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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have such an aversion to formula?

70 replies

whalewhatsallthisthen · 14/01/2018 09:30

I know I am BU here so I'd quite like reassurance and tips but debate welcome too. Essentially I am currently exclusively breastfeeding my almost 4 month old first born. Will be going back to work when she is about 7 months and DH will be at home with her for another 6 months. We have been feeding her bottles of EBM since she was 2 weeks old but now she often refuses it or only take a couple of ounces.

I am getting in a bit of a tizz about going back to work. Soon the plan is that she'll be on a 4 hour feeding schedule at 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm, 11pm and 3am. I hope the last two feeds might be dropped by then and I can still do the 7am feed myself but realistically the others will be formula or EBM. I am concerned about the latter because I don't think she'll take a bottle and I read that sippy cups should only be used with meals. I have a strong aversion to formula though I know I am being a bit U there.

My questions are 1) is my milk likely to dry up if i only do one feed a day and express twice, 2) do babies take formula from a bottle when they reject EBM and if so why and 3) could I still do EBF on the weekend?

Fourth AIBU to be so worried about feeding formula to a 7 month old or to worry about this so much generally?! It just feels like it's coming around quite quickly now :(

OP posts:

CurlyBlueberry · 14/01/2018 09:46

at seven months, you should be ok, but why the feeding schedule? All the advice nowadays is to feed responsively i.e. when either your baby "asks" for it or you feel you'd like to offer.
yes, have you heard of high lipase in breastmilk? Could this be the issue with yours?
yes

SparkleFizz · 14/01/2018 09:48

Firstly, you’re worrying too much about the prospect of giving formula if giving EBM doesn’t work out. I think you know that.

Secondly, about milk drying up - I went back to work when breastfed DS2 was 13 months (so older than 7 months, I know, but hopefully still a bit relevant). He still had breast feeds at home on demand, in evenings, weekends, etc, and he had cows milk at nursery (rather than formula as he was over 12 months).

My milk supply adjusted to him not feeding during the working day just fine. He self weaned at about 2yrs 9months. So no problems around milk drying up for me.

LadyBunnysWig · 14/01/2018 09:53

Our bodies are all different.
I can still produce milk now and I stopped feeding DS 3 months ago.
You need to learn to go with the flow im afraid. It's all well and good having a plan but you have no idea how it will actually pan out so you need to be flexible to the possibility of your child needing formula.

You have a legal right (I believe) to express at work and have somewhere to store your milk. So if you wanted to, you could express at the times your child would be feeding and that milk can be used for the day aheads feeds. Then at the weekend you're still producing plenty of milk for feeds.

PinkChestnut · 14/01/2018 09:55

My baby is 7 months old and been on formula her whole life. She's super healthy, developing well, and just had her first ever cold last week which she handled and recovered from well.

Feeding schedule might not work, just going by my DD who is fed on demand, there are some days she isn't interested in a bottle for over 4 hours, other days she is crying and hangry in under 2 hours since last feed! It does vary in my experience depending on growth spurts, her mood etc etc

Original poster

whalewhatsallthisthen · 14/01/2018 09:55

I was hoping for a few stories along that line. Gives me some hope. I do know lots of people happily combine feed and I'm sure I'll get over formula aversion in time (I am after all partial to a horlicks at night which is pretty much adult formula after all!). Re schedule that is probably the wrong word. I feed if she wants it before then but use 4 hours as a rough guide as she rarely seems to cue or cry before then but always takes a feed on both sides after 4 hours so I assume she must be hungry. At the moment one extra feed always sneaks in at around 5pm but I am not sure if she is really hungry or just experiencing a bit of evening fussiness so I was thinking of trying to drop that in a few more weeks and see how she is with it. The times also work reasonably well with her naps and I try to feed within an hour of her waking up.

