To not know what to DO with my children?

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Feeling like a shit mum lately. Can I say it without being jumped on? I love it when they don’t need anything more than my physical being. When they play together or even alone.

I don’t know how to keep them entertained. I don’t know how to make up games or role play.

The iPads, phones and TVs are definitely over used!

They are 4 and 2.5.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking. Am I alone with this one?

Having children is hard! Don’t be too hard on yourself.

It is hard. Why not buy some simple board games to play together. Your 2.5 year old might only be able to join in by being the dice roller but it's a step towards being able to play together.

Read to them. Take them to the local library and get books.
Painting.
Go for walks.
Local playground.
Get them to cook and clean with you.

Also found it very hard. Easier now oldest is in school but holidays are so tough.
I don’t put tv or screens on till we’ve been out somewhere. Could just be the garden or park or somewhere further. Then I know they’ve had some fresh air and exercise (crucial for their behaviour I’ve found) Then I feel less guilty about screen time.

I have the same and made the "rule" for myself of one session of 20 minutes per child per day where they get my complete and undivided attention.

They get to choose what to do.

So reading, knocking up some cakes, playing a game or just talking or even singing.

It makes it more manageble and it's very good for them.

I found I quite enjoyed playing with the brio train set with both my DD and DS. Try to find something you enjoy and avoid other games that can be tedious.

Don't beat yourself up, and don't let anything or anyone guilt trip you about the TV.

When I was a small child - up to about age 7-8 actually - we didn't have a TV. Mum used to put a pile of drawing paper on the kitchen table for us, and we would draw, colour, cut paper, make holes with the three hole punch, scatter the little cutout circles all over the place, etc. We played outside. We played with our dolls. We played with clay. We made castles with the couch cushions and blankets. We fought like cats and dogs. Mum used to make little yarn dollies for us and let us roll out dough, 'help' with measuring, sieving, and other baking bits, and gave us dusting cloths to 'dust' with. We also read, and she read to us.

Many years later, I had the TV on one day ('one day' - was it ever off???) when mum visited, and she and my DCs spent a few cozy afternoons on the couch watching entertaining children's programmes, singing along, laughing at the funny bits.

I joined them and she said, "God how I wish I had had a TV when you were all younger!"

I loved and still love my DCs, but for the sake of my sanity I needed to start and finish household tasks and admin stuff without 'help', and I figured it was good for them to be bored sometimes, to have to learn to entertain themselves a bit. I don't think there's anything wrong with TV.

Your DCs are at an awkward age, and there is an awkward age gap that makes it hard to find an activity they can all be happy with. They are too young to read or do anything for more than about 20 minutes before needing help finding something else to do. You spend your whole day mopping up wet paint, trying to fish broken crayons out from under the couch, scrubbing marks off walls, washing the table, sweeping up after lunch or washing marker out of clothes. They hit each other, knock each other over, pull hair, shout, yell, complain... It can be very frustrating. Your own work takes ages to complete. You feel your life is like Groundhog Day.

Try to get out once a day, even for a short walk and run around with a ball. Try to spend time alone with each child each day just chatting. After that don't worry.

Google it. You can get loads of suggestions online for play with toddlers and young children.

Look for groups you can attend and get ideas

mopst important. talk to them and read to them.

if you talk to them about tv/screens that improves the quality of screen time.

Some of the super lazy activities my 3.5 year old DD has enjoyed:
Trainset, and print out pictures of food with blue tac. Train stops at various stations to pick up food items for dinner. Add pictures to a bowl to "cook"
Trace around toys on magna doodle or paper
Small container of water and a paint brush to "paint" the walls/ground etc outside
Colouring books
Make all the books into a long track and read them in order (they will get bored before you have to read too many!)
Keep a large cardboard box and let them go nuts with paint/textas/cheap stickers
Get a baby wipe and clean the walls
Doll house (or fire house, farm, etc) and try different kinds of figurines in it. I find if I just start quietly setting up a scene I get pushed aside so DD can do a better job!
Bucket of water and hand towel to give plastic toys a bath
Plus the usual outdoor trips!

