To be hurt by this

[BlackMirror]

My sister secretly started dating a guy I used to 'date' - I put it in brackets as we got very close (We were intimate once) for over 7 years we were close friebds but there was always a flirty thing too. He was the once who got away for me I guess because it was always bad timing for us to date.

I just wish she had come to me and be upfront and honest and said 'I think I'm developing feelings for him, how would you feel if we went out?' Instead I saw texts from him popping up on her phone. Yet she denies tjem being anymore that friends which really hurts.

God, reading that back we sound like teenagers but she's 40 and I'm 30!

We were really close before they hooked up , now we hardly text or speak. He's blocked me on all social media despite being friends for 7 years and I think he's trying to turn her against me ?

Has anyone experienced anything similar? How do I get over the hurt?

Actually I don’t think you are BU to be weirded out by this.

I would definitely feel the ick factor of my sister was in a relationship with someone I’ve had sex with.

But, if it is a serious relationship then it’s just going to have to be something that you get used to.

And if he turns out to be a turd to your sister then at least you get to say I told you so!

if my sister

We'd really need to hear your sister's side of things, and his, before we could really draw any conclusions. You're not wrong to feel hurt, obviously. But this is highly charged emotional territory, with lots of nebulous 'we were kind of this sort of relationship' stuff, and I suspect there's no one true objective narrative.

Their behaviour doesn't make any sense from what you've posted, so either they're totally irrational or, more likely, there's stuff you either don't know about or don't realise is relevant.

I sympathise, I barely speak to my sister and my brother sometimes says it drives him nuts watching us 'speak different languages' to each other. I sincerely don't know what I've done half the time to piss her off, but it's something that's real enough for her and those in the family who sympathise with her.

Sorry you're feeling hurt. If you do want an answer, you might need to be prepared to hear things you don't like.

YABVU.

I can't even understand what the relationship was with this bloke. On the surface it sounds like you were friends who had sex once or more its hard to tell.

Your DSiS is 40 - why does she need to ask your permission to date this guy, particularly as you probably would have told her that you didnt want her to date him.

The blocking on FB suggests there is a lot more to this than we are getting told.

I agree with Rookie. You say you are in a relationship with someone else anyway, you were FWB but not actually in a relationship, it was a long while ago- why do either of them need to talk to you first before starting a relationship? I don't really get what the problem is since you say you are not laying claim to him- so let them get on with it and wish them well. People block people all the time on FB, especially if they have moved into new relationships. Just concentrate on your own relationship and let him move on.

Your sister is 40. You are 30 and have children and say you are in a relationship & happy. Your attitude doesn't make sense.

It's really isn't nice to sleep with someone your sister has slept with but I can't get Over the fact that the op obviously thought the situation was way more than it was. You can't be friends with benefits with someone you slept with once. It was just a one night stand and they remained friends is more accurate. Yeh they could have said but the op obviously still has feelings for him to call him the one that got away. Be happy for them and move on.