Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Getting DDs name wrong

56 replies

peachweach · 10/01/2018 17:41

A person I know keeps spelling my baby DD's name wrong, at first I thought it was just a mistake so made a point of texting back mentioning DD's name with the correct spelling but now constantly since birth this person has been spelling it wrong. Think changing the end of the name from 'y' to 'ie'.

Person I'm talking about is very close immediate family on partner's side and has seen DD lots and had cards etc with DD's name in it, we have a WhatsApp group with DD's name as the title for picture sharing etc and all the other members of the group get it right. Surely it can't be just a mistake anymore? I've known the person in question for 10 years and they are harmless really but they do have form for being a bit funny with me sometimes, like I get in the way of their relationship with partner sometimes sort of thing.

I know it's a first world problem and really doesn't matter at all, but it's really starting to annoy me. Is it so hard to spell it correctly? AIBU?

OP posts:

brogueish · 10/01/2018 18:28

You're overthinking this. They've probably just remembered it wrong and it's set. My SIL of 15 years is Jackie/Jacquie/Jacqui - she's so blase about which spelling is actually "correct" I have no idea.

Crumbs1 · 10/01/2018 18:32

My mother always spells our second sons name incorrectly. Her age might be an excuse now but it wasn’t 20 years ago. We just ignore it, knowing no harm is going to come about because of it. She doesn’t love him any the less. She just has a mental block about it.

Sugarcoma · 10/01/2018 18:33

Best way to deal with this is to reply every time misspelling the relative's name - also by one letter so you can always blame your typing.

"Thanks Mari" (Mary)

"Cheers Jan" (Jane)

"Hi Cate" (Kate)

And so on...

ShellyBoobs · 10/01/2018 18:35

My aunt spells my step daughters name wrong and as it's a flower you would think it would be easy...

Quite!

(Unless it’s Dendranthema Lavandulifolium or something like that, of course)

jaseyraex · 10/01/2018 18:39

My grandad spelled my name wrong my whole life, gave me two N's instead of one. I never took it personally. But if it bothers you that much just politely correct her.

Mouthfulofquiz · 10/01/2018 18:39

I have a three letter, 'not that unusual' name and I have had it spelled wrong twice today! Can't be bothered to let it rile me TBH. My middle son has a name with about 5 different ways of spelling it, and so people often get it wrong. Does it matter that much?!

LightDrizzle · 10/01/2018 18:40

My name has a number of different spellings and plenty of people get it wrong, even in response to messages that clearly show the correct spelling. I notice but shrug it off.
Your Aunt probably has the kind of mental block I get, where I know I get something wrong, but can’t fit the life of me remember which way round it is. Either that or she just doesn’t notice. I doubt she’s making any kind of point.

MonumentalAlabaster · 10/01/2018 18:43

Slightly off topic but this thread has reminded me:
Years ago my daughter was in a playgroup with a child called Carolyn. Eventually I wrote the child's name on a birthday card only to find myself confronted by the mother telling me it was spelt Caroline. Puzzled I said "But that would be CaroLINE" (pronounced to rhyme with FINE) and she replied "No it's pronounced Carolyn but spelt Caroline". Baffled I retreated - what can you do if someone has such a poor understanding of the link between spelling and pronunciation?!

Original poster

peachweach · 10/01/2018 18:50

Thank you everyone for your replies, I know I'm being silly about it really I just can't help but get annoyed by it! It's quite an unusual old name, none of my family or friends had heard the name before we used it for DD so the spelling of it is new to them, it's only 4 letters (when you spell it correctly!) and it's really far removed from this person's name suggestions they had for me and my partner whilst I was pregnant.

It's really not the kind of name they would have even considered (not that it was their choice!) and they didn't take too kindly to myself and my partner suggesting that we weren't really into their name suggestions. I guess I feel like they keep misspelling it just to annoy me, we do tend to be quite passive aggressive with each other unfortunately

But anyway never mind! It's really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I just wanted to vent I suppose! Thank you all again x

OP posts:

Fluffyears · 10/01/2018 18:53

I have a name that is a bit uncommon but only really has one spelling. Think Victoria, Philippa or Elizabeth you can’t really get them wrong. I had a colleague spell it three different ways in one e-mail. There is a double letter that confuses people.