Build a blanket fort
The park - every day you can.
Make a big lump of play dough
The library - find out if they run kids activities - get books out
There should be toddler groups in church halls or Sure Start centres
Jigsaws
Put a load of flour and water in a tray, roll up their sleeves and let them get on with it
Bucket of water and bubbles - get them to wash their toys - mine loved that!

I go for tv only in the morning (after breakfast for about 30 mins) dd is contained in highchair for breakfast so I use time from coming downstairs to then to sort kitchen and do jobs (all downstairs). During this time I get out and set up a few toys (so this morning

I have a 2.3 year old and a 7m old, winter is hard, we always go out in the morning to groups or the park or whatever but afternoons drag. My eldest just wants to play make believe all the time which is lovely but draining for a whole afternoon! We use screen time than I would like too.

I would put all the iPhones and screens away for a week (including yours) and go through what I call the boredom threshold. Your children have to hit this first because they have been entertained a lot by fast paced all singing all dancing equipment. Let them lead and just join in a little occasionally from the sidelines asking what you should do?

Something that you find relatively interesting too could be a good start - Lego or jigsaws or other such activities, as you can all contribute and it becomes a project. Also there's a nice end product!

Sorry posted too soon - I set up toy stations - takes 2 mins but provides a chance for her to play independently for a minute and after jobs tv off and I show her how to play with each thing for a few minutes (so today she has books, jigsaw, duplo farm and a soft toy). Then dressed/out and tv doesn’t come back on until I’m prepping tea (but it does help she naps mid-day - I would consider a quite half hour for your older one if they don’t nap mid-day)

Maybe google thirty things to do before you're 3? Lots of these things can be enjoyed by older children as well.

Also, I find "clean" mess far more bearable eg the basket of shreddings rather than paint or clay.

Also buy/ask for toys you’re happy to play with! We have duplo and a wooden train because I find them less boring! Playdough can be quite a good stress release (in the kitchen only!)

I would get them baking, get them wrapped up and paddling in streams, get them playing with cars/duplo/dressing up. Make indoor tents with blankets (shut the curtains and give them torches), take them for a picnic in the park, find some toddler groups with ride on toys and painting. And read read read together.

Oh and for painting fix, paintbrushes with water tubes in the handle and a few magic painting books/coloured sugar paper. Far less mess than regular painting (which is for outside/messy play/nursery/playgroup!)

I found role play really hard too, don't beat yourself up. I also remember dds being that age and it was so hard remember there being no time ever to just sit and think.

Things we did do, we were out of the house a lot, toddler groups, the park, the library at a friend's house or them at ours. We baked, painted not very often playdoh at the table, ripping and sticking - crafts without scissors so I could leave the room if I needed. We did train tracks, take a while to build. Made towers with wooden blocks. Played board games or 'pairs' In terms of role play I was always happy to be a customer at the shop or restaurant or be the patient at the doctors but I was rubbish at anything other than this.

Our routine was almost out either up until lunch or after lunch (or both). Then home and a bit of tv, bit of play, books, bit more tv while prepping dinner.

On dry days, chalk and the patio kept mine quiet for a fair amount of time.

You can also build games around what you are doing. For example if sorting your wardrobe out, you can organise what you want to keep into outfits and colours schemes, they can organise the pile of discarded stuff. Discuss where you would wear stuff. Try stuff on. Might not want to do the whole wardrobe at once though. If cooking you can set up a play kitchen for them out of the way but so you can talk to them about what you are doing. A bit like a cooking show. If cleaning they can have a 'job'. Their own duster, dust pan and brush. They can 'polish' bits you've cleaned.

Mine are all teens or nearly teen now so I’m trying to think what I used to do (I am also a “crap mother”!)

I had a big hamper of fabric/sheets for den building.
We used to go to the woods with buckets and collect stuff. This grew into geocaching when they were older.
Home made play dough in bulk
I had a box of cut up bits of paper and gave them that and a glue stick to make pictures
I used to hoard “useful” junk for junk modelling - masking tape is good for this as they can just rip it.

Chat to them, read them books and get them out the house everyday.
If they're happily playing by themselves there really is no need for you to join in. If they ask you to play with them then suggest activities you're happy with.