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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why people call their baby...

570 replies

smellfunny · 15/01/2018 08:20

Not to be goady, but I don't understand why people give their babies names with negative connotations or meanings. Examples from the top of my head being:

Cain (murdered his brother in Old Testament)
Hector (hector also being a synonym for bullying someone)
Tristan (this one is a bit contentious because it can either mean 'tumult' or correspond to 'sadness')

Is it just that people don't think about the meanings behind the names? Feel free to add more names to the list...

Bonus name: 'Claudia' coming from the Latin word for 'lame'. I gave this one a pass because it's so established and the connotation is generally unknown...

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 17/01/2018 19:27

You could call your child the most innocuous name imaginable and there will certainly be people who dislike it or have preconceptions that make them mock it.
Of course. I just think that you don't add anything extra to the mix if you can avoid it. It never crossed my mind, for example, that some of my son's little friends would find it entertaining to call him Patdick. Bur there are names which are obviously going to invite such things and why, as I said, risk making your child's life an inch more difficult than necessary.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 17/01/2018 19:30

why, as I said, risk making your child's life an inch more difficult than necessary

I just struggle to believe that Ophelia would do that, actually. Apart from Mumsnetters thinking her parents were badly educated....

Lalliella · 17/01/2018 19:34

In the town where I grew up there’s someone called Everard Dick (yes really, google him) and there was an urban myth that his sister is called Ophelia. Sorry MrsP!

Finklestein1984 · 17/01/2018 19:34

There's nothing wrong with knowledge for knowledge's sake, I feel I must state.

Knowledge for knowledge's sake is a fine thing

Okay @Seek and @BertrandRussell

  • badly expressed (you wouldn't think I have two degrees in English)

What I mean is knowledge simply for the chance to lord it over others or feel superior. I learn simply for the desire to learn - to broaden my horizons and open my mind. Not so I can feel superior to other people. Not just parroting facts or numbers or making others feel stupid, I learn to enhance my own life not belittle others.

BertrandRussell · 17/01/2018 19:38

Fair enough-I did say Ophelia was marginal!

And I don't think anyone thinks using knowledge to look down on people is a good thing.

FlaviaAlbia · 17/01/2018 19:41

Doesn't that only work in the bubble - for want of a better word - you live in at the time your child is born?

So if for whatever reason you move area/county/country it'll not help?

You can see it on the baby names board - even within a single country in the UK there are massive differences in how names are perceived.

Binkybix · 17/01/2018 19:44

Bertrand I disagree with you on this subject but this quote made me smile:

‘I'm not you know-it's what I really think! If it was snobbery I would feel no need to justify it’

MrsKoala · 17/01/2018 19:50

Yes Flavia. Hector was on our List for DS1 and then after he was born DH was offered a job in the States. I was pleased we hadn't gone for Hector as i felt we'd offend people for cultural appropriation, given it's such a strong Hispanic name over there.

FrancisCrawford · 17/01/2018 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 17/01/2018 20:18

You don't have to to have read the Iiiad to know the story and the characters.

nooka · 17/01/2018 20:33

While people may have some knowledge about Troy and the Iliad I'm not sure that will extend to knowing anything much about Hector or Cassandra, and I suspect more people will think Paris Hilton than Paris of Troy, especially as I suspect most babies called Paris now will be female (confirmed by darker green names.darkgreener.com/#paris).

I was surprised that if you put Helen into Wikipedia Helen of Troy only comes up under 'see also'.

FrancisCrawford · 17/01/2018 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Finklestein1984 · 17/01/2018 20:48

@FrancisCrawford - I don't think you need a degree to read or enjoy the Iliad. You also don't need one to think it's a total bore. Though I have one and I think it's dreary as hell.

I am certainly not one who thinks that literature is elitist - as I have already said I come from a modest background - but take a sample of my friends (many have degrees and many don't) or work colleagues or anyone I know and I can say with some certainty that 80% won't have read the Iliad.