OP posts:

Chienrouge · 14/01/2018 09:57

I had two BF bottle refusers, but it was the bottle they refused, not the milk that was in it. They wouldn’t drink either BM or formula from a bottle.

endofthelinefinally · 14/01/2018 09:58

All my dc were using sippy cups at 7 months. None of them would take a bottle of any description.
You will be giving solids by that stage anyway, and probably getting towards 3 breast feeds a day, one of which could be expressed and given in a cup if necessary.
Dont stress now.
A lot changes between 4 and 7 months.

Chienrouge · 14/01/2018 09:58

As above, we moved straight to sippy cups at 6 months.

TittyGolightly · 14/01/2018 10:00

My friend went back to work when her baby was 8 months old. Baby refused anything but breast milk from the boob. She would have sips of water with meals but wouldn’t drink expressed milk. Made no odds. She just fed very regularly once Mum got home and through the night.

Babies are more adaptable than you think.

Badgerthebodger · 14/01/2018 10:02

Don’t worry about trying to drop a feed now, just feed when she wants it and enjoy being with your baby. A 7 month old is a very different creature to a 4mo! FWIW my 11mo has been formula fed since birth and he’s absolutely fine, in fact he’s a big chunky monkey! You’ll figure it out at the time, I promise everything sort of works itself out

Whizziwig · 14/01/2018 10:03

I went back to work when DD2 was 8 months (only 3 days a week though). I fed morning and evening only on those days for the next 6 months, which was fine. I didn't want to express, she was a bottle refuser (and CMPI to complicate matters) so I sent her to nursery with soya milk in a cup which she had as an afternoon drink. I also have a DD1 who was completely formula-fed from when I returned to work at 6 months. Both ways worked fine.

RicStar · 14/01/2018 10:07

I went back to work at 7 months. I still fed in evening / night / morning. Ds had a couple of bottles of formula in the day - formula as I could not express much ever (hate expressing). He was very reluctant to take a bottle or cup (of anything) so it was a bit of a worry but within a week or so we had both adapted. We dropped night feed at about 10 months (it was not every night earlier) and he lost all interest around a year. He would not take bottle then either - so had bits in a cup and yoghurt / cheese etc. So ime it did work out but even a few days before going back to work i would have said no way. I did same at weekends - so mostly bottles in day but don't think this was necessary but I wanted to keep to the routine.

Whizziwig · 14/01/2018 10:09

Meant to say, she drank her milk out of a sippy cup at nursery even though she'd never done it at home. I've not heard about only using them at meal times. If you're worried about teeth, they are better for the teeth than bottles which many babies are still using at that age. (DD1 had a bottle until she was 2!). Also, both of mine took to weaning very quickly and had reduced some of their milk intake by 7/8 months (both had reflux, which may have made a difference).

Pengggwn · 14/01/2018 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elephant17 · 14/01/2018 10:12

Good luck with baby dropping those last 2 feeds! My 12.5 month baby still screams the house down if he doesn't get his night feed, despite months of sleep training 🙄...

Everyone is different, but breast milk supply usually* increases/decreases as per your baby's/pump's demand. For instance, if you're feeding 'round the clock, your body will produce as much milk as required for that. If you're just giving 2 feeds a day, your body will make enough milk for about 2 feeds a day. If you increase the number of feeds, milk production tends to increase again.

Some babies might take formula but not breast milk from a bottle, probably due to association. Mine didn't like taking either from a bottle 🤷‍♀️ Sometimes the older they get, the more stubborn they become about their preferences! Incidentally, mine finally started accepting a bottle just before his 1st birthday (ie when you're supposed to stop using bottles)! He will take some milk from a 360 cup but not loads.

I've never heard that about sippy cups... why would it make a difference to have them between meal times? The sooner you can get them used to a cup the better, I think! Especially if she'll take more milk from that than the bottle.

grasspigeons · 14/01/2018 10:12

I was able to do 2 feeds a day when I went back to work (morning and bedtime) and mixed it with formula and actual food (went back at 8 months) So I think that you probably will be able to do this.

