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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pass these gifts on but don't trumpet them and hound us over them.

93 replies

Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 21:25

So... Always tricky situation with in laws.

Relatives abroad handed Mil some gifts for us. Lovely, I appreciate the thought. We were not with the them for Xmas.. So thanks.

But.. We have been, or dh called from relatives abroad... Go and get your gifts.. Text and email from dh parents... A few repetitions.. Mil handed them over.. Saying to five year old... Ohh you have lots of gifts from relatives...

Get home and both dd got a colouring pencil set and book. Prices tag on each 2.50 euro.

I got some biscuits and dh a nice shirt.

Confused we have some visitors with us who know nothing of the background and they even said... Oh!was that all they gave them!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 22:06

As example.. A person I know turned up unexpected at Xmas.. Know as acquaintance.. I ran out on Xmas day to the only open shop and brought wine and chocs for them, we also paid for the whole Xmas Dinner.

I would have cringed tomorrow the high heavens if anyone was saying... Wow.. Look unexpected guests... This is what lots brought you.. Look at that wine.. And chocolates!!

OP posts:
WalkingEverywhere · 15/01/2018 22:09

OP, I get where you are coming from too. It's sweet to send a present but why the big fuss about it.

GeekyWombat · 15/01/2018 22:10

You’re overthinking this OP, and possibly hanging a lot of MIL baggage over the top of it to boot.

Enjoy the biscuits and move on.

Lashalicious · 15/01/2018 22:24

You sound like you have contempt for your mil already before this happened. And you may have a very good reason and her emphasizing these gifts as if “oh how fortunate you, op, are to have such generous in law relatives who condescend to give your children a gift worth just what they are, 2.50 cents, let’s alert the media on my/my exalted family’s thoughtfulness” was the last straw. Does she act like she’s superior, op?

user1491678180 · 15/01/2018 22:29

Agree with the majority. You sound entitled and ungrateful and very rude.

ShiftyMcGifty · 15/01/2018 22:30

Entitled and awful? They’re biscuits and 2.50 of colouring pens, for fucks sake. Some of you must receive some shite if you consider that a “gift.” Most kids get that as fillers in a stocking Confused

tonysopranostherapist · 15/01/2018 22:34

You sounds a bit excitable.

Your MIL is probably annoying for various reasons but you're not going to get a bunch of people to side with you over that when we've never met her.

cherish123 · 15/01/2018 22:39

Maybe they will read this and not bother next year. It is the thought that counts.

Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 22:45

Yy lash.. That's very much it. How lucky we are.. And how generous they are.

I immediately genuinely thanked the giver once we received them.. As I was grateful for the the thought. I just don't needed the... Fanfare that goes with it from Mil.

Yes she always acts very superior.. Always.. Always putting my family down and heralding her own. If I mention even the smallest thing about anything to do with me it's cut across or shot down...

She has critised lovely things my disabled df struggled to get for dh in the past.. Eg a gorgeous watch.. Classic beautiful scarf.. Cuff links. She will say, 'oh another scarf dh... How many do you have now? At least ten' or 'but you don't need cufflink you have your df cufflinks his best carrot gold ones...'

My sister sent dd a hand knitted jumper.. 'my what is it I can't make it out.. How odd maybe it will fit you one day.'

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 22:46

Cherish I would prefer that!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 22:48

I did say I wad grateful for the the gifts... In my op. It's mils conduit.

OP posts:
user1491678180 · 15/01/2018 22:48

Yes @shiftymcgifty ENTITLED AND AWFUL and fucking rude!

user1491678180 · 15/01/2018 22:50

If I had given a gift to someone, and they had come onto mumsnet to slag me off for it, I would tell them to fuck off when I saw them again.

tonysopranostherapist · 15/01/2018 22:51

They got DH a nice shirt. That does sounds like a nice present

maybe they don't like you

Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 22:55

But I said I did appreciate the biscuits etc just not the fan fare that came with the them. It s nothing them I have issue with its the hassling and fanfare over it

It's just not something I would do. I give out gifts far better than that to dc class mates I have never met.

It's sweet but not worthy of the fuss.

OP posts:
Tomorrowillbeachicken · 15/01/2018 22:56

Better than nowt.

Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 22:57

Tony the shirt was nice actually. My family would never hand over shirt to one and wrapped biscuits together the other.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 23:01

Well at least we know what to get them next year, lots of packets of beautifully wrapped biscuits Grin and I will hire a man in full livery to announce us and announce our gifts...

OP posts:
tonysopranostherapist · 15/01/2018 23:02

What exactly do you mean by trumpets and fanfares?

you got the biscuits because they don't like you

Costacoffeeplease · 15/01/2018 23:02

What would you do if you had something really worth getting het up over?

Costacoffeeplease · 15/01/2018 23:03

I give out gifts far better than that to dc class mates

Wow, go you

honeyroar · 15/01/2018 23:05

If you'd have collected the gifts shortly after they'd been left and thanked them there wouldn't have been any "fanfare". Is it not a bit strange that they come over from abroad bearing gifts and you don't even pop over to say hi?

Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 23:08

I was grateful for the biscuits.. But interesting that it's actually perhaps an actual message...Hmm I hadn't taken it that way.

Dh doesn't really bother with getting them gifts.. I have been grateful they bother with the the dc in the past so I have always made an effort even though l know I should leave it to him.
I suppose next year I won't bother or as said give wrapped biscuits and make huge fuss over it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotsofgiftsreally · 15/01/2018 23:09

They didn't come over from abroad the presents were sent back with Mil.
Relations with Mil are strained.. Dh doesn't really pop in. He does if they visit though.

OP posts:
GetShitDone · 15/01/2018 23:15

Op post 1 I got some biscuits and dh a nice shirt

Op post 2 My first ever biscuits, thank you i am greyhound

So I @iamgreyhound the relative abroad. We need to know! Grin

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