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AIBU?

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Original poster

This is wrong isn't it?

30 replies

beluga425 · 15/01/2018 23:13

Just saw the end titles of a Channel 4 programme called "The Undateables"
They said "If you know someone who is looking for love who has a disability, contact us..."
Why call it that? I just seems to exploit and mock vulnerable people who, like everyone just want a life.

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 15/01/2018 23:15

I don't watch out of principle because I didn't like the way it was advertised when it first came outband thought that it was going to be taking the piss.

RaininSummer · 15/01/2018 23:15

I think that is awful and you are not u at all.

SandAndSea · 15/01/2018 23:16

I really wish they'd call it something else. It's an appalling choice of name.

Original poster
beluga425 · 15/01/2018 23:20

Now I'm watching First Dates on +1 and it seems like pretty much the same idea but they're glammed up and not disabled. Apparently they're not undateable.

OP posts:
sabs22 · 15/01/2018 23:23

I fully disagree with the name but I actually think the show is very well done.

BurningStar · 15/01/2018 23:24

The show is actually really good.

Tanfastic · 15/01/2018 23:25

I have a very charming and gorgeous 9 tear old ds who stammers. I’d hate to think anyone would class him as “undateable” when he’s older Confused.

Joey7t8 · 15/01/2018 23:26

It’s a really lovely show.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 15/01/2018 23:26

I know some one that was on series 1, in fact was asked myself to be.
I'm happy with my lot and wasn't really looking on the dating scene so declined

Sparklesocks · 15/01/2018 23:28

I think the name is meant to be ironic and challenge perceptions of what it means to date with a disability, but you’re right it’s not very clear and does seem unfair.

I’ve watched the show though and generally I think they handle it quite sensitively, the camera tends to be an observer (rather than a stirrer) and the daters are all handled by specialist agencies who make the proper arrangements (ie if the participants have learning disabilities they have chaperones etc). Sometimes they are looking for love but struggle to connect with people, and it’s nice when they actually click with someone.

CaptainCabinets · 15/01/2018 23:30

The name is meant to be ironic; the 'Un' falls down in the opening titles to simply read 'Dateables'. It's quite a lovely show, really.

M00nUnit · 15/01/2018 23:31

I read that they started making the series before they'd named it and that it was the people taking part in the programme (i.e. the daters) that chose the name.

Original poster
beluga425 · 15/01/2018 23:34

I didnt realise it was only for disabled people. They also didn't say "if you are looking for love" they said "if you know someone who is looking for love..."

OP posts:
DonnaHaywood · 15/01/2018 23:37

Agree with PP saying it's a lovely show, which works to challenge the title. C4 has a really good record in their treatment of issues around disability; their coverage of the 2012 Paralympics was awesome IMO, and made a genuine impact on attitudes to people with disabilities.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 15/01/2018 23:38

daters are all handled by specialist agencies who make the proper arrangements (ie if the participants have learning disabilities they have chaperones etc

Well that's how I came to be asked I was at the time working for a national charity that runs its own "friendship and dating agency for people with learning disabilities" which is I'm guessing one of the agency's involved in chaperoning the dates, matching partners etc. I know they do it as part of the agency.

I hate the name of the programme, I'm nervous around cameras etc it just wasn't for me.

The person I know who did do it would never do anything that was preying on vunrablity or degortory.

Costacoffeeplease · 15/01/2018 23:38

That’s my recollection too M00nUnit

I think it’s generally a good programme as in the intent is genuine, and some of the people shown really want a partner and to feel ‘normal’. It can be very endearing and thought provoking

PavlovianLunge · 15/01/2018 23:39

Agree with Captain, the participants are front and centre and presented very warmly, in my view. Quite often they’re filmed with a parent, friend or carer before the date, and it’s always seemed sympathetically done.

MelloDee · 15/01/2018 23:41

As a pp says, it's an ironic name. The show challenges the general publics perceptions of disability and romantic relationships. The show educates Joe Public that those they may consider 'undateable' simply because of their disability, are very much dateable, and can certainly enjoy that side of life just as well as those of us that aren't disabled.

It's a very good programme actually, handled with sensitivity and dignity. I love it.

Costacoffeeplease · 15/01/2018 23:43

And there have been a range of physical and mental illnesses/disabilities featured. At least one couple has married and had children IIRC

BlondeB83 · 15/01/2018 23:47

Agree the name is inappropriate but the actual programme is not at all. It doesn’t pity or stereotype at all as you might expect.

FurCoatFurKnickers · 16/01/2018 00:07

The name is ironic.

The programme is actually really inspiring and uplifting.

One of my clients was on it a few years ago and he's still with the beautiful girl he met Smile

Kitsandkids · 16/01/2018 00:27

My husband is friends with one of the men who has been on it and he found love and is very much pleased that he went on the show. He says it changed his life for the better.

WorraLiberty · 16/01/2018 00:37

I think the name is meant to be ironic and challenge perceptions of what it means to date with a disability

This ^^ absolutely.

It's never occurred to me until now that there may be people who don't actually get that.

FurCoatFurKnickers · 16/01/2018 00:44

Two marriages as a result of the programme from memory.

Brent (Tourettes) and Challis.

Steve (Crouzon syndrome) and Vicky. I bloody love Steve, he's such a great bloke.

I just hope gorgeous, curly-haired Daniel meets the woman of his dreams

MLMsuperfan · 16/01/2018 01:03

The name is ironic.