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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dd isnt getting spoiled by this

73 replies

Edinburghlass1991 · 11/01/2018 11:41

Long story short ds 2 has had many problems since birth that has caused a lot of worry and stress. Dd5 has been great with it but still has suffered. Ive booked a hotel room about an hr away for me and her to have some time alone without my son which does seem mean but he wont even notice and ny dh will be with him.
My plan is to bring dvds junk food and go out for dinner and breakfest. She will have a full 24 hrs where it will be all about her and she can choose something to do.
Ive told some friends all have told me she will grow up spoiled. Aibu

OP posts:
Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 11/01/2018 12:05

Yes we often take turns to go out with her but not overnight and dh would love to do it to with her!

OP posts:
maddnessintheroost · 11/01/2018 12:06

Sounds lovely - how can a rare occasion like this be spoiling her

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 11/01/2018 12:06

What arses they sound! It sounds great. I want to do it too!

Lweji · 11/01/2018 12:06

Even without your DS and his problems, they are silly.

Of course she won't be spoiled.

It's fine for parents to take one child at a time, one to one. to do things that they specifically enjoy.

Blackteadrinker77 · 11/01/2018 12:07

I can't believe anyone would think children are being spoilt by spending one on one times with their parents.

We've always done it and my kids are in their 20s now and are not spoilt. They are all hard working.

Trinity66 · 11/01/2018 12:07

They havent really understood my sons problems and dismiss them by saying he will be fine when he wont

they don't really sound like very nice people your friends :(

nutnerk · 11/01/2018 12:08

Spoiled would be doing that every time she gets upset, but doing it as a treat to say 'thank you for being patient while we give attention to your brother' is a lovely, generous thing to do.

FooFighter99 · 11/01/2018 12:08

I would so love to do this!!

It will NOT spoil your DD at all, please don't take any notice of your "friends" as they have no idea what they are talking about Angry

Have a fantastic time OP Smile

letsdolunch321 · 11/01/2018 12:13

Sounds like the friends are not supportive & possibly jealous!!

letsdolunch321 · 11/01/2018 12:13

Enjoy, have a fab time.

MissP103 · 11/01/2018 12:14

Yanbu, sounds lovely op. She's 5yo and I can imagine how something like this will stick with her as one of the best days. Ignore those who are saying she will be spoilt.

Hullabaloo31 · 11/01/2018 12:14

My 2 have no additional needs but I still make sure I take the older one out by himself every now and then.

My youngest gets days with just me on my non-work days when eldest is at school, and it's just nice for eldest to have a day where things aren't scheduled around naps, nappy changes, less flexible meal times and age-restrictions. We just go out and do some stuff that's tricky with a little one in tow. I think it's important for them both to get one-to-one time.

HamishBamish · 11/01/2018 12:15

I think it's a lovely idea and of course your DD won't be spoilt by it. I can't imagine what has possessed your friends to make such a comment.

Megs4x3 · 11/01/2018 12:17

As you say, your friends don't understand the situation regarding your son, so they don't understand the situation regarding your daughter. Ignore them, have a lovely time the two of you and next time, don't tell your friends anything. You and your DH sound like wonderful, caring and sensitive parents. So sorry to hear about the difficulties with your little boy.

JenniferL90 · 11/01/2018 12:22

I think it sounds fabulous. And even without a little brother with SN would be a wonderful thing to do maybe once or twice a year and won't spoil her at all. Or at least, not in a bad way!

AstridWhite · 11/01/2018 12:23

That sounds perfect and she deserves it. Have a lovely time. Your friends are being ridiculous.

pinkhorse · 11/01/2018 12:24

How lovely! Enjoy every second Smile

Situp · 11/01/2018 12:28

Regardless of additional needs of siblings, I think it is a great thing to give kids these sorts of experiences.
We are having DC 3 next month and DH is taking DS1 to London for a few days to visit family and go to museums. Giving children these sorts of time periods reassures them that they are important and can also give them time to talk to you about things which they wouldn't normally feel able to

Newtothis2017 · 11/01/2018 12:29

Sounds wonderful. Hope you and your dd enjoy it

Underparmummy · 11/01/2018 12:32

YANBU. It can be hard being the kid thats ok.

Your friends are mad.

GreenTulips · 11/01/2018 12:32

There are 2 camps

Parents who can still be independent and parents who absolutley MUST do everything as a family .... can't possible go on their own or be without another grownup in tow

Go and enjoy and when they say 'you're spoiling her' say 'yes I am we all deserve to be spoilt occasionally

glenthebattleostrich · 11/01/2018 12:33

My DD is an only child and we do this once a year.

Both parents working full time, School, hobbies, life in general often get in the way so it's lovely to spend time just the 2 of us.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 11/01/2018 12:35

It sounds a lovely idea, ignore negative comments from your friends. The anticipation will be a boost almost as much as the actual event.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/01/2018 12:36

My dd is an only child. She gets 1-2-1 with me or with dh all the time. She must be terribly spoiled then. 🙄

Parents taking alone time with each child when they can so that they are an individual, not a mass known as “the kids” is time well spent imo. It is especially important for your dd because her needs will at times have come secondary to those of her brother. Go and have a lovely time. Smile

Lizzie48 · 11/01/2018 12:37

I think it's a fab idea, you and your DD will have a great time. Just one day won't spoil her. Smile