Wwyd nc sibling?

[Nolaughingmatter]

Please help me. Two siblings have fallen out. Both siblings think they did nothing wrong. One chose to go nc last year citing the others behaviour. This nc sibling sent a Christmas present to their nephew. Present hasn’t been rejected or refused but left uncollected at the post office. The child is lower end of primary if it makes any difference.

Would you collect or reject the parcel?

Eliza
About my mother, who was in hospital having a planned operation and he could see her more often than me. They’ve stopped now. She’s out.

And emails about a business dealing that I hope to finally conclude soon. But it’s dragging. I didn’t go into business with him. It was stuff given to us to share between us. Dh communicates if necessary. But no more than necessary.

It wasn’t necessary to answer my brother about the hospital texts for example as I was in contact with the nursing staff directly. He can then be seen to be the golden child with my mother and me the unreasonable one for not answering the texts.

My mother even asked me if my brother should text me when she was in and I categorically told her that no, I would speak to the hospital. I’m the family scapegoat and even this wish was ignored.

LesMes
Good point.

Gumbo
When we were nc with them the first time over the dog bite, I didn’t know whether or not to accept the gift. I didn’t do it out of greed. I took it because I would have been bad daughter and bad sister. And it stopped the nastiness from my mother.

I can see what you mean about greed though.

They didn’t send dd a present btw. Didn’t stop my brother from texting me to tell me my cousin had left a present at the hospital for me.

Sil decided my dd is persona non gratis a while back. I just am a bit slow to catch up. Dds birthday card was late. Brother works away and asked her to do it (message from mother). She didn’t and so it came late. WRT sil not liking dd. Basically the situation is she doesn’t like my mother so she projects this onto me and now dd in her turn as she tries to avoid doing it to my mother. In her more lucid moments, she apologised and said as much. Yet continued in the same vein. Much alcohol consumed obvs.

With a step back, it was bound to happen. I didn’t take nc lightly. This has been a long time coming. I did it for physical threat as I can no longer defend myself or get away.

Sorry some of that was to lurking

They sound like horrible people. Isn't your child best cut off from them too? Let the cousins sort it out when they are 16 or older. I see my place (also the initiator of NC, but like my other sisters who I am per to) as protecting my children from the sister who we have all cut off. We would have had to cut off her children too but she was a poor mother and lost custody of them to their grandparents.

*who I am close to. Not 'per'

We are NC with a family member: at the start they sent DS a gift for his birthday via another relative: I told them we didn't want anything from them at all and handed it back to this relative. You don't say what happened between you to go NC, but in our case what this relative did to us also has a negative impact on our children, and for that alone the DC are also NC.

Lurking
Yes. I need now to take a big step back. I know what it is like to have narcissistic parenting so I have guilt with taking that step. Yet there is nothing I can do. I had to save my child and myself. I cannot save everyone. I also think he knows he is loved so he has a big advantage over my childhood.

Piffle
I did. See my post 7.23. This was the last straw. Yet it was just one of many, which should have been the last straw.