To ask your view on the Radfords?

[Emlou07]

Sat with my morning coffee watching 20 kids and counting. Listening to my two children fighting over a toy, wondering how on earth that many children can get enough/equal love and attention?!

(I know it’s none of ‘our’ business how many children people have.. but when you put yourself out there, obviously people will have an opinion)

I would have loved a big family and I am fascinated by really large ones so follow them all on social media. I really liked the Radfords up until the 19 Kids show when it seemed to show a different side. Before they seemed chaotic but happy and fun, but the last two showed the children saying they didn't get any peace, couldn't have any privacy, didn't want to even be at home and Sue is still going on about how the kids all love it. Noel came across as a control freak, claiming Sue was a sex pest and how he had to close the windows as she was a screamer I got really uncomfortable vibes from him and Sue was giggling away like a teen. People have often said she has SEN which I didn't think, but she seems to get more immature as time goes on.

I do feel for their children the way so much has been said across the media, but they keep complaining about it and then they are in the rag the next week. Many of the comments are "not them again, they are featured here every other week..."

There is already a really long thread about the Radfords
here OP with over 700 posts...

Have you seen this current thread, OP. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3128923-will-you-be-watching-20-Kids-and-Counting-tonight

There are often abuse problems in families like this (what was that US lot where the older brothers abused the younger sisters and the family closed ranks? Duckers? Diggers?). Not least abuse of the mother, who is usually being controlled by her husband to a greater or lesser extent.

Gosh I have 4 and people make out I have "loads" and a "football team" let alone 20.

Because it wasn't an issue then.

It was 1988 not the dark ages. Of course a child of 13 in a sexual relationship with a 17/18 year old was an issue.

When I was a child there were more large families. Some were great. Very close, with mothers who would even look after other peoples kids as well as her own. One of those homes where anyone was welcome to come and eat or stay overnight.
Some women just thrive on 'mothering'.... and some are not maternal with just one or two kids.
Too many women now are judgemental about women who actually like having lots of kids and see mothering as a lifestyle choice.

Jassmells
Thanks.....I stand corrected.

Their were still Countries with the marriage age of 13 and the press were celebrating the era of the 'Wild Child' (underage girls who were out clubbing/shagging. Mandy Smith was 13 and dating Bill Wyman 47.

I don't remember it as 'celebrating'. Lots of press coverage but certainly no approval.

I would love to know then how they afford to live then, I’m expecting No2 and we are only just managing every month with mortgage, bills, food, dodgy car ect...

Everyone is entitled to child benefit!

Not anymore! There's a cut off now.

I think the parents have some serious issues which should have been addressed before they brought 20 children into the world. It's not normal to have that many kids, no matter what anyone says.

I felt sorry for the kids after watching 20 Kids. The boys especially seemed really unhappy about the lack of privacy. I felt sad for Chloe I think it was, who dropped out of uni to work in the pie shop. She seemed happy enough but I wonder if she will come to regret dropping out of uni later on.

I also hate the way they enforce gender stereotypes. The girls are expected to help look after the younger siblings whilst the boys are expected to do naf all. It's one thing to expect all the older kids to pitch in but it seems like it's just the girls with that expectation on them and the boys can get away with doing a bit of token housework every now and then.

It's a very unhealthy set up imo. Not that anything can be done about it now. I just feel sad for the kids really. I hope they don't have anymore.

Still time for 5 more I reckon making the total 25.

Too many women now are judgemental about women who actually like having lots of kids and see mothering as a lifestyle choice.

Lots of kids is 4/6 by today's standards.

20 was excessive back in the 1800s.

And yes, I'm happy to judge.

I will never be OK with the idea of a 17 year old impregnating a 13 year old, and it bothers me that people dismiss any concerns raised about this with arguments along the lines of "oh it was normal then" (it wasn't) and "but they've stayed together and had 19 more kids" (uh, yes?)

I think having 20 children is selfish. I don't believe you can meet the needs of that many children. You can provide food, clothing and shelter, but you cannot meet their emotional needs. I only have 3 dc- one of them is under CAMHS and has a lot of issues wrt schooling, and I feel ridiculously stretched to do all that needs to be done regarding this and be a half decent parent to my other dc and have a job and so on and so on. If just one of the Radford children has additional needs, meeting them whilst parenting 15+ other children effectively will be impossible.

I think the family misrepresent their finances and wish they would not do so. I think they exploit their children for publicity (and very likely for money/ goods/ holidays) and wish they would not do that.

I find the sexism in the family distasteful. I don't see anything to suggest that the children are encouraged to attain as much as they can, to branch out, to build their own independent, successful lives, and find that sad.

Mostly everything about them makes me feel a bit sad. I wish them all well, of course, but I don't understand why people celebrate them.

"Because it wasn't an issue then.
It was 1988 not the dark ages. Of course a child of 13 in a sexual relationship with a 17/18 year old was an issue."

I'm re-watching the classic Coronation Street from 1987. Jenny (14) is being encouraged to date Martin (18) by all the Adults around her including Step mum Rita. She is also singing in Clubs after school.

Watch 'it was alright in the 80's', you will see the sexualisation of school girls. One show had a eight year old as a Bunnygirl. Mini Pops was on, which we would now look at differently.

You can't expect two kids growing up in care to question and go against what was the norm in their environment. They met as Primary school children and both longed for a stable family, it was great, but it's understandable.

Too many women now are judgemental about women who actually like having lots of kids and see mothering as a lifestyle choice.

It's not just women who have kids. Men play a role in the whole making a baby thing too you know.

I judge both of them and I think having that many kids is irresponsible.

They disturb me and I can't put my finger on why.

How in Christ's name is having 20 children beneficial for the children?! Selfish pair who are depriving their kids of an actual childhood by making them live in baby sitters.

I think comparison with the Duggers is unfair. The Duggars are very religious, have a large family because god says so and home school so their children aren't exposed to the real world. The Radfords whilst there is much to criticise, seem to live like a relatively "normal" family albeit a big one.

I come from a family of 7 which was unusual even in the 60s, most of my friends were from families of 2-4. We had a poor but happy upbringing - no real benefits back then so both parents worked or took in work at home (sewing etc).

I’d be interested to know if they could name every child’s best friend, favourite food and current interest ie Pokemon/Lol dolls etc or music choice etc for the older ones. I don’t see they have time to actually get to know their kids.

I like the Radford's. There are a LOT worse families out there. And there is no hiding the fact that they do ALL love each other. Criticise the disfunctinal families with four kids with four different father's or the kids that set off for school in the morning stinking of dope because mum and dad think that's acceptable. There are thousands of tales of downright disgusting parental behaviour to choose from on here and I know which family I would choose to belong to if I were a child.

Ugh. That's all.

Wax I would have said it was unfair too, however they do have similarities. They both adhere to gender stereotypical roles with the eldest daughter being used as a 'sister mom' and there is a massive case of denial in both of the women. Both claim that the children all love having lots of siblings and want more, but the children say different. The Duggar children have a lot less freedom to say how they feel though.

I just think her pelvic floor must be fucked

She'll keep popping them out while the TV company is still commissioning series. Last 5 kids are basically funding the family.

There was a thread about this only on here last week