Tax credit and child benefit

[polkacake]

I'm a sahm. Never have any money and always seem to have to ask for it.
Dp earns fairly decent wage and because of this have never applied for child benefit as he didn't know if it would work out beneficial or not.
I'm sick of having no money so have requested the forms.
Dp is now saying that if we are entitled to anything it should go in bank accounts for the dc for when they are older.
Aibu to think I should in fact have this money to use for the dc?

Nc as I don't want this linked to my name.

Check how much child maintenance you'd be entitled to with his wage, OP. You may well be better off single.

What do you do if you want a new top or a hair cut or new lipstick etc?

Your current set up is not ok.

I'm a SAHM. DH gives me £X per month which I generally save as a rainy day fund. I also have access to joint account and joint credit card for day to day expenses. I also claim the NI element of child benefit.

Does your partner realises how the current situation is for you? You definitely need to talk about it. Being a SAHM doesn't mean slave labour!

Is he your dp or dh? If you claim cb and receive payment it could be repaid , in part or full, by his tax return, but you benefit from cashflow in the meantime. Or you submit a claim and opt out of payment, thus accruing your ni credits until youngest turns 13 and having it available should your circumstances change. Is your dp otherwise controlling?

Tell him your going on strike as he considers you free labour.

Then tell him you want X amount in a deposit account each month for the shopping, childrens clothing and stuff about £100 a month for that.

If he won't I would ask him every morning for your pocket money, and tel him no money, no washing ect...

Yes, you can claim cb if you have a partner or a spouse. And it should be in your name - we made mistake of not transferring cb to SAHD and he ended up short on his NI contributions for pension purposes.

You are in a very precarious position. He has benefited from a huge input from you - cost up housekeeper and nanny.

You have no income, no stake in the home

Spend it now. Children are expensive.
If it's spent, it will have to be repaid through self-assessment or they could be in trouble with the dwp.

OP, I have to ask but is the issue that your OP is stingy with his earned income or that he thinks you spend too much? Why don't you have a joint account?

I doubt they'll be government pensions for much longer, but this aside it's money for the kids.
Why are you skint when the family money is a fairly decent amount.
I couldn't be with a man who didn't make sure I was entitled to the money s much as him, even as a sahm.
I'm sure this is financial abuse, does he manage all the money?

Swingofthings it's very hard to spend too much when you have nothing too spend

Gilly yeah, he manages everything.** Apart from the kids, housework, etc

You are in a terrifying situation financially, I'd be demanding my name on the house and access to cash.

Child benefit is paid regardless of wages isn't it?

Chocolate... CB can be paid regardless of wages but if a single earner earns above £60k or 2 earners earn above £50k each then it must be repaid in its entirety. There is a small sliding scale below these amounts. The benefit in claiming it is for a SAHP who will have their person contributions made on their behalf whilst caring for young children

Chocolate50, yes it payable regardless but if either partner earns over 50k (after pension and allowable deductions) part or all is repayable via their tax return. If you know either is earning over 60k so it is repayable in full , some opt out if receiving the money at all instead.

He's a financially abusive twat.

If you're not earning, you'd also do well to get married as he can use some of your unused tax allowance.

As OP has indicated that her 'DP' earns over £60k then this wouldn't apply. Also her DP would have to effectively pay back the amount received in child benefit as extra tax. BUT OP should definitely claim it so that her NI contributions are protected.

When I was a SAHM my DH was a higher rate taxpayer but we didn't have to pay back ALL the CB as he earned under £60k and charity contributions etc also reduced the amount of tax he had to pay. we didn't have a joint account but all his money (after bills) was transferred to an account in my name (tax reasons) so i never had any problems with access to money.

OP, your DP is financially abusive and you are in a very dangerous position. Get some professional advice.

Your missing the much bigger problem here. You have sleepwalked yourself into a very vulnerable position, where you have become financially dependent on a financially controlling man and have very little legal protection.

Everyone has a role to play in relationship dynamics and yours appears to be, accepting that your partner has a greater say over your life than you do. Wake up!!!!

Do you realise that you have supported him 100% to carry on in his career yet if you split he can turf you out of the house and will only have to pay you the CMS rate?

At this point I'd be wondering why he hasn't married you yet...

He is financially abusive. You are very vulnerable because you are not married. Do you realise how badly he could screw you over if you split?

Do you realise that you have supported him 100% to carry on in his career yet if you split he can turf you out of the house

this is obviously a very true and worrying fact.
I fully intend on getting something sorted. Tonight.
When I've managed to think about what to say in a calm manner because right now I'm really angry because all of what has been said couldn't be further from the truth

sorry but why do people put themselves in such a bad position,its scary and very controlling by the other person

op what happens if you need a haircut,meet up for a coffee/lunch with friends

i really hope you have a word with him you deserve to be treated equally and be able to spend as you see fit (as long as its not all on shoes)

My dh earns around 90k, we still claim CB and he pays it back in his tax return. I'd do that if I were you and make sure it goes into your account.
Other than that, why don't you have access to any money? That is not on.