As for the formula - its just another food - a particularly nutritious and safe food. You will start weaning your baby in a couple of months who will have things like carrots, rice etc and they will start crawling and eating stuff they find on the floor and you will think I cant believe I worried about formula.

Lostwithinthehills · 14/01/2018 10:18

AIBU to be so worried about feeding formula to a 7 month old

Yes, you are being unreasonable. I was forced to feed my DC formula from birth and they are fit, healthy and bright. It isn’t poison.

Elephant17 · 14/01/2018 10:22

Ps if you can't continue breast feeding, she will get used to the formula and be absolutely fine! You've breast fed her this long which is great but she will still be a happy and healthy baby on formula, seriously don't worry about that.

Llangollen · 14/01/2018 10:29

Babies fed on formula from birth are doing just as well as BF babies, are thriving just as well and as as healthy.

A 7 months they need to start eating food anyway

raviolidreaming · 14/01/2018 10:31

Agreed.

Hanuman · 14/01/2018 10:35

Are you having a wobble about handing over to your DH in general and focussing in on this particular issue?

We did the same split as you are planning and it worked out great. Pm me if you want to talk more about it.

yorkshireyummymummy · 14/01/2018 10:37

Yes, you ABU not to want to feed formula. It’s not arsenic ffs.

I find it really upsetting when people talk about formula as if it’s the devils own potion.
My DD weighed 3lb 13 and dropped to 3lb 6 while the midwives bullies me into breastfeeding. DD couldn’t latch on, she was fed by a tube. I never got the “let down” reflex and spent hours expressing a drip at a time.
Cow and gate saved her. She loved it. At 4 weeks old she went from 5.13 to 6.13 in one week. Sh3 was so healthy and grew beautifully.

Not everybody can breastfeed even if they want to. So please, be careful about what you write as it’s so very easy to make people who are feeding formula feel as if they are carp mummies.

Original poster

whalewhatsallthisthen · 14/01/2018 10:37

Thanks all, very helpful and supportive replies and some success stories which is comforting. I kind of hope she does keep waking for a feed at 11pm as I would definitely be able to do that one so then even if she rejected the ebm all day I could give her two breastfeeds a day. Ideally she wouldn't be waking at 3am and even if she did I'd need DH to handle it because I couldn't function well at work on broken sleep (and he needs to know the pain of a disturbed night after 6 months of ear plugs!). Realistically I know formula is fine, my DH was a formula baby and he's sort of all right I suppose , I think I'm feeling guilty about going back to work and clutching on to continued breastfeeding to feel like she's not missing out. I'm also really unsure of the practicalities and whether it's possible that she would reject both EBM and formula which would be a real worry.

High lipase is a really interesting suggestion as I have noticed milk that is more than 2 or 3 days old looks and smells a bit funny. However DH is currently downstairs trying to feed a freshly expressed bottle and it sounds like it's not going that well...

OP posts:

Original poster

whalewhatsallthisthen · 14/01/2018 10:43

Yes Hanuman I think that's it. Feeling like a selfish mummy for going back to work even though I know DH will be great with her and they'll both bond well. Thanks so much, will PM you. Yorkshireyummymummy, I know. I did say in my OP that I know I am being a bit U. Never did I imply it was bad for babies. Just that I personally would much prefer to feed ebm. I'm obviously open to feeding formula for some or all feeds if ebm doesnt work out for us, which is why I'm interested to know if babies always take formula from a bottle in that case (appears not). But just because I prefer to feed my own baby breastmilk doesn't mean I am judging anyone for feeding formula.

OP posts:

ginandnappies · 14/01/2018 10:45

A lot will change between now and then so I wouldn't stress too much. How do you think people cope if they can't breastfeed? They have to feed formula, it's not a poison. My little boy is formula fed from 4 weeks and he's way ahead of his milestones. Not bragging in the slightest but it doesn't do them any damage. I'd focus more on your baby actually taking a bottle/sippy cup so you know they are taking milk. That's more important than where the milk came from x

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