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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with the teacher?

53 replies

waffilyversati1e · 10/01/2018 15:46

Daughter is in yr 7

It was her birthday last week and she decided that she wanted to have her ears pierced. She has been asking for years and since she has had such a good year (trying hard in school etc) I said Ok.

She selected a set of small plain studs (as per the school uniform rules) and I wrote a note in her planner explaining that the piercing were new and as such she had been told that she needed to keep them in for a few weeks under the advice of the piercing studio.

She has just called me (after school time was finished) to say that she showed her PE teacher the note and the teacher had insisted they be taken out anyway. She did as she was told and is now in tears because she cannot get them back in.

I am pretty pissed off but before I call the school... AIBU? How would you deal with this - oh and has this screwed the piercing up for good? I haven't had anything pierced so no experience

OP posts:
Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 10/01/2018 16:22

There is no way of contacting the subject teachers directly - you can only contact the year office

OP posts:
Eolian · 10/01/2018 16:23

It doesn't have to be ear grabbing though, which would indeed be unusual. Catching an earring on another child's clothing/hair while running would be much more likely. It happened to a girl at my school in a hockey match.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/01/2018 16:24

As an ex PE lecturer... ... if you want to be sneaky, the clear retainers are nigh on invisible... available on Amazon, really cheap!

Taping might be an option, though it isn't a perfect fix. Lobe rips are horrendous, painful and they look truly ugly... even after repair, not available on the NHS!

Floralnomad · 10/01/2018 16:25

When my ds was in year 6 on a school trip to France they had an earring accident with one of the girls and ended up in a French accident dept for the best part of a day with a small stud trapped inside the piercing . Earrings can be dangerous , on the plus side it should be very easy for you / your daughter to stick it back through tonight . I let my pierced ears heal over about 20 years ago but I can still reopen them with very little discomfort / trouble .

Wolfiefan · 10/01/2018 16:25

I know someone who ripped out a belly button piercing by dropping something on it. Totally possible and gruesome too.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 10/01/2018 16:25

Have you tried to put them back in? DS had his ear pierced at the beginning of the 6 week holidays but somehow at holiday club the back came off and the eating came out when he was taking his hoodie off. He kept in in his pocket until I picked him up 4 or 5 hrs later. I washed his ear out with the ear solution and sterilised the earing in vodka, and managed to put it back in. It bled a little bit but was otherwise fine.

brizzledrizzle · 10/01/2018 16:27

YABU, taking out earrings for PE is standard procedure and has been for donkeys years. You should have waited until the summer holidays, it's you that has been unreasonable and not the teacher. I also don't believe that the head of year didn't back up the teacher who was correctly following school procedures - if she had a problem with the teacher correctly following procedures then she's very unprofessional and even more so to tell you that she didn't agree.

NeedsANap · 10/01/2018 16:28

If it's protocol to take them out then YABU. They would be liable if she got an infection when they didn't ask her to take them out during PE.

Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 10/01/2018 16:30

Yes cleaned the earring with the solution we were given and managed to get it back in. I probably should have thought to wait until summer hols but it was her birthday and I wanted her to have something nice. We have had a bit of a shit time as a family and she has been so brilliant throughout so when she actually wanted something I think I was so keen to give it to her that it didn't really occur to me to wait.

Thanks for the clear retainer tip, will have to check those out!

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 10/01/2018 16:30

Is the head of year the pe teacher? If not, and there is no clear policy it’s the pe teachers rule. Perhaps they don’t take the risk.

^ this

I've see some pretty awful ear ripping in the past.

ChocolateDoll · 10/01/2018 16:31

This question could only ever be asked by someone who has never seen anybody have an earring ripped out whilst playing sport.

YABU.

Massively so.

chickenowner · 10/01/2018 16:35

if you want to be sneaky, the clear retainers are nigh on invisible... available on Amazon, really cheap!

This is horrible advice.

It could lead to the OP's DD having her earlobe ripped, followed by the PE teacher being blamed for not noticing the clear earstud. And the school possibly being sued.

RidingWindhorses · 10/01/2018 16:37

I think her head of year is being sensible. There's no reason why an exception couldnt have been made when the piercing has just been done, as that is apparently normal policy.

diddl · 10/01/2018 16:38

Did she try to put her earring back in without cleaning it first?

gnomesweetgnome · 10/01/2018 16:40

YANBU!!!!!

I can't believe so many people are being so ridiculous about it. A pair of studs are not going to get ripped out of someone's ear. It's ridiculous. The PE teacher should of just left it. I would be pissed off

RoseWhiteTips · 10/01/2018 16:41

The PE teacher insisted for a good reason.

FluffyWuffy100 · 10/01/2018 16:42

I thought it was pretty standard to tape new piercings over with tape or a plaster for PE?

youarenotkiddingme · 10/01/2018 16:44

Why couldn't she cover them in tape or a plaster? Most pe policies state hair ties back and piercings removed or taped?

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 10/01/2018 16:44

Gnomes I was at college with a girl who had her earring ripped out accidentally in a pe lesson.
Also knew a girl who nearly had her hand sliced off at the wrist tripping and falling through a small window in the front door. Another girl who was hit by a car. A boy who slipped off his chair, banging his chin on the table and biting the end of his tongue off.

MagicMoneyTree · 10/01/2018 16:45

Well I’m in my 30s and the no earrings for PE rule was in place in my primary school days, so hardly a new thing? Just get them done again at the start of the summer holidays if taking them out now becomes a problem. Better to stick to the rules than risk a nasty accident that could easily have been avoided.

suzy2b · 10/01/2018 16:46

Back in the dark ages when i was at school we didn't have rules like that and there were loads of girls with earrings in never heard of anyone having them ripe out also would like to add
k2p2k2tog and Gizlotsmum the 4 yrs i was at secondary school i very rarely did PE hated it so didn't do it

chickenowner · 10/01/2018 16:46

A pair of studs are not going to get ripped out of someone's ear.

Sorry to disagree with you, but this DOES happen!

Verbena37 · 10/01/2018 16:48

It’s pretty standard to tape over them when new....in four schools my kids have been to. I don’t understand why they didn’t say to put tape over them.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 10/01/2018 16:50

Back when year 7 was known as 1st year secondary I had my ears pierced on the last day of the summer term so I could start removing the earrings for the start of autumn term (no earrings allowed whatsoever at any time). DD then went to the same school and we did the same thing for her. DDs primary didn't allow earrings to be worn either and, personally, I don't think earrings should be worn in school although I know many allow studs that should be removed for PE.

My mother had a split earlobe caused by a pulled earring (don't know circumstances, it was before I was born) and I certainly wouldn't wish anything like that on my daughter.

Nikephorus · 10/01/2018 16:51

When my ds was in year 6 on a school trip to France they had an earring accident with one of the girls and ended up in a French accident dept for the best part of a day with a small stud trapped inside the piercing
I did similar to this - caught the stud on a towel & yanked it out and the back got stuck inside my ear. Serious panic stations. If it had been pulled harder it could have done some serious damage.
And I went to school in the dark ages & it was clearly in the rules that if you wanted your ears pierced you had to have them done at the start of the summer holiday.