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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not trust men with "male contraceptive pill"

39 replies

PennyBBT · 12/01/2018 18:19

I was reading some articles about the research into a male contraceptive pill. And I thought, that if it were to be released and i was single... I honestly wouldn't trust a guy to take it (even if he said he had) having sex . I mean obvious there's more to protect against than just pregnancy but AIBU having this opinion xx

OP posts:

ClaryFray · 12/01/2018 18:20

I think YABU.

But then I was taught to protect against all things not just pregnancy. So I always used condoms as well as he pill.

PurpleDaisies · 12/01/2018 18:22

Yes, you’re unreasonable to assume all men are unreliable. It would be great if dh could take a pill for our contraception because hormone based ones don’t suit me at all.

I wouldn’t trust a random guy but then I also wouldn’t have sex without barrier contraception without properlh knowing the person and their sexual history.

Situp · 12/01/2018 18:23

I think that in any situation where you will ultimately suffer the consequences it is hard to rely on someone else to take responsibility. i don't think it is a male/female thing.

I would never give responsibility to someone else for something which could have such far reaching implications for me if I could help it.

Now I am married I would be happy with it as DH is far more concerned about having more children after this one than I am so he would be mode motivated than me to get it right.

IJoinedJustToPostThis · 12/01/2018 18:24

I wouldn't either, tbh. Some things are too important to trust to someone else.

I think I read somewhere that trials of a male contraceptive pill were halted because some of the men experienced mood swings so it was unethical to continue. My gast was a bit flabbered at that, I tell you.

specialsubject · 12/01/2018 18:26

I wouldn't worry about this. No such thing.

SoupDragon · 12/01/2018 18:27

I think I would view it more as a way for men to prevent themselves becoming fathers.

In a long term relationship it would be the same level of trust a man puts in the female pill.

As a woman, I would not trust it outside of a long term relationship as ultimately it would be me suffering the consequences of a failure.

stitchglitched · 12/01/2018 18:27

YANBU. I wouldn't hand over responsibility for me not getting pregnant to someone else, the consequences are too great.

SoupDragon · 12/01/2018 18:27

I wouldn't worry about this. No such thing.

At the moment.

Spangles1963 · 12/01/2018 18:28

I thought exactly the same OP when I was reading something about a male contraceptive pill a year or so ago. I'm not saying ALL men would be unreliable,but if you had a one night stand with some random guy,what has he got to lose by saying he's 'on the pill'? There is no way you can prove it,and chances are you'd never see him again,so it's no skin off his nose if you fell pregnant. I know that responsible people practice safe sex,it's not just about preventing pregnancy,so in an ideal world,an accidental pregnancy would not happen. But we don't live in an ideal world.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 12/01/2018 18:30

No, but equally a lot of men don't trust women who say it either which is why they use condoms.

restbiterepeat · 12/01/2018 18:35

No. YANBU.
Not a chance in hell.

MaximumVolume · 12/01/2018 18:39

I agree with SoupDragon it wouldn't necessarily a replacement for female hormonal contraception but does give men more control over their fertility without the intrusiveness of barrier methods.

Original poster

PennyBBT · 12/01/2018 18:42

IJoinedJustToPostThis
I know right.? Of all the side effects of the pill.... god forbjd men deal with that . Oh im not saying all men would lie or whatever. I'm just saying I don't think I'd trust someone too (unless it was long term) x

OP posts:

wakemeupbefore · 12/01/2018 18:43

Most commendable stance, OP; you are responsible for your own contraception. Were every person as sensible as you, we wouldn't have so many apparently un-planned pregnancies, meaning, all children would be born to parents who want them [utopia].

Idontdowindows · 12/01/2018 18:46

Not at all unreasonable. It's not men who suffer the consequences of a contraceptive fail or of lax application of contraceptives.

confusedlittleone · 12/01/2018 18:57

Cause woman never lie about being on the pill and always take properly 100% of the time

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/01/2018 18:58

How many 'happy little accidents' would this prevent?

restbiterepeat · 12/01/2018 19:04

Cause woman never lie about being on the pill and always take properly 100% of the time

This makes no sense. Presumably the women know if they are reliably taking the pill or not. As pp have said, the male contraceptive pill can prevent them from becoming fathers so they can negate the risk of their partner's unreliable use of the pill.

scaevola · 12/01/2018 19:13

"because some of the men experienced mood swings so it was unethical to continue"

Yes, suicide tends to be taken extremely seriously.

Suppressing continuous production takes significantly greater doses than disrupting a once-a-month event. Some men in the trial were absolutely fine, others had very serious side effects such that it was unethical to continue. This isn't 'ah diddums' - it's an important ethical standard.

I wouldn't trust the male pill, because one malabsorbed tablet could lead to restarting sperm production, and once the ampullae are depopulated it can take weeks to clear.

The RISUG/reversible vasectomy looks the most promising potential new male contraception. anyone seen recently how that's getting on?

Love51 · 12/01/2018 19:22

My now DH and then boyfriend asked about this 20 years ago. He is way more sensible and trustworthy than me, also a lot less keen to have babies! We seriously thought that a viable drug would be on the market in a few months. I've had all manner of problems with the pill, but pregnancy hasn't been one of them!
I'd trust my DH, based on years of knowing him. If I were single I wouldn't trust a ONS or FWB.

Glumglowworm · 12/01/2018 19:22

If you can’t trust a guy to take it properly then you should use condoms. Just as if a man doesn’t trust a woman he should use condoms. And everyone should use condoms unless they and partner have been tested anyway.

In a relationship, if you can’t trust him to do something so simple and easy then why be with him at all if he’s so untrustworthy?

restbiterepeat · 12/01/2018 19:28

Not untrustworthy, unreliable. I am the unreliable one in our relationship. I am permanently disorganised, so we used condoms to space out our children and then DH had a vascectomy.

I'm still worth being with though. Yeah, I've got bits and pieces going on

Original poster

PennyBBT · 12/01/2018 19:35

I for example have had horrendous side effects ftom the pill and know many others who have too, seems a little harsh to ethically let women keep taking it and not men etc. X

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 12/01/2018 19:37

penny, medical trials don’t get stopped unless the side effects are serious.

WashingMatilda · 12/01/2018 19:41

There are more men called John who are CEO's of top 100 businesses then all the women combined.

Pretty sure the poor menz can manage to take a ruddy pill.

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