Who is BU?

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

Me and partner just moved in together and are organising where stuff goes.

Sadly, most of the stuff we're using as main stuff (bed, sofa, tables etc) are his things because they are bigger and technically better.

The flat is a 2 bed in an apartment building. It comes with outside parking and a double garage in the basement.

I decided I would like to use the second small bedroom as my office. For what its worth, I work from home and I also earn much more than him and our rent reflects that. Im not saying that to be a bitch, just to express that this isnt "hobby" "working from home" or "self employed" with massive air quotes. Its where the money to pay most of this rent is made.

His hobby is working out.

He wants to put his gym equipment in the room I would be using as an office.

Initially I didnt see why not.

But now it has occured to me (thanks to another thread I made!) that theres going to be nowhere to fit my sofa. The sofa is a thing I love dearly. Its beautiful and it was the first big purchase I ever made. Its important to me. We wont be using it in the living room because his is technically much more practical.

I considered putting the sofa on the terrace outside but posters told me it would get mouldy. So it would have to go into our basement storage where I assume it would also go mouldy (its velvet).

My sister said I should put the sofa in with my desk in the office room, turning it into a kind of study.

I suggested this to partner. I said that since he would generally be using the outdoor parking for his car, why not use the double garage as a gym?
He didnt like this idea and said that would be hassle.

What do you think?

Its the first time I've lived with someone so I'm wary of riding roughshod over what he wants. At the same time, the double garage adds to our rent and is for his exclusive use, he's going to use it as some kind of man cave with his tools etc. So i dont see why I couldn't have an office for my stuff?

Would be grateful to hear your thoughts. I feel quite selfish talking to him about this.

Our set up is like yours; sofa in my study. The other advantage of it is if you have guests they can sleep in the study and have their own space rather than kipping on the sofa downstairs.

Don't worry about having to discuss it with him if all is well otherwise. Sometimes one's first instincts just are a bit selfish and as soon as you properly talk about it it's easy to realise that one's been a bit of a tit (in the same way some people are instinctively martyrs who would never express a preference even when you really need one). I've had lots of little moments like this when moving in with someone and as long as you're both pulling in the same direction they're never anything more than that.

Meh i would ditch my own sofa as there is already one (im assuming) in the living room. Who needs 2 sofas? Its really just a sofa, you know...stuff! Who cares who earns more its BOTH your home and you should share it. Why should he go all the way to the garage to use his equipment? Maybe suggest sharing the garage aswell?

My DH works from home so there was no question of him having the spare room as his workshop. Yes, I have to make-do if I want to do work at the weekend or one of my hobbies bit in the end, I get to leave the house 5 days of the week for work but he is at home. He needs somewhere nice to work. None of my stuff is in there.
Talk to him - there are going to be worse decisions to discuss in the future, if you can't discuss this...

Are you offsetting the office/spare room part of the rent against tax for your business OP? Maybe you can't in your circs but it is sometimes a possibility.

do you really want him bursting in to work out while you are working? set it up as an office and office only, its your place of work and you need a set area where you can leave your work stuff out with out anyone coming in and seeing sensitive documents etc or disturbing you, its not like its a hobby

What is the gym equipment? If it has potential to make noise or vibrations then your neighbours won't be happy. Either way he can use it anywhere. You are hardly going to go to the garage to sit on the sofa.

@Okadas

Its just weights and a bench so no noise issue!

The issue is that you agreed on an arrangement and now you're going back on it, and it would seem mainly to justify putting the sofa there.

It sounds like you initially were ok with it being a gym because you don't actually need the space of an office to do your job whereas he clearly need the space for his equipment.

If you'd discussed it before, and indeed could only afford a two bedroom, then your suggestion would have made more sense, but once you agree on something that means a lot to the person you live with, it's not nice to then expect them to go with your change of heart just because of a sofa.

What would the garage be used for? I don't see why his gym equipment can't be in there.

It sounds a tad one sided, all his stuff, his space for his needs and you're given a corner.
I'd want the sofa in the study area.

I wouldn't want to work in a sweaty, stinky room.

Have your office and shut the door.

"Hassle" - you mean going downstairs to a garage?! -I am reading about some pretty pathetic men specimens on MN today

We just turned one of our garages into a gym recently. You can get special flooring tiles that aren't hugely expensive, and we put an old tv in there with a roku box. The whole family now uses it! And yes, it's a bit cold at first, but you soon hear up. You could also out a heater in there if you wanted.

I think you need to sell it to him better. It would be his own space, who h he could do up like a gym (as opposed to just his equipment shoved into a corner of your office). He might even be able to get more equipment. And for a small investment he could watch mancrap his favourite programmes whilst working out! (Found my DH watching that one about finding crap in sheds while running on the treadmill!). What more could a man want?

We've had gym equipment in the house and the garage (it's a cross trainer) and it is way better in the garage. I rarely use it but my husband is in the garage usually 3 nights a week with his music nice and loud and he manages just fine and he likes it. We are in Scotland and we have no issue with anything getting damaged in the garage, and it isn't the warmest but when exercising that isn't really an issue. He could always plug in a heater anyway. When it was in the house I would go an annoy him or the noise would irritate me. It is nice to just go away and be by yourself for a while anyway. I think sharing the room for your office and his exercise stuff may lead to irritation for both of you. The garage should be his man den with all his stuff and the spare room into a nice office for you. Both have a space suitable for each of you that way.

Suggest that as you need a designated work space what would he feel is better? Having it (with sofa) in the second bedroom, or spending money insulating, decorating, heating and wiring the garage for use as your office? His choice then, but I fail to see why you shouldn't both have your own space, in particular you as you need it to work.
Does he use the weights or not really?

I don't see why his stuff can't be in the gym. He seems to be taking over and giving uou very little. It's sad you even have to negotiate for some me space with him, whilst he demands the lot for him. That's really not healthy. He seems very selfish and only interested in his needs.

Who thr fuck wants to work beside his weights and bench? And what about when you want to work and he wants to work out?

You need to talk to him about equal partnerships, comprimise and give and take. Not just he gets what he wants and you get shoe horned in.

He gets the shed, you get the office - fair deal, he can't have both! Greedy git

He’s being unseasonable. If the garage is to be a man cave, it can have the gym equipment in it.

You need a proper office if you work from home and don’t need to be tripping over weights all the time.