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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Situation at work....AIBU?

195 replies

se7enthings · 19/01/2018 10:10

Hello!
I work in a pub 10 hours a week whilst at university, the pay is crap but the hours fit in.

I am the youngest behind the bar age 23 and I feel as though I’m getting mugged off. I work with a 60 year old lady who knows everyone and constantly looks for conspiracy in the workplace, aka, someone’s stealing etc.

I am the only person out of both of us to clear up the glasses and lifting a heavy crate 70+ times a night has started taking its toll and I am suffering with what feels like an injury to my spine. I have asked several times for my colleague to help me and she does it once or twice then stops. She’ll stand next to me talking about how someone pissed her off and watch me clean up everyone’s glasses. She tells me to “hurry up as she wants to leave at 12:30” but stands talking to customers whilst I clean the bar, she moans she has a bad back and is under impression she does everything. Landlady not much use as only cares about profit not staff wellbeing.

Anyway, I don’t get sick pay, at all, and I’ve checked the rota and I won’t be able to take one of my holidays as others are off. I can’t cope with the pain, I’ve missed a day of uni and I’ve been up all night with it, AIBU to get a sick note for 2 weeks?

OP posts:
Original poster
se7enthings · 20/01/2018 13:39

Claralaraloo - I have worked hard since I was 16. I’ve never been out of a job. I’m not work shy. Please refrain from accusing me of being lazy.

OP posts:
claralaraloo · 20/01/2018 13:41

that's 6 years. Try four decades then come back and tell us what you think of young folk expecting you to do the heavy lifting. [hmm

StepAwayFromGoogle · 20/01/2018 13:45

If this woman and the OP are employed to do the same job (barmaid) and it involves heavy lifting, then everyone with the same job description should be doing the same tasks. Surely that's age discrimination otherwise? Unless the other woman already has a medically-recognised condition that means she can't lift. I don't think 'because she's old' counts.

60 isn't old these days. My parents are in their 70s and fit as fiddles. Some 60 year olds would be really insulted that people would assume they couldn't lift 'because they were too old.'

claralaraloo · 20/01/2018 13:47

Your parents may be ".fit as fiddles" but they are not 23 and would not be able to lift crates of beer around the place for long.

Has the world gone entirely mad?

Original poster
se7enthings · 20/01/2018 14:11

claralaraloo ageism fabulous

OP posts:
Myfavouritechild · 20/01/2018 14:25

Wow, claralaraloo! I’m am unfortunately closer to 60 than 23 but even now with arthritis if I was employed to do a job I’d do it. You can’t just say that because someone is 60 they get a free ride! That’s just ludicrous.

If you’ve hurt your back Op rest it and get a new job

MilesHuntsWig · 20/01/2018 14:41

There are some clueless arses on here. You’re not being treated fairly. Even if she was struggling to lift stuff she could talk to you about what else she could do to I. Order to help and acknowledge that it’s not fair. Ultimately, however, she should be competent to do the job that she’s employed to do.

You need to leave - they don’t give a shit about you and you will get more work as you clearly have a good work ethic. Good luck.

Graphista · 20/01/2018 16:05

Clara I'm far closer to 60 than 23 too - I still think you are being disgustingly patronising and condescending.

If the 60 year old isn't fit for the job - shouldn't have even applied let alone been given it! And not because of age because there ARE 60 year olds who COULD do it.

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 16:57

clara I'm over 60 and think the OP has every right to expect this idle woman to pull her weight.

I'm glad she's decided to leave rather than put up with unfair treatment.

I don't expect to play the age card at work with my younger colleagues.

claralaraloo · 20/01/2018 17:12

It's not ageism it's respect, manners, not being a total git.

Not so long ago it was the standard. Now, kids seem to think they are owed everything up front, no need to give anyone else any respect or help them.

AaronPurrSir · 20/01/2018 17:38

Wow, Clara is a chippy ol’ bitch and probably a CF. I feel sorry for your colleagues.

If the older barmaid can’t do what is required of the job, she shouldn’t be in the job. End of story. Clearly she is not capable of doing the job, which is not the OP’s problem and it’s not up to the OP to permanently injure and potentially disable herself over it.

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 17:51

It's hardly evidencing lack of respect and manners if my younger colleagues expect me to put in the same effort as they do.

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 17:52

I don't consider it a lack of respect or manners on my younger colkeagues' part if they expect me to put in the same effort at work as they do.

mellicauli · 20/01/2018 18:10

Yeah..that exactly...you work as a team, no matter what ages you are. And BTW, inmy 50 years' experience it is ALWAYS the person accusing everyone else of thieving etc who is the guilty party.

TooManyPaws · 20/01/2018 18:12

I'm knocking 60 and worked as a barmaid as a student. I knew more about fair pay, safety at work, and employment rights than one of the rip off employers I worked for so I quite happily dobbed him in to the authorities. I wasn't stupid enough to "respect" my elders when they were actively ripping off all their employees. I really don't recognise this imagined golden age of kowtowing to others at work because of age.

Now I'm the old fart, I don't expect any special treatment because of it. I do the same work as my much younger colleagues, and any adjustments that are made because of my arthritis are due to a disability rather than age as even children get arthritis. What an idiot of a CF on this thread to be so ageist and wittering on about respect for elders allowing them to cop out of their fair share of their paid work.

Sweetpea55 · 20/01/2018 18:21

Find a job in another pub,,and take your holiday,,

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 18:23

Well said Paws

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 18:25

melli exactly. You work as a team, and the OP is under no obligation to allow this woman to take tke puss because she's older.

lalalalyra · 20/01/2018 18:29

If the older woman isn't fit enough to do the job then she shouldn't have been given it.

OP find another bar to work in - your LL doesn't give a shit and she won't change anything while the work is all being done.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/01/2018 18:36

Yanbu. You aren't a snowflake either. Leave the job.

Swatsup · 20/01/2018 18:42

The older lady knows all the customers and spends all her time talking to them.

She is going to be hard to replace! Keeps the customers happy and they come back. 10 hour bar staff would be easy to replace especially with a trusted 60 year old to train them. Sorry I would put up or leave.

latara23 · 20/01/2018 18:58

Ok. I'm a healthcare assistant and luckily I started just after actual physical lifting of patients was banned in nhs hospitals.
The women who worked in care before the ban, well most of them have chronic back problems.

I also have relatives who worked in construction, factories & other jobs or who routinely lifted heavy children- their backs are fucked too.
My dad has chronic sciatica and can't feel his own feet!!
My mum is in agony every morning.
You don't want a chronic bad back like them when you have a life of work ahead of you.

Also I have colleagues who are late 60s. They are expected to pull their weight as part of a team.
Your colleague is a cheeky fucker!

You are not whiny.

You are 23 - life is there to be enjoyed not endured!

Ditch the shit job and get a different job, for example in a place with nicer colleagues and better conditions.

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 19:01

Swatsup the OP said the other lady had only started working there recently and said nothing about being trained by her.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 20/01/2018 19:05

Your parents may be ".fit as fiddles" but they are not 23 and would not be able to lift crates of beer around the place for long.

I'm 50 this year, and can lift and carry crates as well as any younger person. Age is not a free pass to get out of doing the job.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 20/01/2018 19:07

I started in January 2015 she started the February

OP was there first, and just becaue this other woman gets on with the customers doesn't mean she's irreplaceable, lots of people can be nice to customers.