To hate how I looked on my wedding day

[Goldmonday]

I got married almost two years ago and honestly look back and absolutely hated how I looked. My dress was beautiful but I don't think I wore it correctly (wasn't done up the right way) and I absolutely despise how I had my hair.

It's such a shame because I look back now and think wow I could have done such a better job than I did.

I know it's superficial but I can't help but feel bothered by it. STILL haven't got round to getting our wedding album printed and it's honestly because I only really like how I looked in a couple of photos. I feel so envious of brides now who get to make themselves look beautiful as I feel like I missed my chance!!

Anyone else feel the same way?

I do wonder why I chose the dress I did, I went dress shopping with my 2 year old so was rushed and picked the best of a bad bunch.
I wish I’d lost more weight and my hair was in terrible condition!
I felt horrendous as it was and then a stunning 6ft, size 8 ex colleague came up to tell me on the day she couldn’t believe how fit my husband was and how did I nagar to get him? She assumed the best man was my husband as he was ‘short, fat and ugly’ ( he totally isn’t he is lovely and she is a bitch!)
Made me feel like shit and every time I see photos I just see a short, fat dumpy bride.

Blimey, rainbowlou - I hope you crossed her firmly off your friendship list! I'd have wanted to throw her out!

Op, women are under so much pressure to look a certain way, to the extent that the happiest day of your life is causing you so much heart ache. That can't be right.
Please try and focus on the stuff that matters. The love between you and your partner, how fortunate you are to have a lovely wedding day, the fact that you've found someone to share your life with.
You're not just a doll who exists to look perfect.

Screaming

Funnily enough not had anything to do with her since!

I did like the dress I bought at the time, but it was the first one I tried and in hindsight I wish I'd tried on a few more. On the day my headdress, a tiara type, kept sliding over my eyes - the comb attached to it wasn't strong enough to hold it in place! But it was still a wonderful day. And so is the marriage which is what matters.

I had a mullet.

Lots of us are slightly self-conscious or sensitive about how we look. It all seems to be exacerbated in relation to weddings, because we buy into this image that we should be at our very best. I remember colleague observing that very few people are truly beautiful, very few are truly unfortunate in their looks, and the vast majority are in the middle / fairly ordinary looking. I found that reassuring

HOnestly? Maybe you’re pissed off that you felt the most important thing about the day was how you looked. When it really wasn’t.
Who cares if your wedding photo is up or your album is printed? Actually who cares and what difference does it make to anyone? If you want a nice photo of you and your husband, get one taken or do a selfie.
You have a happy marriage. What more Do you really want or need from that day?

For my first wedding I wore an 80s style meringue but I insisted my make up and hair looked like me rather than too perfect. I refused to wear heels or tights as I find them uncomfortable. Much to my mother and MIL's horror I wore socks and trainers under my dress. I also had a stash of biscuits in my pretty white bag which left crumbs everywhere. My exh thought it was hilarious when I showed him. I was very happy with the photos because I felt comfortable in what I was wearing and was being myself.

My second wedding was during the time when all dresses were sleeveless and strapless. I bought a cheap cream lace dress and did my own hair and make up. I wore trainers again with the dress. My friend took the photos and they look very natural. When DD got married she also wore trainers under her wedding dress to keep up the family tradition! The photos were taken by another family friend who is a keen amateur photographer and they were lovely as we all look so happy.

I believe that the wedding industry sells this idea of a 'perfect' day to brides in order to make as much money as possible. The reality is that most women can't possibly match up to the dream that they are sold because they can't afford it and are not supermodels.

Op, sorry for the long post but have another look at your wedding pictures and look at them in a different way. Think how lucky you were to marry someone you love and to have your family with you to celebrate because that is what really matters.