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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with the teacher?

53 replies

waffilyversati1e · 10/01/2018 15:46

Daughter is in yr 7

It was her birthday last week and she decided that she wanted to have her ears pierced. She has been asking for years and since she has had such a good year (trying hard in school etc) I said Ok.

She selected a set of small plain studs (as per the school uniform rules) and I wrote a note in her planner explaining that the piercing were new and as such she had been told that she needed to keep them in for a few weeks under the advice of the piercing studio.

She has just called me (after school time was finished) to say that she showed her PE teacher the note and the teacher had insisted they be taken out anyway. She did as she was told and is now in tears because she cannot get them back in.

I am pretty pissed off but before I call the school... AIBU? How would you deal with this - oh and has this screwed the piercing up for good? I haven't had anything pierced so no experience

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/01/2018 15:48

Earrings out before PE is pretty stansard. That is why most parents if they want to allow School age children to have ears pierced do so at the start of the summer holidays

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 10/01/2018 15:50

Sadly jewellery can't be worn for PE.

It may seem shitty but it's better she have her earrings taken out than (although extremely unlikely) they get caught on something and rip her earlobe.

Let them heal up and take her again either in easter or summer - they shouldn't close up having been in for at least two weeks.

Ermmm6 · 10/01/2018 15:50

I’m sorry but I think YABU in that you should have waited until the summer holidays to allow her a full six weeks of healing. Surely that was the obvious thing to do knowing that schools ask them to remove earrings for PE.

And yes I think the piercing may be too healed to save, but even if it isn’t she’ll have the same problem every time she had PE surely?

Sleepless123456789 · 10/01/2018 15:51

New earrings can often be worn for P.E. if they are taped over - I'd check her planner / code of conduct, schools generally have something about it

Looneytune253 · 10/01/2018 15:52

Would u rather the teacher had let her leave them in and they were ripped out? Sorry but it’s usually a standard non negotiable school rule.

Trinity66 · 10/01/2018 15:52

I understand for health and safety why she couldn't wear them we'll participating however I think the teacher should have let her sit the class out rather than make her take the earrings out

Trinity66 · 10/01/2018 15:53

*while

IvorBiggun · 10/01/2018 15:54

What’s the school rules about earrings in PE? If it is the earrings must be taken out yabu. If you didn’t bother to find out before piercing her ears yabu. If you expect her to miss PE then yabu.

If the rules are new piercings must be covered with tape and you supplied tape yanbu.

Gizlotsmum · 10/01/2018 15:57

You knew the school rules and should have known piercings couldn’t be removed for a while. The practical thing would be to have for them done at the start of the Christmas or summer holidays. You can’t blame the School for sticking to the rules and should have done PE not sit it out.. it’s not optional

k2p2k2tog · 10/01/2018 15:57

As soon as the school term finishes there's a stampede to the local beauty salons around here for ear piercing.

Everyone KNOWS that earrings aren't allowed for PE and have to be removed, so therefore everyone gets their daughters' ears pierced on the last day of term so that they have the summer to heal. It's just one of those local knowledge things which you pick up.

Don't be annoyed at the teacher, question whether you shouldn't have perhaps thought about this before agreeing to an appointment right in the middle of hte school year.

chickenowner · 10/01/2018 15:57

YABU

Earrings worn during PE lessons have the potential to cause pretty horrific accidents.

Teachers and schools don't make up these rules for fun you know, they are there to protect the children.

This is why most children who want piercings have them done at the beginning of the summer holidays.

steppemum · 10/01/2018 15:58

sorry, YABU

earrings out before pe i standard. get your ears peirced in summer holidays. Schools are always nonnegotiable on this.

I am sorry for your dd as she won't be able to get them back in. I would phone the place you had them done for advice, and if not you may need to let them heal and do it again in the summer.

On the other hand, I think the teacher should have let her sit out, and told her to sort it before next lesson. Some schools do allow you to put a plaster over new peircings.

and dd had hers done at easter in year 6, she could not get them in and out herself even after 8 weeks, and then at about 12 weeks, suddenly they were comfortable enough to do. great relief as she started year 7, and needed to remove for pe, and was afraid she wouldn't be able to get them back in.

steppemum · 10/01/2018 16:00

and I woudl wait for summer, easter holidays aren't long enough, she won't be abelt o do it herself after 2 weeks.

k2p2k2tog · 10/01/2018 16:00

the teacher should have let her sit the class out

What a load of rubbish - childrne cannot decide which lessons they will or will not participate in. Miss, I've had my ears pierced! Miss, I've had another piercing! Miss, It's been a whole year since I've done PE because i'm swinging the lead!

Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 10/01/2018 16:03

Just spoken with her head of year and she seems to think that I am being perfectly reasonable expecting them to be kept in - they would usually make exceptions for new piercings and she has seen DD's studs and agreed that there was no risk there had they been taped over (which they have done in the past with other students and have the tape to do!)

All the school rules state is plain studs. So yeah I knew the rule(!) and have never heard about a salon stampede... My DD is 12 and this is the first time she has been old enough for us to consider allowing her to have anything of the sort

OP posts:
Eolian · 10/01/2018 16:03

YABU. This is why it's best to have them done in the summer holidays. It's pretty common knowledge that earrings need to be taken out for PE.

Cheerybigbottom · 10/01/2018 16:04

You should have checked the school policy regarding his before letting her get her ears done.

Do it in the beginning of the school summer holiday so they are healed for the September term and can be taken out without damage.

She will be fine without, you have no piercings so you know it’s not essential.

Cheerybigbottom · 10/01/2018 16:05

Is the head of year the pe teacher? If not, and there is no clear policy it’s the pe teachers rule. Perhaps they don’t take the risk.

chickenowner · 10/01/2018 16:06

Oh it's another one of those threads.

AIBU?
Yes!
No I'm not!

OK...

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 10/01/2018 16:11

I knew someone who had an earring accidentally ripped out of her ear in PE. She had two earlobes on one ear. If that had happened to your dd you would rightly be able to sue the school for negligence
You should have got her ears pierced at the beginning of the summer holidays.

chickenowner · 10/01/2018 16:12

I knew someone who had an earring accidentally ripped out of her ear in PE. She had two earlobes on one ear. If that had happened to your dd you would rightly be able to sue the school for negligence.You should have got her ears pierced at the beginning of the summer holidays.

This.

Wolfiefan · 10/01/2018 16:14

Your daughter must have seen everyone else removing earrings before every PE lesson. She must have known it was the policy.
YABU.
Of course she can't be allowed to sit out of a lesson because you chose to let her get her ears pierced. And you'd be more than annoyed if she had an ear lobe ripped in two during a lesson.

WhyamIBoredathome · 10/01/2018 16:14

YABU. It is standard practice to remove all earrings for PE.

Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 10/01/2018 16:16

Looks like I am then. Fair enough. Of course I wouldn't want her to be maimed in any kind of ear grabbing incident (never heard of this happening to anyone but sure, I guess it could?)

Thanks all!

OP posts:
Pigflewpast · 10/01/2018 16:20

YABU. Standard that you wait till summer holidays. They're no less likely to get ripped out because they're new so same rules apply to new as old piercings. YABU by going to the head of year instead of PE teacher too,

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