To think my cousin is stealing from my aunt?

[QuestionableMouse]

My aunt has various medication that she needs to take. It come directly to the pharmacy in a sorted box so all she has to do is find the right day and take the morning/lunch/night tablet.

One of the tablets she takes has been missing from her box. She did not tell me until today so I figured it was a mistake and popped into the pharmacy. The pharmacist said it was being put in and showed me the records to prove it.

Her son is constantly asking her for money... He's basically not interested in her unless she has cash and is a bit of a bully towards her. He's been staying with her and has had access to the tablets. There are other reasons why I suspect him too but it would take too long to get into them here.

What the hell do I do now though?

I'm sorry, what do you want to know? She had a stroke so is physically disabled and has impaired speech but has always managed well.

I know I'm probably jumping to conclusions but he treats her like crap, only seems to want her money and is a bully towards her. He turned up last week with an unpaid bill that he wanted her to pay. The bill was nothing to do with her (it was related to his car).

Does she have capacity?

does she have a power of attorney? It might be sensible for someone in the family who is independent to assist with her finances if there is a concern about financial abuse as well

Amytriptyline & alcohol is extremely dangerous, they cause a fatal heart arrhythmia.
OP - If he is taking both together he may die quite soon (sorry)

Why would someone want ONE random pill?

To take it clearly, some drugs can be abused, the rest of her medication is possibly just stuff that doesnt give off any effect if abused.

@mustbemad17 if it's a dossier with the pop top sticker sheet over then no you can't tell as it can be peeled away and stuck back with no obvious signs. Use to have to do this with some residents meds when pharmacy put them in the wrong time.

Op it can be a little expensive but could be worth getting two timed dosset boxes the open and beep and the time they're due. I say two so one can be refilled while she still has the other unless you're happy to fill yourself from the prescribed ones from the pharmacy and hide the extra dossets.

For all those asking about capacity. Questions of capacity can only be answered in a specific way. Under the Mental Health Act it is the question or decision at hand ie. does this person have the capacity to properly answer the question or make the decision after understanding and weighing up all options. This might not be a question that the OP can answer fully

When you say one, you mean one of the prescribed types not one individual tablet?

Questionable I would be jumping to the same conclusions as you.

PP - the woman has had a stroke and lives independently - there's really no need to assume she's mentally incapable.

Many people go back to work after having a stroke. My mum worked for 15 years after hers.

I read it as one prescription worth of tablets, not one individual tablet. Especially with the pharmacist confirming it had been 'put in' (presumably the order).

I thought so too iklboo but if other posters were reading it as an individual table I can see why they thought OP was leaping to conclusions.

I don't think much can be don't without police involvement though. My Dr's refuse to reissue prescriptions like this unless theft has been reported.

In future the tablets could be locked away somewhere if the aunt will accept they've been stolen but that's the tricky bit.

I take amitryptiline. I don’t doubt that it can be abused in large quantities but it’s very different from opiate painkillers, even in the way they are managed at the pharmacy. One single tablet of amitryptiline isn’t going to do much for anyone and certainly isn’t going to have much street value.

I assumed she meant one pill every day/every time it should have been taken was missing. Not one pill full stop.

Geeky I think the same as you.

Some addicts grind pills down to snort, smoke or inject - giving a very different experience than taking orally.

Also if she gets a full months prescription in one delivery. That's a minimum of 28 tablets. Depending on dose prescribed and times per day. If this has been going on a while and not picked up he could be saving or using quite a quantity. That could have a bigger effect depending on what else is being used with it too.

Scooby i'm assuming as OP mentioned the Nomad system these are sealed & popped. We have had instances at work where relatives have attempted to tamper with the meds & it is usually pretty obvious because of the way they are sealed.

OP there really isn't much you can do except report it perhaps to adult safeguarding. Can I suggest that if possible you make a point of collecting her next lot of meds & photographing the contents? That will give you the proof someone is tampering.

Does she have carers or other visitors? It is possible that someone else is interfering with her meds

No carers and no visitors to her home (she lives in monitored flats and the residents meet up in the lounge rather than each other's flats)

We've tried for power of attorney but she won't go for it. We do now manage her money through.

I didn't get over today (its a ten mile drive, one way) but I'm taking her shopping tomorrow so will check her nomad. I'm really hoping it's some sort of mistake and not theft.

@mustbemad17 I've worked in care for 17 years and most use the nomad system and as long as you're really careful, it can be peeled back.

@QuestionableMouse would she be open to storing her meds in a lockable drawer or box?

scooby If you've worked in care for 17 years and have been moving medication about you wouldn't be working for me. If you have had any kind of training you must know you can't just move meds to the right time. You take the box back to the chemist/pharmacist and get them to do it. Anyone coming after you cannot administer/prompt medication you have touched, you or anyone could open a nomad and put any pill in there. There are many medications that are "round white" etc that all look similar. Seriously, that makes a mockery of any training, I hope you don't encourage others to do that too.
There have been cases where staff have lost their jobs or worse doing less than that.

Only talking from personal experience Scooby have also worked in care & sadly had this situation arise several times!!

The only way you will be able to 100% tell if it was theft by someone else would be if someone can 100% vouch that the pills were there to start with. Then you have that basis to work from.

I have a nomad paper pack for my medication, does your Aunt pierce the packet and give herself the medication, or does her son do it for her? They are very awkward to access (my dh has started giving me my meds as I don't have great dexterity in my hands and was accidentally dropping some of my tablets as I caught them) you need to pierce the paper top and hold your hand under the open unit. I struggle to curve my hand to prevent some of the medication falling out. My smaller tablets have a habit of falling out of my hand.

I do think, however, that it would be very unusual for this one tablet only to go missing in this way. If your Aunt has had a stroke, how is her dexterity in her hands? Is it likely that her son puts the meds out for her? If this is the case, then there is opportunity for her son to steal that one tablet (although he would have to google what the tablets look like as there is only a verbal description of tablets in my nomad tray). However, if your Aunt opens and takes her medication unaided, then I can't see how your cousin would be able to access the tray, without tampering being obvious. I wouldn't be too quick to accuse, you first need to find out if your Aunt is taking her meds unaided. If she is, have a look on the floor or on the chair where she takes her medication. If you can't find any of the missing pills then its more likely that the chemist has made an error and forgotten to put that pill in. If her son is helping put out her medication then you need to think carefully about how to approach your cousin. Particularly if he is aggressive. Perhaps ask if she can have it prescribed separately, so you can pick it up and provide her with a different pill organiser for bedtime only. (so your cousin can't access her meds). I would tell your Aunts G.P if you are doing this so that if he gets angry and calls demanding more, they can be prepared. I personally would be contacting adult care department of social services if this is the case.

@mirren3 I left care years ago. The pharmacy wouldn't take them back. This was over 10 years ago, and at the time none of us had memes training. I never said I'd do it now, all I said was it is possible to.

Meds training not memes.

Saying that if a sticker can be peeled back that sounds very different from the meds box I use (I am in Scotland so they may use a different product, my meds box has to be pierced through to access the tablets).