Hate my MIL for this comment about DD

[chickennuggetsandicecream]

So when I was about 11 weeks pregnant with my DD the MIL came to stay we got into the discussion of routine tests that they did and I said I'm waiting for the Down's syndrome screening to come back. Her words were "well if it does have a chance of being downs you should abort it" my reply was I'll keep it no matter what !! (Anyway results came back fine and the chances of DS was 1 in 100000) But ever since this comment I can't stand the woman now my DD is here she constantly insists she is dressed in pink and I can't call her by her nick names as she doesn't like it she doesn't even like the way I pronounce her actual name sorry but I named her I know how to say it. When me and my partner stayed with her she would scoop my DD up at every opportunity even if she made a small noise and said oh she was really crying (no she wasn't I was in the room next door) considering my DD had a cold at the time and she just wanted to be left to rest and would cry if disturbed. The woman really annoys me she won't listen to me at all amd constantly tells me how to look after my DD. Am I right to dislike her after what she's said and done

And breathe.

Well... to play devil’s advocate I’d wonder why you had the test if no decision to make about keeping it. I also appreciate her wanting to cuddle the baby and pretend she was crying, but the name stuff and undermining you isn’t on. I’d be inclined to make your OH handle it tho personally

Yes

What is it with people thinking they can wake your sleeping baby

Well... to play devil’s advocate I’d wonder why you had the test if no decision to make about keeping it. I also appreciate her wanting to cuddle the baby and pretend she was crying, but the name stuff and undermining you isn’t on.

This

I don't understand why anyone would tell anyone else they were having tests, because people might just have an opinion on it.

No need to share stuff with MIL.

Get your DP to have a word with his Mother about overstepping the boundaries when it comes to her grandchild's care.

Why have the test then? The whole point of the test is so you know and can choose to terminate if that’s what you want??

I had the Downs test with absolutely no intention of aborting. It was more to be prepared. Had DS2 been Downs, h explained outdoor have been just as loved as he is now, but I would have been awarenjoying, it wouldn't have been a shock when he was born. Makes perfect sense to me.

OP you need to get your DH to have a word with his mum and tell her to back off a bit.

To the devil’s advocates - maybe the OP wanted to be forewarned if there was a problem?

I think it is very understandable that you are finding it nigh impossible to forget or forgive that comment, OP - maybe it is colouring your feelings about her interfering? You would be entirely within your rights as a parent to be firm with her about these things - though I appreciate that is easier said than done!

H explained outdoor = he would. I don't know on what planet that turned into explained outdoor.

I appreciate you had the right to know about Downs. Smack her in the mouth and send her home

Dreams vs reality! I have made up conversations with my mil about people that don't exist and say "imagine saying that to someone - What a horrid woman. I wouldn't have anything to do with her"

But I HATE my mil and the feeling's mutual but given she's old and evil I can never confront her and tell her how I feel, it may kill her (thoughtful face).

Maybe she wanted the test so she could prepare if she was having a downs baby, and get the right help and support? Is it really that strange?

I had the test so I could be prepared not in order to have an abortion

I had most of the tests and told nobody. If people know you are having tests about anything they will ask you about the results. Just keep it private.

And now you know what your MIL is like tell her nothing.

Posters saying why have the test if you wouldn’t abort - don’t talk rubbish or make assumptions. The point of the test is not at all so you can abort. Of course this would be an option. But I had the test to be prepared.
The routine test is just bloods it’s risk free for baby anyway. Based on This I couldn’t imagine not having the routine tests.
Op your mil sounds horrible for saying this. Agree with those who have said let your dh deal with it though.

It sounds like you just don't like her for lots of reasons. You'll find plenty of sympathetic ears on Mumsnet.

I do know two separate sets of parents who've given their child a name (different names in both cases) which has a "known" pronounciation, and then insisted that it is actually pronounced a different way.

(they didn't pick a different pronounciation to be different, genuinely thought that was how the name was pronounced).

(think of a name like Siobhan and insisting it was pronounced See -ob- han)

So if I was playing devil's advocate, it's actually possible you don't know how to pronounce your own child's name ...

a lot of what you've mentioned is pretty petty, but definitely think you should get DH to to set ground rules.

There are TONS of reasons why you should test even if you wouldn't abort!

Don’t sweat the small stuff.....

The Downs test is so people can prepare for a baby with LD (some like to know ahead of time) or to terminate.
Your MIL sounds interfering. Either you or DH need to be having words with her.

I'd have been upset by that too. I had all genetic tests but would not have aborted my babies and I personally don't agree with it for me. If I'd discovered Downs, I'd have used the knowledge to be better prepared. My MIL comes out with some corkers! I think it's part of their job description.

Well... to play devil’s advocate I’d wonder why you had the test if no decision to make about keeping it

I had the tests with zero intention of aborting. If my child had Downs Syndrome it would has suited me better to know before the birth, simple as that.

I didn’t have the test for downs with either of my kids as I knew it wouldn’t make any difference, I wouldn’t abort for that reason butt I understand if someone else chose too (not my place to judge). Sounds like your MIL is just a bit annoying probably like most MIL’s. Just grit your teeth and smile when she visits and thank god that you don’t have to see her more often.