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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how often you go out and do something for yourself?

44 replies

BibbleBabble777 · 11/01/2018 14:30

Just that really. I'm curious how much people find time for socialising and exercise etc in amongst family/work/house/sleep...

OP posts:

Afreshcuppateaplease · 11/01/2018 14:31

I had a hair cut about two years ago

ladystarkers · 11/01/2018 14:32

I try and go out once a month with Dh. Im not the best person to answer as I have4 dcs at school but a few chrinic health issues.

MavisPike · 11/01/2018 14:33

every day

MalcolmsBrokenWalrusMoneybox · 11/01/2018 14:34

Me too, afresh, I'm planning to visit the hairdresser again this year, maybe even this quarter!
I sometimes do an exercise dvd when the kids are sleeping squabbling in their beds

Cath2907 · 11/01/2018 14:37

I had a haircut Oct 2016.....

Idontdowindows · 11/01/2018 14:38

Daily, really. And himself and I go to the pub once or twice a week as well.

Capelin · 11/01/2018 14:40

I have three DC, all at school, and I work part time (three days a week) so I do get some time to myself.

I try to go for a run once a week. I meet a friend for coffee maybe once or twice a month. I go out in the evening (with or without DH) also maybe once or twice a month (more in Dec... less in Jan!).

It’s much easier now than when I had three DC under four!

InDubiousBattle · 11/01/2018 14:41

Quite a lot really. Two mornings a week for 3 hours both my dc go to pre school and I usually spend one of those mornings in a cafe or mooching around charity shops. At least one night a week I go out, either for a meal or drinks with family or frI ends, usually a week night. Maybe once a month/six weeks I'll have a bigger weekend night out with my friends. Every now and then I meet my dad to watch some jazz on a Sunday lunch or do some shopping on my own.

SagelyNodding · 11/01/2018 14:41

I think about this a lot. I carve out 2x30ish minutes per week to go for a run, and 2x30ish minutes to go to physio... That is it!
I cut my own hair, shop for clothes with the kids in tow, spend time with my friends yep, but with the kids-they've pretty much grown up together so I don't really mind. We have a few nights out every year without children too...
But it would be truly lovely to have more 'me' time!

WhatHaveIFound · 11/01/2018 14:41

Probably once a week on average. This week i've had coffee with a friend and been out to a birthday meal. Next week will be a quiet week as DH is working away so i'm in sole charge of DC.

CMOTDibbler · 11/01/2018 14:45

I go running (with the dogs) or swimming a few times a week. That's it. But I do travel for work, so get time to read a book on the plane.

Whirlytastic · 11/01/2018 14:46

Lots. 30 mins with coffee and a book in my lunch-hour at work a couple of days a week. Lunch quite often at my local cafe by myself on Fridays when I'm not working. Most weeks I have something planned by myself or with friends - last Fri I went to an exhibition, this week I went to the theatre with a friend one evening. Next month I have a work conference to go to, and will treat the journey there and back as time for me. In March I've booked a weekend away to do an activity I've wanted to do for ages.

I have two DC in school and work three days a week. One of my DCs is severely disabled, which is time-consuming for all sorts of reasons. But still, I seize time for myself whenever I can. And I have no guilt about it!

athingthateveryoneneeds · 11/01/2018 14:48

I went for a run this morning but I was pushing a buggy and had the dog tied to my waist so I'm not sure if that counts.

I regularly leave my DC to play together while I mumsnet read in the next room, though.

Littlebitshort · 11/01/2018 14:48

Almost everyday. Usually a coffee with a friend, a visit to the shops or a nice long walk. Im scared to join the gym, have given up zumba and hate spending money in the hairdressers. Im not really girly so dont use salons and i havent got a hobby either. Weekends are family time so its all about the child really and evenings its sorting child out, then when hubbys back from work im off to work....then dinner, telly, bed. This is only possible as right now i have free time between school drop off and pick up which gives me a good 5 hours to do as i please.

gillybeanz · 11/01/2018 14:49

Every day, it's important.
It's not exercise or something like a chore though, it's fun things.
I have lots of interests and hobbies and do something either before going to work or when I get back.
I only work pt though and have no little ones at home.
I have always tried to make time for myself though and dh always used to prioritise this for me when kids were small.

Original poster

BibbleBabble777 · 11/01/2018 15:15

I'm asking because I'm getting my life back after years of dealing with a chronic health problem when I focused on family and work.

So I'm trying to work out what is reasonable. DCs aren't used to me being out apart from for work, so they complain - ie if I'm not there for bedtime (they can get themselves sorted, it's just that they like/are used to having me there).

The reason I thought about posting was I'd realised I had two things on next week and my immediate thought was I'd need to cancel one of them...

OP posts:

stickytoffeevodka · 11/01/2018 15:32

Everyday.

InDubiousBattle · 11/01/2018 16:04

How old are your dc? Do you have a partner?

Marcine · 11/01/2018 16:12

Book club once a month (I miss bedtime).
Before baby 3 was born me and do would go out together once a month, hopefully we can restart soon now dc3 will have a bottle.
I get my nails done about every 3 weeks but have switched to someone coming to me for childcare reasons, so not totally relaxing!
Haven't had a haircut for about 2 years though

Marcine · 11/01/2018 16:14

I often have two things in a week, eg PTA ( not counting that as me time!) and book club, DP can manage bedtime.

monkeywithacowface · 11/01/2018 16:17

Quite a bit to be honest. Some weeks more than others. Sometimes it's just an hour to myself other times it might be a weekend away with friends. I wouldn't cancel one of your plans next week

MotherWol · 11/01/2018 16:26

I figure I'm doing well if I get a night out with my friends once a month. I exercise in my lunch breaks, and almost alway have a full hour to myself then. DH and I often have lunch together during the week as we work in the same place. My pre-baby hobbies (cycling and horse riding) have suffered as I can't do them as regularly as I'd liked, so I'm having to find new hobbies that are more flexible.

scaryteacher · 11/01/2018 16:37

Had a haircut today; had a night in a hotel and dinner with dh on Saturday (whilst doing a 1400km round trip to the UK to drop people off post Christmas). Am hoping to be taken out for dinner on Saturday night, or breakfast on Sunday as it's my birthday this weekend. Will be going out for coffee with a friend tomorrow.

Oblomov18 · 11/01/2018 16:52

Often. Most weeks. Most weekends.

Staggered that you would think of cancelling because of 1 things.
This is so sad. why are your children so clingy. Why have you allowed them to get to this stage, of not wanting you to go out? You are a person in your own right.

Mine love it when I go out and compliment me on looking lovely.

Original poster

BibbleBabble777 · 11/01/2018 17:05

Useful to hear others' experiences.

There is other stuff going on which I don't want to get into here, which would explain their clinginess. There is a DH.

The reason I haven't gone into more detail is because I wanted to find out how people managed this part of their lives.

What you're all saying makes me think my DCs expect/need my presence more than others might because of said Stuff.

OP posts:

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