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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen Do

68 replies

BurningStar · 12/01/2018 11:33

So I'm getting married soon and a friend is arranging my hen do 😊

I have no idea what she's planning but I've asked that we do something 'adventurous' e.g. paintballing or a high ropes course. Then some drinks somewhere.

MIL has been asking DP about the hen do and asking who's organising it etc. She has said that she hopes it's not just drinking and that we're doing something in the daytime so that her DD (DP's sister) who is 9 can join in.

Now I don't want to be horrible but isn't MIL BU to expect my hen do to be based around her DD? I know she's going to be too young to do the majority of things. Tbh I think it's cheeky she assumed I'd invite a 9yo!

OP posts:
Kittypillar · 12/01/2018 15:17

This was exactly what I thought @ApproachingATunnel - I didn't invite my MIL to my hen do, I didn't even invite my own mother to be honest Confused not that she wanted to come, she saw it as a fun time out with my friends and my sister and so it wasn't even a question for her...

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 12/01/2018 15:35

I didn't even have mil at our wedding!!Grin

Trinity66 · 12/01/2018 15:41

I don't have a MIl as she died when DH was 13 but my mom didn't come to mine as she had no interest in Hen stuff. My brother is getting married this year and my SiL to be is taking her own mother and mine for afternoon tea as neither have any desire to come to the hen weekend lol

splatattack · 12/01/2018 16:06

Why would a kid go to a hen do?? YANBU..

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2018 16:07

Op hen do sounds like fun, if people don't like it, they don't have to come.

Doobigetta · 12/01/2018 16:46

Hen dos are for grownups. I'm having a mini hen do- afternoon tea- for me, my bridesmaids and their daughters, so they can be involved in something. And I'm having regular mini-mini hen dos, which are just me and my cat trying on my tiara.

Onesmallstepforaman · 12/01/2018 16:54

Paintballs don't hurt if you wear a couple of layers of loose clothing, just don't tell the opposition Smile

DreamyMcDreamy · 12/01/2018 18:04

I can see why MIL, as some people do invite (adult!) family members to their hen do.
NOT kids though, your MIL is batshit to think otherwise!
Oh, and your message is far too wishy washy, could be taken two ways or wheedled around.
Straight to the point message "Sorry, but hen do is for adults only, how about a meal on another day for 9 year old instead?"

MidnightAura · 12/01/2018 18:36

Who the hell wants a 9 year old at a hen do?

That’s as crazy as the post on here ages ago about the woman who wanted to take her toddler on a hen do.

MsSquiz · 12/01/2018 18:49

One per of my hen do was to go for afternoon tea and included MIL and SIL who don't drink and don't really share any of my interests (my main hen do was a dance class, meal, cocktail making and drinks)

It worked out really nice as DH has a cousin who is 13 and meant she could come along and be part of the group.

Would you be against doing something like that with immediate family, I bet his sister would love to be included

GrooovyLass · 12/01/2018 19:05

My friend had about 4 different hen parties, one of which was an afternoon tea for her DM, future MIL, sisters (including then 13yo) and future SILs (including then 10yo).

I personally went to a weekend away with horrific and probably poisonous homemade cocktails and dreadful shenanigans but I thought that was a lovely compromise.

anothersuitcase · 12/01/2018 19:50

Why not ask moh what she's planning? Or did you want a surprise? I did High Ropes at my hen do and it was fab. My 9-year-old sister was there and she loved it (I know, weird coincidences!) Then me and the other hens went and got rat arsed had a meal and she went home and watched Tracy Beaker. No issues at all. But if you don't want her there, fair enough, it's your hen do.

MidniteScribbler · 12/01/2018 21:33

I'm going against the grain here and saying that I would probably do something in the afternoon that MIL and SIL could attend, then go on to cocktails and partying with the adult friends in the evening.

SoozC · 12/01/2018 22:17

I went to the Harry Potter Studio Tour with a hen do last year and the three younger bridesmaids - aged 8-11 - came too. But then they went home and the rest of us went clubbing. It was nice they were involved for a bit, then we had the adult part.

newmomma9 · 12/01/2018 22:26

Tell your MIL there'll be too many inflatable willies floating around so you can't possibly have a 9 year old in attendance. Hopefully she won't want to come either then!

FluffyWuffy100 · 12/01/2018 22:28

And I'm having regular mini-mini hen dos, which are just me and my cat trying on my tiara

Amazing! 😂

waterlily200 · 14/01/2018 21:52

Any response?

AlexaAmbidextra · 15/01/2018 00:54

I'd happily go to a hen do with a cat and a tiara. Grin

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