I was in a very similar situation. I was an only child and hated it, desided in my teens I was going to have 6 children. I had gynae problems from the off, was told it was unlikely I would ever get pregnant because of them. I got pregnant at 19, "had" to get married (this was the 60s) Was sick, ill, baby LL breach and bit for my size 8 body. Had moved 50 miles away from friends family, didnt drive. had to be hospitalised with pre-eclampsia, c section booked, I went into labour, called the nurse over told her my waters had broken, she said rubbish youve wet the bed. That night, big panic, the surgeons have all gone home, emergency C section at 10pm, had eated so tube forced down my nose to aspirate stomach contents, they got angry with me, told me if I had the urge to push and did it would be extremely damgerous. Staff were all horrible, started having really bad nightmares then halucinating in the day, (so I stoped myself sleeping sat reading behind my curtains, they came along and knocked me out with strong tablets) in the end I called me GP, she came, they wouldnt let me see her and were really angry with me. Didnt see the baby for 2 days, but no-one told me this was policy, I hought she had died. After getting home, as soon as I closed my eyes I was halucinating, he baby was trying to suffocate me with a pillow, I could see surgeons coming at me. Went to the GP she said I had full blown Pur schychosis, proably would be called PTSD nowdays, put me on "purple hearts", they were so strong I couldnt function. She said next time she would send me to a different Hospital, I assured her there wouldnt be a next time! I was advised to wait 4 years after the C section for the womb to heal. The following year i became very ill with gall bladder problems, again same GP said there was nothing wrong with me! Fast forward, I did want more children, figured it could be as bad again. Was assured by GP (we had moved) I would always have sections, and what did it matter the end result was the same. I was lucky, I had a very scarey,older,female obs who had never had a baby, but was willing to give me a scar trial. I went into labour 2 months early, ened up in hospital bed rest for a month. Gave birth naturally to my lovelly oldest DS, my daughter was now 6. A few years down the line, ready to have another go, I did have episiotomies with both DSs, got hospitalised with high BP straight from the ante-natal clinic.( and he was orn so quickly I fractured my coccyx) I think a lot of the problems ie high BP were caused by (now ex-H) Re-married at 41 had my DD, no problems, no sickness, no high BP, no cut, I already had a 9 year old,15 year old and 20 year old with misscarriages in between. So I would say never say never, give yourself time, you have plenty to make your desision, there is no hurry, enjoy your baby, get everything sorted out healthwise. I have a cousin who was so traumatised by her first birth she said she would never had another and did 15 years down the line.