To think dd isnt getting spoiled by this

[Edinburghlass1991]

Long story short ds 2 has had many problems since birth that has caused a lot of worry and stress. Dd5 has been great with it but still has suffered. Ive booked a hotel room about an hr away for me and her to have some time alone without my son which does seem mean but he wont even notice and ny dh will be with him.
My plan is to bring dvds junk food and go out for dinner and breakfest. She will have a full 24 hrs where it will be all about her and she can choose something to do.
Ive told some friends all have told me she will grow up spoiled. Aibu

Ignore your friends, it's a wonderful thing to do with your DD. I fondly remember the times me and mum went away together (one of the best times was when we went on a walking holiday together and she told me so many stories from her childhood, it was an amazing bonding experience), just the two of us - wasn't the same situation as your family is in but I had four brothers so a lot of competition for my parents' attention so any time I got one on one with one of them was special.

Enjoy your night with your DD.

Find some better friends.

We often arrange 1:1 time/daytrips with each parent for our two children.

I have a sister 2 yrs younger than me with SN. It is so important to spend this time with your daughter. Our family circumstances didn’t really allow for this sort of thing but I used to go to my grandmother’s house specifically to ‘get spoiled’ during half-term. It was an acknowledgement that I had to help out at home by being extra independent and extra well-behaved because of my poorly sister. My parents letting me know explicitly that they recognised and appreciated that my sister’s condition also affected my life was hugely important.

I did, occasionally, resent dsis & the attention she got, but those feelings were rare & we have a great relationship as adults. I think the efforts my parents made to recognise me helped hugely in this. They couldn’t change the demands of our family life and I would be overlooked frequently in the daily hubbub but it didn’t become a big deal because they acknowledged it. It can be hard to be the sibling of a child with sn & your dd needs your permission to feel that.

Also, all children need to feel liked by their parents. It is possible to feel loved but not to feel especially liked or as though your company is enjoyed. What better way to feel that your mum likes you? You know full well that you are not BU. You may need better friends though.

Ive told some friends all have told me she will grow up spoiled

some friends...

What odd friends you have!

It’s not spoiling a child to give them an occasional treat day. It’s a lovely thing to do, having a sibling with health or other issues can be very difficult so its great to take her and spend quality 1:1 time with her where neither of you will be distracted by DS or anything else.

Do your friends never take their children on holiday or to theme parks or anything like that? It’s exactly the same principle!

It sounds like a memory she will treasure forever

GetOffTheTableMabel
Thank you for shareing i hope dd feels the same when shes older

What strange ideas your friends have.

That's a lovely idea for you and DD. Have a great time!

My oldest child has a lot of additional support needs and I feel my youngest misses out at time on quality time with me because if it. I am frequently having to go to meetings on my days off so he misses toddlers etc. I think what you have done is fantastic your eldest child will not be spoiled because her mum wanted to give her some quality time she will be happy.

You need to ignore your friends most people have very little concept of how having an additional needs child impacts on the whole families day to day life. I have started allocating dates in my diary to take my youngest to toddlers and unless it’s an emergency or sickness we go. My experience of kids who have siblings that need extra help is they are very loving, supportive and incredibly understanding of other children and grow up to be lovely adults.

Ah i had kids youngish ( am 26) so most dont have kids yet.

The sound jealous... of a 5 year old girl. They dont seem to understand or have any empathy for you. Ignore them then find new friends

I think it's a lovely idea, Edinburgh, I still remember the very rare but really enjoyable times away with my mum - out of range of three very noisy, full-on bothers!

*brothers

Oh yes, Most parenting 'experts' don't have children

I think it sounds like a lovely idea. You're friends are idiots. Have a great time!

I think it sounds lovely and like you're a great mum.

This is a wonderful idea. I think im going to steal it and book a night away for me and my eldest!

Sounds fantastic have a great time.

What a wonderful idea you sound like a fantastic mum

I think she’ll really remember it and it will make you very close when she grows up. What a lovely lovey idea.

Your friends are jealous or just have no clue.

Edinburgh we had this with our daughter until recently. Everyone saying 'she will be fine!' and us knowing that wasn't the case. Is your son un-diagnosed? Our daughter was until recently (officially still is - although that should change very soon!) but as soon as we could put a name to her difficulties people now all of a sudden appreciate that she won't catch up or that she isn't just slow.

If your daughter is like mine, she will complete dote on her little sibling and help out lots, but will also love the time away from it all and getting 1 to 1 time with you.

I try and make time for my children separately. I think it's important for them as they are different people with different interests etc and sometimes they just need your undivided attention.

Go for it and have a wonderful time!

It sounds lovely I have always done seperate special occasional treats with my Dc including nights away for concerts etc they are adults and certainly not spoiled, your friends are talking rubbish enjoy your night away children need 1 to1 time imo