Pass these gifts on but don't trumpet them and hound us over them.

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

So... Always tricky situation with in laws.

Relatives abroad handed Mil some gifts for us. Lovely, I appreciate the thought. We were not with the them for Xmas.. So thanks.

But.. We have been, or dh called from relatives abroad... Go and get your gifts.. Text and email from dh parents... A few repetitions.. Mil handed them over.. Saying to five year old... Ohh you have lots of gifts from relatives...

Get home and both dd got a colouring pencil set and book. Prices tag on each 2.50 euro.

I got some biscuits and dh a nice shirt.

we have some visitors with us who know nothing of the background and they even said... Oh!was that all they gave them!!

[BigBaboonBum]

You were a fairly awful person for even having these entitled thoughts, you stepped into horrible shitty person territory for thinking it was important enough to make a post about it

[HopelesslydevotedtoGu]

I get what you mean op

It's typical to open a gift, say thank you and perhaps mention it later "oh they drew a lovely picture with the pens you gave them" next time you see them.

It's awkward when somebody repeatedly brings up a present. Sometimes you don't have anything to say about it except thanks and how many times can you say that in one conversation?!

My mother does this, keeps bringing up the gift and prompting us to complement it (after the initial thank yous and any talking about it). It's awkward.

[Sparklesocks]

Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick?

I think you’re focusing on this too much, it’s a gift, say thanks and move on - why dwell on it? Life’s too short

[GetShitDone]

Oops I should say is @Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar the relative abroad... (should have checked that before posting)

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

Well like I said I would be cringing if anyone made out me giving a gift was a huge massive deal be it wrapped biscuits or gold jewellery.

My op clearly states I was grateful for the thought. I just don't appreciate a huge thing being made out of it by Mil.
I guess other people do expect a fanfare when they give gifts?

[SuperBeagle]

Maybe she doesn't like you.

Can't imagine why.

[Costacoffeeplease]

Your problem is clearly with your MIL, had you posted with that emphasis then you might have got different responses

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

Sparkle it's because when my family give gifts, Mil critises them.
I guess this shows how I have been sucked in.
If dh had brought these home from friend at work I would be soo touched.

[bretonknickers]

How many times do you need to say “fanfare” on one thread

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

Super Mil herself doesn't like me know and I dislike her.

When she critised my disabled df who had massive mobility issues and yet got dh a really lovely and quite pricy gift.. Yes I felt contempt for her. She slammed it down. I felt this was rude.
When my dsis sent a hand knitted jumper she openly ridiculed it.
But yes I bow and thank my generous in laws for the biscuits and coloring crayons.. the great gift givers!!

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

Yes maybe Costa I thought I had made it clear my beef wasn't necessarily with the the level of gifts given it was the huge fuss and Fanfare of us going to get them then Mil whipping the dc up about amazing gifts coming their way.

[SunnyCoco]

You sound delightful

[Costacoffeeplease]

I think from the responses, no, you hadn’t. You ridiculed the presents and what they cost, said you bought better for classmates. To me, the focus was on the shit gifts

[Costacoffeeplease]

At least once more it seems bretonknickers

[selavy]

Fanfare is the new super soaker

PS: get a life and stop being a brat - say thank you, stop point scoring with your MIL and move on with your life.

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

Yes Costa.. Mentioning that in relation to the fuss over them.

[Costacoffeeplease]

By your MIL.

No need to ridicule the gifts though it just comes across as brattish

[hungryhippo90]

haha. im sorry id have a little laugh about it, they gave their GC colouring books for Christmas... i would honestly think it was a bit weird unless theyre mega hard up, but they got you and DH gifts.

My inlaws dont have much money.....we dont get gifts from them but DD always gets very nice presents, my Dad doesnt always have much money, DD gets lovely gifts, we get nothing. isnt this the way christmas works for everyone?

[BackforGood]

You sound charming -

Relations with Mil are strained

You don't say........

[Theshipsong]

I understand where you are coming from OP but I think this is stirring up previous issues rather than being the issue, right?

A friend of PIL gave my children a gift a few years ago, except it was a container to fill with collectibles without any collectibles if that makes any sense. My children never expressed any interest in the collectibles and as the collectibles cost more than the container for them, I have never given them the container. Every few months MIL will ask about the container and why haven't I given it to the children to 'play' with. I have explained numerous times that there is nothing in the container, the collectibles cost a lot of money to buy, the children have never asked for a collectible so I am reluctant to start buying them for the sake of it and finally the container takes up a floor space. Despite these, imo valid reasons, she asks regularly and has done for the past few years. As the container wasn't her gift, her questioning my choice irritates me a lot. To me a gift is a transfer of ownership from one person to another and apart from the initial 'giving and receiving with thanks', that should be the end of it.

So I think I know where you are coming from. But there is nothing you can do about it except smile and change the subject. Don't let it irk you, at least in front of your MIL.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

I totally get where you’re coming from. Your MIL has been nasty about lovely, thoughtful, gifts from your family (and sounds like a right nasty cow) but made a complete fuss and FANFARE about some pencils and biscuits. As you say, your kids love colouring things, nice of the rellies to send something, all good, but really not ‘Roll Out the Red Carpet, hype the kids up, create a FANFARE’ worthy level of gift.

Your MIL sounds horrible, any reason you haven’t —shoved her under the patio— gone NC yet?

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

Hungry they are all well off. It wasn't gift from gp, they gave dc one gift each, ok gift.

All of them very well off. On my side varied wealth but the two consistent givers on my side have really hard time, struggling... In many ways and I always say.... Please please please don't go to any trouble.. The dc will have lots(from us) please don't go to any trouble. Yet they do.
But never fuss.. Never expect anything...

[Lotsofgiftsreally]

The ship to song that's made me laugh, hilarious!

How absurd


Yes Annie, that's it spot on. I don't think I'm very clear expressing myself but that's it in the end nutshell.

[hungryhippo90]

Sorry i thought that your MIL was giving your children gifts...so GP? im not being argumentative, but trying to figure out where ive lost myself lol...

im completely with you, i dont understand people who make a big fuss out of gifts theyve bought... id get a bit embarassed if anyone made a fuss of gifts id bought! Even more so if it were something so small.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

If you’d got Annie to draft your OP for you this thread would have gone very differently!

You MIL sounds pretty offensive but as you’re low contact I would just let it wash over you.