If men wore swimwear the same as a bikini...

[GoodStuffAnnie]

...bear with me!

So why do we have all our bits on display?

If men had to wear the equivalent it would be totally shaped to go around their balls and willies. And I mean that shape. So when they go to a shop they would get a size 3 balls and C willy. We would all be able to see what size they were. Why do I have to put my tits on display?

Caveat...I am small busted and am swimwear shopping. Have just found this and thought great! But am I being a bit weird not wearing a traditional costume/bikini.

www.swimwear365.co.uk/products/buffalo-ethnic-printed-blouson-tankini/_/A-686083_10?utm_source=GoogleProductList&utm_medium=PLA&utm_campaign=Tankinis&utm_content=686083_10&ns_campaign=Tankinis&ns_mchannel=PLA&ns_source=GoogleProductList&ns_linkname=686083_10&ns_fee=0&ordermedia=S0127&orderoffercode=XJ8P&entry=3

It's quite entertaining to go from that suggestion to googling 'floating sea cucumbers'.

We don't wear ANYTHING at our weekly swimming. Out, loud, proud, pudendal and penile. Boobs and moobs too. Nae bother. Just do it, as Nike once said.

Oh god I don't think I will ever unsee those. Budgie smugglers are already bad enough!

But did you notice that in the first link the rear of the 'thong' had full buttock-coverage? A women's thong exposes everything at the back.

What if they’re a grower not a shower and measure as a small size penis but bet excited and it’s split Lycra all over the beach???

And yeah sadly I’m way too big to do without measured structured support! I’d love to wear incy wincy random swimwear

There would most definitely be a lot of demand for padded ones. In fact, I’m pretty sure that size A would be the same size (or bigger) than size G but with considerably more padding.

Size 3 balls and a size C willy. OP, you have made my day.

You are right though. If men had children

boobs, periods, the world would be a different place.

Haha Tedster77 maybe they'd have to have an extension that can be activated if needed or maybe the fabric would grow to size (a one size fits all)

And there’d be all sorts of silicone things to help bulk out too big swimwear.

What shall we call the company?

Floatandwobble
Floatingseacucumbers
or louproudandpenile

Wonder if they'd make air and gel inserts for them.

Yes! Silicon jobs. Of course there would be.

I'm thinking the last option OP sounds like it would appeal to a wider audience

One problem... men’s willies have a tendency to change in size in a way boobs don’t! I’m not walking about erections, more changes of flaccidness (if that’s a word) brought about by temperature, exercise and mild excitement...

talking not walking

I think choice of material is going to be vital.

I'm pondering the use of underwiring / something to add a sense of sculpture.

It's going to have to contain some sort of elastain for the stretch and so that it can spring snugly back into shape again....

“One problem... men’s willies have a tendency to change in size”

Yeah but that could be a selling point for manufacturers:

“Stretchy and breathable fabric, allowing you to go from zero to hero in 60 seconds!”

Tip top idea OP.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno Haha I'm liking your advertising slogan...it's can be printed on the packaging. I reckon they'll come flocking.

Sizes would always be a bit more generous in M&S ...

Men's willies in swimming pools. Try to imagine a pink Walnut Whip, without the walnuts and your picture is complete.

Speaking of M&S.... can you imagine how fabulous the David Gandy ads for this particular Autograph range are gonna be?

This thread has me howling!