Endo isn't a 'real' thing though is it?

[Arkangel]

Said by my SIL. AIBU to be offended and to think this is a very uneducated opinion?

My endometriosis is painful and I haven't had an 'attack' in a good couple of months. So today I've been laid on the couch with a hot water bottle applying for jobs and stuff, I have an interview this afternoon and have been to two other positive interviews this week. I'm in a relatively high level of pain but I'm so used to it it doesn't particularly effect what I'm doing as long as I listen to my body and don't overdo it.

SIL visited this morning with my brother, who was picking up the pressure washer and then helped himself to a sandwich, and she came out with that little pearl. Like I'm not making enough effort to get a job because I'm on my Couch, in my House...

The conversation literally went from the new set of mugs I have (they are beautiful) to "you know you'll struggle for work if you're like this" gestures with hand at my abdomen "do you think that's why they sacked you"...
Me: " um, no. Endometriosis has never affected my job unless I have to take time for scans or operations and I haven't had either in the last three months"
Her with this fake sympathy expression "but it's not a real thing though is it? Like, biologically you're not on your period. Do you think it's just in your head because I've never seen you take painkillers so it can't be that bad. Maybe just try to be positive and ignore it and it'll go away"

WHAT??????

(I won't drip feed, SIL is awful, she thinks so much of herself and really she has no right to because she's not all that at all, i don't like her and she has a habit of snarky comments at me knowing that I wouldn't tell my brother)

I'm sorry I'm dumping on you all again but it's so much easier to post here than, I don't know, throw a vase at her head. I've been out of work four days!!!

OP, you know not to listen to her.

But you could point out to her that biologically, it is like you're on your period because you have tissue inside you that is bleeding. It just has nowhere to go.

I have endo OP and I am crippled. I use a tens machine, morphine at times, along with co dydramol and mefenamic acid. My last flare up I’m just getting over. Even on all the drugs and a tens machine I was barely coping at work. But I was coping.

It’s not a imaginary thing, it is a medical issue just the same as any other.

for you and for people’s lack of knowledge and commenting on things they don’t know about.

My endo literally feels like a barbed wire fire ball is rolling around in my stomach and every time I breathe or move it moves. Coupled with contraction like pains.

I love the suggestion of stabbing her in the tummy for 2 weeks to know what it feels like

OP I've just got back from food shopping,when I get 2 minutes, I'll PM you the name of the support group I admin, I'm not on it much but I will get a notification so I can add you, a great bunch of women who are SO supportive, it's reminded me I need to check in an see how everyone is

So I'll message you soon :)

That's a wow! And hard stare, you don't need to explain it. Silly sheltered child. Buy her an idiots guide to google for her birthday (if anything). And tell all and sundry with a light laugh. What a silly child, never heard of endo. Make eye contact when laughing about it.

I hate the wasted time for scans, especially as if I'm having an attack they really, really fudging hurt.
Mine are because my doctor is convinced I had PCOS like my Mum but it's not.

I just thought my womb was murdering me since i was 15. I won't for a second say it's as bad as some people's, though painkillers don't touch my pain and co-drydamol makes me violently sick, I literally take Zapain and cocodamol as a comfort, like if I take it it might make a difference.

It's hugely affected my relationship, (I mean, how many times can you look at your DP trying to hide his disappointment because you're bleeding AGAIN) and she's off in lalaland talking to my mother probably bitching about what a failure I am.

--My mother, who had a hysterectomy at 30 for PCOS who thinks she now had endo too but it's cured, since I got my diagnosis...

This thread has done so much for me today. Thank you everyone.

Also, lots has happened in the space of getting Home and filling a hot water bottle!!!

I told DP too (we aren't really "texting" but I needed to leave a key for him and he asked if I'm ok) and my brother text me this:

^Good luck in interview xxx sorry about X I didn't know she upset you. Do you want me to talk to her? Hope things are ok with you and DP now?

Me: did he text you. It's still the same.
Don't talk to her, it's fine. Interview was good.
^
Then SIL text:

Heyyyy. Are we ok?

You'll be proud to know I IGNORED HER!!!

I hurt so much but I feel so powerful

Bloody well done ignoring her 👍 keep it up, and well done to your brother too.

Well done for ignoring her,I wouldn't respond either
She'll have your brother on at her and she'll be thinking it was just a little misunderstanding

Btw I've finally sent you a PM :)

Heyyyyyy!
Go fuck yourself!

An old friend of mine had endometriosis and I’ll never forget one A level lesson; I’d been talking to her normally, then looked away to write some notes and when I looked back, she was white. Like, seriously white, clutching her pen, and another friend took her to the bathroom to be sick.
She had a hysterectomy at 25 and the tissue had spread to her bowels and bladder.
25. Bloody 25. Her uterus also had some fissure or sth, so it’s unlikely she’d have had kids, but still.

Balls to your SIL.

Jaysus wept what a horrible woman!!! I'venot suffered with it myself, but my sister is currently on injections to stop her cycle,and is potentially looking at needing HRT, and then medications to counteract the side eefects of the HRT at the age of 21. She's frequently bedridden with hers (she collapses then is wiped and weak for a few hours after, usually has vomiting fits in the hours afterwards too, just to add insult to injury), and she's FAR from the dying swan type.

Anyone who suffers from it has my every sympathy, and if a colleague or relative voiced they were suffering the ill effects of it, I'd be there with a cuppa and anything else they needed, not making snidey remarks like that!! for everyone cursed with it.

What a horrid, horrid woman.

I have endo and wouldn’t wish it on worst enemies when it flares up . And sometimes when it’s not flared up either!
(Loving the suggestions )

Heyyyy. Are we ok?

"Of course. After all, I'm not in excruciating pain and bleeding heavily all the time because endometriosis doesn't exist, right?"

Or you could just tell her to go swivel.