Would you leave 14yr old , 4yr old and 2 yr old ...

[Babyiwantabump]

In the car while you nipped into Aldi (or any other supermarket) to get something for dinner?

Does the 14 year old have a phone? Then yes, on the provision they don’t get out the car, the doors stay locked and no headphones go in!
I used to love being locked in the car with brother, it felt like an adventure 🙈 (I clearly had a tame childhood!)

Just read on the news a mother had left her 10 year old son in the car whilst she popped into Aldi and a nearby car had caught fire. Security guards had to smash the windows open and rescue the boy. People were branding her 'stupid and thick' and should be prosecuted.

Just some info for you.

The kid wasn’t hurt and it wasn’t his car on fire. Seriously, what are the chances of there being any trouble?

I thought this was about leaving them in the house alone overnight. I thought hell no! In a car while you're in Aldi then it's fine. Not asda though.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar yes no one was hurt but it’s going to stop me leaving my 9YO in the car when I go into Tesco. He hates Tesco and like holidayhelp said, it’s an adventure.

If a 14-y-o, assuming NT etc, is not able to manage looking after much younger siblings for a short time, then its parents have failed. If it is not required to, its parents are failing.

14 is not adult but it is not a dolt either.

A parent is failing if they’ve not had to leave an older sibling in charge of younger ones? That’s ridiculous.

If one of mine wasn’t capable of watching 2 sleeping children siblings by 14 I would be worried. Of course she will be fine

Is there a 14 year old in this country who doesn’t have a phone?

ah the mumsnet combustable car fire. on the par with deadly cat poo

Blimey! 14!! Of course it's fine to do this. Does she not babysit for you?

It's odd how things have changed so much in such a short time. I'm arranging a night out with friends and one of them said she can't make a certain date as her DH will be out. Their DD is 14, surely she can be left alone for a couple of hours at night!

Yes

If so many people are saying 14 year olds are not responsible/trustworthy/able enough to look after 2 little ones for 10 minutes, where are we going wrong???? Fair enough if there are diagnosed issues that we aren't told about here, but we're not talking about latchkey kids left every day after school for a couple of hours and responsible for younger siblings. It's 10 minutes!

I seriously worry about this generation of kids/teenagers and how we as a generation of parents are restricting their emotional and social development.

I thought you were going to ask if it was ok to leave them overnight (no) or for an evening (yes with an emergency back up). To pop into a shop, absolutely.

Neverseenstarwars I agree totally. And how are these 15 year olds who can't be responsible for a simple task, suddenly going to morph into capable workers or responsible students at 18?

A child should never be locked in the car so they can't get out themselves. That is dangerous. The 10 year old would be perfectly capable of getting out the car, so I assume a child lock was used so he was locked in. That is stupid.

I have left teens in the car, I wouldn't lock them in and leave them the keys.
In the OPs situation I would leave the keys and make sure the 14 year old knew to lock the car if they had to get out (for the toilet). I would only leave a 10 year old if they were responsible enough to be left the keys.

But DH once locked me in the car by mistake...

OMG yes of course that is fine. I would also leave my 9 or 11 year old in the car while I pop in a shop. But each of them also walk places on their own so what is the difference?

Anyone who doesn't think this is fine, I certainly hope you know that your 14 year old could HAVE a child of their own and be allowed to care for it. Once a kid is past the age where biologically they could make a baby, it seems absurd to say they couldn't be trusted with young siblings for a few minutes in the car ... or at home for a few hours!

Oh gosh yes.

I would leave either of my 15yo twins in charge of their baby sister but I wouldn't leave the 21yo in charge of the dog

If they are sensible and can be trusted and understand some basic rules about emergencies then they would be fine.

I think that what people are forgetting if they say that 14 year olds who cant be left have something wrong with them etc etc is that some haven't been effectively trained to look after a toddler like a child would have in a larger family with big gaps.

I can only say that my 14 atm with no experience of under 9s wouldnt be able to do it for a variety of reasons including a lack of patience, lack of interest, not knowing what to do with a choking toddler etc.

Doubtless if he had a 2 year old sibling etc he would know as I would have leant on him to look after the other children as it would make my life easier and I would have had to.

Saying that some teenagers are mollycoddled compared to the past just isn't true - there's unfortunately lots of child carers in this country but children only learn what they have to do, not what they might possibly be required to do in some random scenario.

The only person who knows the OP's children will clearly be the OP, all the rest of us can only answer for their own children.

I think the OP is asking what the legal position is though. Would she be in trouble if she left the 14 year old in the car with the younger DCs? The answer to that question is definitely no. We obviously can't answer the question as to whether her 14 yo is capable as we don't know the family at all.

When I was 16 I was working with children. I had no really experience before my job. And yes I would have looked askew at a 14 year old that could not have been left for 10 minutes with their siblings.