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AIBU?

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Original poster

Tax credit and child benefit

46 replies

polkacake · 16/01/2018 13:11

I'm a sahm. Never have any money and always seem to have to ask for it.
Dp earns fairly decent wage and because of this have never applied for child benefit as he didn't know if it would work out beneficial or not.
I'm sick of having no money so have requested the forms.
Dp is now saying that if we are entitled to anything it should go in bank accounts for the dc for when they are older.
Aibu to think I should in fact have this money to use for the dc?

Nc as I don't want this linked to my name.

OP posts:
TheQueenOfWands · 16/01/2018 13:14

Ask for a card for your joint account.

Having no money sucks.

QuiteLikely5 · 16/01/2018 13:14

Yes you are correct.

Why do you tolerate being skint whilst your husband is clearly earning a huge salary - above 60k?

Read him the riot act

reallyanotherone · 16/01/2018 13:15

You need to apply for it regardless.

It’s not just about the money. If you’re a sahp being in receipt of cb, even if you don’t actually get the money, pays your NI so you will get a pension on retirement. If you aren’t claiming cb you will have however many years less of goverment pension.

But it sounds like your dp is being financially abusive. You should have your own money and not have to ask constantly.

letsdolunch321 · 16/01/2018 13:16

Yup, tell him you will be keeping the money to spend on visits to play groups etc.

idontlikealdi · 16/01/2018 13:17

Yes you should and you should claim child benefit even if not entitled and pay it back at the end of the year - I cant remember why but its somehting to do with tax.

What's his salary? 50k-60k is a sliding scale.

mothertruck3r · 16/01/2018 13:18

You won't be entitled to any child tax credits if he is earning £50k and child benefit will be gradually tapered away if he is earning over this amount to zero if he is earning over £60k.

LemonSqueezy0 · 16/01/2018 13:19

This is financial abuse - its not a dictatorship, he should take your concerns, feelings and wishes into account. Also, as PP noted its also about your NI contributions being kept up to date, which will pay your state pension when you're older...

KatherinaMinola · 16/01/2018 13:19

It’s not just about the money. If you’re a sahp being in receipt of cb, even if you don’t actually get the money, pays your NI so you will get a pension on retirement. If you aren’t claiming cb you will have however many years less of goverment pension.

This. Where will you be if you split up with DH?

But you also need to have a joint account - you shouldn't have no money if DH earns a good wage. It should be yours to spend equally.

I doubt you'll be eligible for tax credits, as they're means tested.

RandomMess · 16/01/2018 13:22

So you're not married and he is financially abusive Sad

swingofthings · 16/01/2018 13:22

If he earns over £50K, he will be taxed on the amount you receive. If it's over £60K, he'll be taxed on the full amount, so in essence, that you would do is get the spare money but he would then have to do a self-assessment and repay an element or all of it.

If he earns under £60k, you need to decide together whether the spare money (difference between what you get and what he would need to repay) is worth going through the process of self-assessment.

If you are doing this purely to access cash, then there is clearly an issue in your marriage and finances.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 16/01/2018 13:22

YANBU. We get WTC, CTC and CB. The WTC is in DH's name, the rest is in mine, DH also gives me money, as I spend most of it day to day.

swingofthings · 16/01/2018 13:23

Agreed about the need to claim to accumulate NI, I'd forgotten about this for SAHP. So you need to discuss what you do with the money if indeed and whether it needs to be used to repay what he will be taxed on (if earning over £50K).

KatherinaMinola · 16/01/2018 13:27

Just realized you're not married. You must claim CB in your own name then, purely to protect your pension rights.

Original poster
polkacake · 16/01/2018 13:28

Thanks all.

60k> is his wage so we won't be entitled then.
I had completely forgotten about claiming regardless for pension.
So will still continue with the claim anyway.

You've all said what I thought.
I'll be having words later about money/having a joint account etc.

I feel like an unpaid maid tbh

OP posts:
LadyGlitterSparkl · 16/01/2018 13:28

From what I have read child benefit also covers you for National insurance if you are staying home to look after kids, so in effect goes towards your state pension. Your DH has to earn over £50,000 before it's affected and even then it would just mean that he would be paying some back through income tax. Also child benefit was started for the very reason to stop mums having to ask partners for money for kids and stuff

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/01/2018 13:29

Spend it now. Children are expensive.

Original poster
polkacake · 16/01/2018 13:29

Katherina is it possible to claim cb even though he's my partner?

OP posts:
BarbaraofSevillle · 16/01/2018 13:29

If you're not earning, you'd also do well to get married as he can use some of your unused tax allowance.

It also provides you with legal protection about joint assets such as house, pensions etc in the event of a split and should the worst happen, entitlement to widowed parents allowance if one of you dies while the DCs are under 18.

But yes, if you're caring for joint DCs while he works, you should have access to his wages as family money wherever it comes from. How are groceries, DCs activities, and your personal spends like clothes, transport and food while out and about paid for now?

Original poster
polkacake · 16/01/2018 13:29

Sorry that was meant to read even though I'm not single and have a partner.

OP posts:
Keepingupwiththejonesys · 16/01/2018 13:31

Why are you struggling when your 'd'p earns a decent wage?! I'm a sahm and dh works full time, all money is family money

Original poster
polkacake · 16/01/2018 13:32

Barbara we do the food shop weekly together, any top ups he will either grab on he way home from work or I'll have to say I need money to go do a top up shop or I'm going shopping etc etc so will need some cash.**

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/01/2018 13:32

I think the threshold for CB and CTC is 60k
So if he's on less than that you should definitely be claiming for it.

Although he should be giving you a substantial set amount each üeek. You shouldn't be having to go cap in hand. You are after all doing the hardest job if all and at least he gets a tea break.
I can't think of anything üorse than having to ask for money as an aduıt.
It's alright saying oh apply and save it, but You need the money noü.

RandomMess · 16/01/2018 13:33

It's tragic you are an unpaid maid.

All childcare, housework etc done by you and you have to ask for any money you want?

Is your name on the deeds of your Home?

Original poster
polkacake · 16/01/2018 13:35

Name isn't on anything no.

OP posts:
liz70 · 16/01/2018 13:40

You don't need more money from the state with a wage like your DP is bringing in. You need - unless you have undisclosed debts or other past financial irresponsibility - equal, unlimited access to the money coming into your household. Your DP is treating the mother of his children like a child herself. How much longer are you going to put up with this?

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