As I have broadened out in previous posts; my actual issue with this whole thread is the implied snobbery of people who assume that if someone has named their child after a tragic Shakespearean hero/ine they must have no idea what the name means or what happens to the character. I don't think that. I think they either don't care or have chosen in spite of or because of the tragic story.

But I still stand by my belief that most people haven't read the Iliad 😋

SumAndSubstance · 17/01/2018 21:07

This thread has really kicked off since I was last here!

I think there's a difference between people who give their children 'normal' names which are common, including common at the specific time like all the Islas, Avas, Evies at the moment, and don't think anything beyond 'that's a nice name' and those who choose very unusual names without thinking about the origins or meaning of that name. If you're going to call your daughter Jocasta, for example, you should at least know what you're doing!

AndTheyLivedHappilyEverAfter · 17/01/2018 21:11

I went to school with Ben Dover. I kid you not.

Finklestein1984 · 17/01/2018 21:14

I'd also point out that I didn't actually say the Iliad was obscure - as others have misread my comment also:

people who criticise names due to some historical/literary/biblical/obscure medical reference are just being pretentious and obnoxious.

I refer to an 'obscure medical reference' the word obscure comes after the list and refers only to the medical connection to Amelia.
This might not be that obscure as plenty of people on here seem to be aware of it but I'd never heard of it before.

affectionincoldclimate · 17/01/2018 21:18

For what it's worth DD has an unusual name which made the news as very young daughter of a famous person who had DD's name died in tragic circumstances last year. It was very eerie reading about it as a result and seeing the name repeated in that context.

Even with a name without obvious connotations you cannot control what people of that name will do as many Adolphs born in late 19th century would attest.

Nikx85 · 17/01/2018 22:32

Depends on where you think the origin is from. My eldest dd for example, we saw the name in a film credit and had never heard of it before and we fell in love with it. It is also a derivetive of my middle name. When i have googled the meaning .. in italian it means precious and loved, irish=sweet melody, and greek means pure.... my second dd has a very unusual old english name, everyone thinks its American! (Its a very 'marmite' name). I think its very 50/50 on how you interperate a meaning and how you feel about a name.

I know a Cain, he was named after a off duty paramedic that saved his and his mothers life when she was in a car crash at 8months pregnant. So to her Cain means strong, Reliable,, trustworthy etc.

The name sarah means pure and happy.... (no offence intended here...but...) i have only ever met 1 sarah/sara that hasn't been a total bitch (i currently know/am acquaintances with 7 sarah/saras and i swear they all have a personality disorder).

I think the population is so large and there are so many names in rotation that the original meaning is often lost or changed by personal opinion.

FrancisCrawford · 17/01/2018 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2018 22:47

And I don't think anyone thinks using knowledge to look down on people is a good thing.

Then how do you justify your judgement that the parents of Ophelia can't be very well educated?

BertrandRussell · 17/01/2018 22:52

Ah-I see the confusion. I don't look down on people who aren't very well educated- I just accept that they aren't very well educated. Education isnnt everything.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2018 23:28

But now you know that the parents of some Ophelias are very well educated and your judgement of them, based on nothing more than their child's name was wrong do you still think badly of them?

Estellanpip · 18/01/2018 00:01

Because they don't care. Simple.
Is it really beyond the realms of possibility or comprehension that a parent would know the origin or meaning of a name and yet still choose it? Surely not!

Passwordfatigued · 18/01/2018 07:58

I agree with previous posters about interpretation of names differing even within the UK... Here in NW northern Ireland Amelia is a strong female name inspired by Amelia Earhart who crossed the Atlantic single handedly in a small plane and landed here in 1932. There are streets and buildings named after her.

Battleax · 18/01/2018 08:01

Because they don't care. Simple.
Is it really beyond the realms of possibility or comprehension that a parent would know the origin or meaning of a name and yet still choose it? Surely not!

If that were widespread and absolute, though,surely we'd have seen a few young Myras during the noughties rash of Mias, Mayas, Lyras, Anyas and so on?

Clearly most people do consider it to some extent.