AIBU to ask for a day off work to look after my kids on inset day?

[lorenlukemum]

Despite being a driver I took a job in a primary school kitchen so l could be at home when my kids need me. I hate my job for so many reasons, including that it causes me physical pain, but I hide how I feel as I've always had a good reputation for my work ethic and I don't want to make things worse.

The problem is that now my kids have both moved up to secondary school our holidays and inset days don't always match. I don't have any family living locally any more, my husband works shifts and my friends are all working, and we can't afford a childminder.

I recently gave my manager two weeks notice of an inset day, initially she was supportive, but now she's suggesting that my kids should be old enough to leave on their own. My daughter is 14 and my son is 12.

I feel that my daughter is responsible enough to leave and I have left her on her own for short periods of time before, but I don't feel like my son is quite ready and it wouldn't be fair to expect my 14 yr old to take responsibility for him. I would do it if they were only going to be alone for an hour or so, but I'll be out for at least 4 hours. Am I being unreasonable?

I think it would be unreasonable to ask for a day off from a school job because of an Inset Day for 12 and 14 year olds. I would be happy to leave two DC of those ages alone for 4 hours - it may even do them good!

Both old enough to be left. YABVU.

I have left my year 6 and year 8 together for 5 hours in half term. They do get on.
I work 15 mins from home .
I would need to do the same this Feb half term too .

If you're entitled to take leave and rarely if ever ask during term time then just take it.

I have a 14yo and a 12yo and often leave them for four hours so I can work.

mothering Are You suggesting the op just doesn't go to work that day?

YANBU for asking about having one day of unpaid leave (and I do sympathise with the issue of working in a school and having different holidays from your children - DH and I are teachers in different boroughs and our DC go to schools in another borough so it's all a bit messy). Having said that, if I felt my 12-yr-old really wasn't ready to stay at home for a few hours, I'd have tried to arrange for them to go to a friend's, taken them to a local library to read/do homework or tried to negotiate taking them into my school and offering his/her services to the Reception/nursery class as someone to read stories or to tidy a cupboard if it meant I could avoid taking unpaid leave.

Another alternative is for you to ask your 14-yr-old to sort out something with friends so she's out of the house. The 12-yr-old could then stay home alone.

Since DD1 turned 10, she's chosen to spend some INSET days home alone instead of being organised by me. By part way through Y7 she and three friends have sorted themselves out, it tends to involve coming here to watch a film, cooking themselves some pizza and making smoothies.

Nicknacky no not all, if she is entitled to unpaid leave then I am saying to just take it, she has given her manager adequate notice.

If you're allowed to take annual leave in term time then she has no reason to ask the reason.

But I have to agree that at that age they're more than capable of looking after themselves for 4 hours. If not now, then when?

I was babysitting for neighbourhood babies and children of all ages at 14 for far longer than that, never mind several younger siblings.

Thank you all for your kind comments. My dcs do not have special needs, but I am concerned that ww3 would break out.

In response to some of the comments, I would actually be out for closer to 5 hours, I work for at least 4 but only get paid for 3 1/2 as a favour so my manager can collect her 16 year old on time! I do not get a break and we are not meant to keep our phones with us. Also, my school originally planned the same inset day but they changed it just before Christmas.

I have read every one of your replies and I will consider leaving my dcs at home, I just hope I have one left at the end of the day! 😉

As their school friends will also be off will they not be going out to see them anyway?

Well tell your manager who has back tracked that you can only do 3.5 hours them as you need to get back. Don't be doing her any favours!!!

If you end up working that day definitely on do the 3.5hrs you are paid for and not a moment more.

I have read every one of your replies and I will consider leaving my dcs at home, I just hope I have one left at the end of the day! 😉

:-) good luck!

My DC are 2 school years apart. They stayed at home alone from when they were 11 whilst I went, to work. I worked full 8-10 hours days. They are now both independent adults with no lasting effects from my ‘neglect’
I can’t see any issue with leaving at 12 & 14 year old for 4 hours.

unless they have SN, yabu.

Thank you ☺ , not sure I'll be able to leave work at the right time but I'll try

YABU

Most kids can stay home alone at 12 for a few hours. Sounds like an excuse to have a day off from a job you hate to me.

But given that - perhaps look at changing jobs?

If you work in a school kitchen presumably you're on a term time only contract and don't get any holiday allowance? I can understand why your leave has been refused as in theory your dc are old enough to be left. I work in a school and although I love the holidays, not being able to book a day off is really annoying!

mothering she can't just take leave because she has given her boss notice!