Who is BU?

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

Me and partner just moved in together and are organising where stuff goes.

Sadly, most of the stuff we're using as main stuff (bed, sofa, tables etc) are his things because they are bigger and technically better.

The flat is a 2 bed in an apartment building. It comes with outside parking and a double garage in the basement.

I decided I would like to use the second small bedroom as my office. For what its worth, I work from home and I also earn much more than him and our rent reflects that. Im not saying that to be a bitch, just to express that this isnt "hobby" "working from home" or "self employed" with massive air quotes. Its where the money to pay most of this rent is made.

His hobby is working out.

He wants to put his gym equipment in the room I would be using as an office.

Initially I didnt see why not.

But now it has occured to me (thanks to another thread I made!) that theres going to be nowhere to fit my sofa. The sofa is a thing I love dearly. Its beautiful and it was the first big purchase I ever made. Its important to me. We wont be using it in the living room because his is technically much more practical.

I considered putting the sofa on the terrace outside but posters told me it would get mouldy. So it would have to go into our basement storage where I assume it would also go mouldy (its velvet).

My sister said I should put the sofa in with my desk in the office room, turning it into a kind of study.

I suggested this to partner. I said that since he would generally be using the outdoor parking for his car, why not use the double garage as a gym?
He didnt like this idea and said that would be hassle.

What do you think?

Its the first time I've lived with someone so I'm wary of riding roughshod over what he wants. At the same time, the double garage adds to our rent and is for his exclusive use, he's going to use it as some kind of man cave with his tools etc. So i dont see why I couldn't have an office for my stuff?

Would be grateful to hear your thoughts. I feel quite selfish talking to him about this.

Aside from money issues, practically the gym equipment would be better in the garage, so it should go in there. You

I think the sofa should go in your office. He can workout in the garage.

If the double garage is exclusively for his use and serves as a retreat, I don't see why the second bedroom can't be the same for him.

Or you could suggest putting his sofa in storage and having yours in the living room as a compromise. It's not just you who should be willing to compromise.

I don't think it's wise to bring finances in to it, that shouldn't be relevant.

*second bedroom can't be the same for you, not him!!

YANBU

So he wants the garage AND the spare room as his space while he pays less rent?

Did you ask him where he suggests you work? Does he expect you to sit on the sofa with a laptop?

Yep, sofa in the office.

Did he want the place because of the double garage?

I think the gym stuff in the garage makes more sense especially as how would it work if he wanted to work out and you were working? Even just on a day off. Maybe put it to him that way.
Also when you live with someone it’s lovely to have another room with a sofa to go into if you want a bit of time to yourself while the other one is watching tv or whatever. In our first flat my and DH only had one bedroom and I didn’t like having to go into the bedroom if I wanted to read in peace or talk on the phone and now we have 2 bedrooms it’s lovely to do that on the sofa in there.

Makes the most sense for his gym equipment to go in the garage - going to the garage can be the start of his work out if he uses the stairs!
Put the sofa in your study. It's the only sensible option - he's looks like he's trying to ride roughshod over you. Stick to your idea - it's way better than his.

@user1493413286
That does indeed sound lovely, I like that thought. And if either of us had friends over after an initial politeness drink the other could go crash without having to "go to bed".

So he gets all his way. Gym in double garage and office space for you sensible approach

@notfromstepford

Thank you for that vote of confidence!

I have to admit I'm slightly depressed I even have to discuss it with him.

If you work from home you should have the room as an office, it's really selfish of him to want to use it for a gym when you work from home actually. Where does he expect you to do your work?

@Trinity66
He was fine with me having my desk in there, its just he also wanted to put his equipment in there alongside it. Which was fine by me until I realised I would have nowhere to put the sofa. And it just seemed a waste what with there being a double garage!

What's the gym equipment? Wouldn't it ruin the floor. Or could even disturb neighbours? Garage for sure.

Explain to him that as you are working from home, desk bound, you'll be keeping your office warmer than he would want it for work-outs, and that he'd be much more comfortable in the garage where he could maintain the temperature he wanted.

@SillyLittleBiscuit

Yes I did wonder about floor although assume he would be careful. Its weights and bench.

GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz
@Trinity66
He was fine with me having my desk in there, its just he also wanted to put his equipment in there alongside it. Which was fine by me until I realised I would have nowhere to put the sofa. And it just seemed a waste what with there being a double garage!

ah right ok, I get you, it's not as bad then but yeah gym equipment sounds better in the double garage (as long as it's not damp in there because water getting into electric gym equipment can damage it) I'd rather a couch in the spare room too

Is the garage very cold so hard to work out in during winter
Would you enjoy working in a room with his gym stuff or would it feel like a storage unit?

I vote sofa

Tell him he can have the garage or the spare room but not both.

If he decides he wants both, then tell him he can pay more rent as you will have to store the sofa and he will need to cover the payment, as right now you do have a place for all the things to go in the house, and remind him the square footage of the garage is much larger than the spare room.

You work from home, so you should have a decent space in which to do your work; that trumps 'hobby'. If he has time off his employment and you're working in your office, would he expect to work out in there at the same time? Er...no.

Is it an upstairs flat? Any neighbours would appreciate it if it was in the garage I am sure. DH keeps his bench and weights in the garage, even if it is freezing he has warmed up within 5 minutes of working out. Also how serious is he about the weights, will he be using it 5 days a week (as I assume you will be working 5 days)

I know his sofa is technically better, but if yours is that important to you, perhaps you could use that one in the living room anyway and get rid of his, if he's got no particular attachment to it.

But given the office is a real actual office where money is really earned, indeed most of the household income, I don't think it's unreasonable to insist the gym stuff goes in the garage. In winter he'll warm up quickly from exercising or he can get a portable heater. Then he can work out whenever he wants and it won't disturb you.

If you work from home you should have the office and put the sofa in it. Gym equipment in the garage is much more appropriate, plus he won't be disturbing neighbours while he pounds away on his treadmill or whatever. If he sees going downstairs as 'hassle' then I can't imagine he does a lot of exercise anyway! Ok that's a bit flippant but it's still less hassle than going to an actual gym.

If he had just worked out in there, would you want to go to work in a room smelling of sweat?

The money is less relevant than the fact that he has a space that is exclusively his, but you don't have a space that is exclusively yours. I would focus any discussions on this aspect rather than the money.

Won't he want his sofa in his man cave?
Then you can have your velvet one in the living room.
Is he as attached to his sofa as you are to yours? Maybe sell his sofa.