If men wore swimwear the same as a bikini...

[GoodStuffAnnie]

...bear with me!

So why do we have all our bits on display?

If men had to wear the equivalent it would be totally shaped to go around their balls and willies. And I mean that shape. So when they go to a shop they would get a size 3 balls and C willy. We would all be able to see what size they were. Why do I have to put my tits on display?

Caveat...I am small busted and am swimwear shopping. Have just found this and thought great! But am I being a bit weird not wearing a traditional costume/bikini.

www.swimwear365.co.uk/products/buffalo-ethnic-printed-blouson-tankini/_/A-686083_10?utm_source=GoogleProductList&utm_medium=PLA&utm_campaign=Tankinis&utm_content=686083_10&ns_campaign=Tankinis&ns_mchannel=PLA&ns_source=GoogleProductList&ns_linkname=686083_10&ns_fee=0&ordermedia=S0127&orderoffercode=XJ8P&entry=3

ha ha.

Yes we'd definitely get that old seawater made them stretch complaint. Get on yer bike.

They would lie to us and tell us that they have a size G willy, when they have a size B chipolata.

Presumably the number should be the penis length, and the letter for the balls. You can bet men would be very keen indeed on the add 4 or 5 method.

I can't bring myself to post a pic but do we remember Bobby's ball bag from Towie?

Op you've opened a can of worms with that link - further down the ebay link - wtf are sissy knickers?

This is the thing tho, when you actually think about it whats the difference with our tits being out. Why is there no public outrage? Why arnt we outraged? Year look at our private bits that we really dont want to put out there, but feel pressured too, whilst your bits are all snuggled away nicely.

I'm going to perform a trunks intervention on DH before we go on holiday. Scoop it all forward, lad.

Something like this?

I really want to click on that link, sparta, but I shudder to think what it'll do to the sidebar adverts...

That tankini is gorgeous, OP, but as a large-busted woman I need supportive swimwear. Although if you could get that looser style but with a built-in bra underneath I would buy the hell out of that

Swim shorts are banned in France and (I think) various other European countries, so it's Speedos only pour les hommes

Why did I enlarge the image sirius posyrd, why????? Anyone got any eye bleach? ~shudder~

That is brilliant Youcantbe

'posyrd' = 'posted'. Stupid fat fingers...

What is that cock cup thing fashioned from? An inside out Quavers packet?

They must have got a bit toasty in all that tin foil?

I have a costume like that. I think it’s very pretty and not weird at all

oooo maybe they would need a girth measurement as well.

That ones definitely too wide for him.

I feel sorry for anyone who had the misfortune to be behind him while he was squatting.

They certainly would need that as well OP as wouldn't want anything coming out due to improper fitting.

YouCantBeSirius bet he's a one to yoga on the beach as well in the name of relaxation...

Flip Flop Slop.

You'd probably get cases of flashers saying it wasnt me it was my swimwear.

Yes, a yoga range.

They'd all buy the largest size and stuff them anyway

Girth could easily be included if you're adapting one of the Clarks foot size measurers.

They would lie to us and tell us that they have a size G willy, when they have a size B chipolata.

Best Comment Ever.