in july ..they have not really met properly before just know each other through friends at school . He lives in a rural area I gather but us miles away from us. They are meeting up for a lunch date for a couple of hours in a nearby town ...aibu to escort her there ...say hi to him. Disappear for a couple of hours then take her home?

OP posts:
BadPolicy · 20/01/2018 11:52

YANBU as long as you really do disappear and don't loiter and check up on her.

ChasedByBees · 20/01/2018 11:56

Sounds fine, is there anything you’re particularly worried about?

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 20/01/2018 11:56

What on earth? Nine year olds going on lunch dates?
Surely they are 'friends' not anything more, whatever funny labels they put on it. You don't have to play along you know.
I despair, I really do.

Biker47 · 20/01/2018 11:57

What on earth? Nine year olds going on lunch dates?

Year 9. 13/14.

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 20/01/2018 11:57

Oops so sorry Op, I read it as 9yo not yr 9

All a bit different in that light!

Yes say hi and linger nearby in a bookshop or cafe...

Super123 · 20/01/2018 11:57

The op's dd is 14 in July. She is in Y9 in school.

PippaPug · 20/01/2018 11:57

No JeNsSuis - a 14 year old - in Year 9

Finola1step · 20/01/2018 11:57

I would take her in and bring her back. But would perhaps refrain from meeting the lad.

Unihorn · 20/01/2018 11:58

Year 9, not 9 year olds...

I think as he lives so far away it wouldn't be that strange to take her there but I don't think I'd say hi to him..

Biker47 · 20/01/2018 11:58

Assuming she can get to and back from the town by herself by public transport, I would just stay away.

shushpenfold · 20/01/2018 12:00

Finola is right....drop her and check she’s there quietly but do not escort...my dd would kill me if I did!

Mummaofboys · 20/01/2018 12:02

Drop her off and pick her up but give her some respect and trust don’t go in and meet the poor guy, they can’t get up to much in a restaurant.

quitealotlost · 20/01/2018 12:03

Drop her off and pick her up, yes. But don't day hi just yet!

SleepingStandingUp · 20/01/2018 12:04

Agree - drop off round the corner, tel her where you'll be, agree hqt she wil do if she wants to leave, agree where she will meet you later at x time

Ylvamoon · 20/01/2018 12:04

Personally, I'd take her to the town and enjoy some shopping or cuppa in peace!
I would not meet the boy at this point and just let them get on with lunch... but be on standby if needed!

LovingLola · 20/01/2018 12:10

Has she actually physically seen him in person before today?

Saracen · 20/01/2018 12:12

Your plan sounds perfect. I don't think it matters one way or another whether you give the lad a quick hello as long as you don't try to make it into a scary proper chat.

needapaddle · 20/01/2018 12:14

If that was my son he would be polite (because he has good manners) if you came and said hi but I imagine it would be a 'massive cringe' moment for your daughter!

By all means if she brings him home then you would expect social interaction but why on earth would you specifically park up, walk in with her and do that? Just drop her off and pick her up - subtly, for her sake! At what age would you stop . Seriously though - if you want to meet him then get her to invite him over.

Iggi999 · 20/01/2018 12:16

Hat. Sunglasses. Sit behind them in the restaurant. Job done.

MsHarry · 20/01/2018 12:21

Absolutely OP I would do the same. I have a yr 9 DD. No bf yet though. Phew!

lljkk · 20/01/2018 12:26

They are meeting in a public place. Does she need to rely on you for transport each way?

I'm thinking I wouldn't go along, tbh. I wouldn't see the need.

Dontbuymeroses · 20/01/2018 12:28

Not really met before? in what way does she know for sure that he is who he says he is? Is there no way that they could not meet as a group? So some of his friends and some of her friends?

ObscuredbyFog · 20/01/2018 12:29

I'd want to clap eyes on him albeit when she couldn't see me and have the code text and code reply sorted before she got there so she knew she had a get out plan if she felt she needed it.

Chewbecca · 20/01/2018 12:30

Do you know for sure he is a year 10 local boy? If so, I would drop her off but not try to say hi.
If you don't know for sure he is who he says he is, definitely say hi too.

lljkk · 20/01/2018 12:31

I think OP means they haven't been together 1-to-1. They see each other at school in groups but not been out on a date before.

Not that she never laid eyes on him or he might be Mulch the TruckDriver from Brighton pretending to be a 13 yr old!