HazelBite · 10/01/2018 18:53

Ds2 is in his 30's so we have had this a long time.
He tells people "As in Connery, not like the sheep"!

HappyLollipop · 10/01/2018 18:53

You need to keep correcting her, I've had to do the same as my son name is constantly being spelled wrong by some family members they seem to think it has 2 S's rather than 2 A's! It's had varying success so far with most of them getting his name right now but it's still an ongoing battle with some of them.

Original poster

peachweach · 10/01/2018 18:54

MonumentalAlabaster, that's so strange! When the name has a completely different pronunciation surely you can't just go around using the spelling for the alternative pronunciation?!

The spelling of DD's name has the same pronunciation either way, just a different ending - like Maisy/Maisie as someone suggest upthread.

OP posts:

JulyAphrodite · 10/01/2018 18:55

My aunt has spelt my DD name wrong for 16 years and my DH for 24 :/

Original poster

peachweach · 10/01/2018 18:56

HazelBite, when I was young I used to think the name/spelling of Sean was pronounced as 'seen'!

OP posts:

Original poster

peachweach · 10/01/2018 18:58

HappyLollipop I think I'm just going to carry on correcting, I just don't get how it's so hard! I always make sure I'm spelling names correctly, especially if I'm a bit unsure! It's not like I'm offended or anything, I just think it's a bit lazy!

OP posts:

BarryTheKestrel · 10/01/2018 18:59

This sounds so familiar. DHs Auntie does this constantly to both mine and DDs names that end in 'i', she always puts 'ie'. But she does this with everyone in the family, no matter how many times you tell her it never sinks in. I've accepted it as part of her scatty personality rather than taking it personally now, especially as she does it to her own children and grandson!

evilstepmumagain · 10/01/2018 19:01

Gives me the fucking rage when people spell my DDs name with two L's in the middle

kaytee87 · 10/01/2018 19:02

Half of my family spell my name wrong. I find it very rude to not pay attention to how someone's name is spelt.

HelpTheTigers · 10/01/2018 19:04

One of my closest friends pronounces my name incorrectly but it has never bothered me over the 26 years that we have known eachother. It's just a bit different, that's all. Another friend has her name spelled incorrectly (using the male spelling) regularly, even by her own SIL. She isn't concerned either but just accepts that some people can't spell or just have never considered that they may be wrong in their choice of spelling. Having said that, I can understand why it may be irritating!

bumbleyroses · 10/01/2018 19:06

Can you just call them out on it?

"You've spelt her name wrong...again! For the record it's xyz "

I couldn't resist, it would give me the rage, especially if it was passive aggressive. It's just bloody rude!

rothbury · 10/01/2018 19:15

I have one of those names that can be spelt about six different ways. It has honestly never bothered me at all if/when people get it "wrong"

Console yourself with the thought that DD probably won't give a toss so you probably shouldn't either.

If you really think it's passive aggressive it's MIL Isn't it? then pretending you haven't noticed is the best response

seven201 · 10/01/2018 19:31

We got a Christmas card from my dh's grandparents where they spelt his name wrong and called me something else, despite us being together for 12 years. They're only 70 ish so can't use age as an excuse.

If I were you I'd start replying by spelling the relative's name a different way each time. If she points it out reply with a winky face - that will piss her off!

MonumentalAlabaster · 10/01/2018 19:37

Yes peachweach it's as if she doesn't understand that English actually has some spelling rules, the one in question being that when there is an "e" on the end of a word, it lengthens the vowel that comes before it eg the difference between "hat" and "hate", "fin" and "fine", "bond" and "bone" etc

(You can tell I used to be an English teacher can't you? )

SadnessReigns · 10/01/2018 19:40

Our DD is called Zoe, simple right?
Apparently not, MIL & FIL spell it Zowie every time😡 it must be deliberate because nobody is that stupid.

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.