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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect pre-school staff to wipe ds bum after number 2?

50 replies

munchkinmum · 25/04/2007 20:51

My daughter(only this weekend turned 3) came home with 2 pairs of pooey knickers and a dirty bum from pre-school (attached to her normal nursery where she has been going for 2 years).

I'm disgusted that they did not sort her out properly (twice!) and she was upset that her knicks were dirty poor love.

What a disapointing end to what is a milestone day - first time as a pre-schooler...

What do you think?

OP posts:

nickytwotimes · 25/04/2007 20:52

poor wee lass!
i am quite surprised at this. have friends who are nursery nurses and know pre school teachers - they all do bum wiping for lo s

colditz · 25/04/2007 20:53

this is basic care and they are legally obliged to do this if they are claiming government grants for preschool education.

paulaplumpbottom · 25/04/2007 20:54

Thats awful!!!! Are you going to bring her back?

Lizzylou · 25/04/2007 20:54

DS1's Preschool helpers wipe his bum...v wrong not to do so imo.

Caligula · 25/04/2007 20:54

No not unreasonable at all, if they're maddoes who can't stand poo, they shouldn't work in a nursery.

PinkChick · 25/04/2007 20:54

nurseries that children go to from birth ARE suposed to clean children, how would they change bottoms otherwiase, they were out of order not helping

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2007 20:55

She may not be asking for help. I'd talk to her about it. When my DS1 started nursery school, he didn't like to ask for help (and they didn't like him doing downward dog to get it, tbh), so he quit asking for help, and would do a poor job himself. He just stopped pooing at school. I think, even now, in Reception, he doesn't poo at school.

Caligula · 25/04/2007 20:57

God no wonder so many people have got poo hang ups, if that's the way they're treated about it when they're tiny.

TeeCee · 25/04/2007 21:00

In fairness though, perhaps she was wiped, had her knickers put back on and then she hadn't quite finished going iykwim? My Dd sometimes has littel poo stains from whee she either needs to go and hasn't quite gone or has been and been cleaned but hadn't quite finished.

Original poster

munchkinmum · 25/04/2007 21:03

Thanks for your messages - shocked at quick replies!!

I think that they expect kids to get on with it but the simple fact is that we were not prepared for it. If they had told us and asked us to start getting her to this stage a while ago then we would have certainly told my girl to let us know if she needed a poo and started practising.

Despite this, I doubt if she can reach round and do the job properly -- she is only just turned 3 FFS!

I am furious. Gonna have words, although not gonna jump the gun as she is V happy there and all her little mates go too.

P.S. Thanks colditz for the 'legalities'. Good ammunition.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2007 21:04

No no, nobody expects a child this age to wipe competantly. But they might need to actually ask for help.

Original poster

munchkinmum · 25/04/2007 21:04

she doesn't like poo at the best of times so doubt if she had a go at wiping herself.

(Hope no-one is eating! Sorry!!!)

OP posts:

Mercy · 25/04/2007 21:09

Is this a private nursery or a playgroup?

Not that is should matter but our local playgroup (now closed) would only take toilet trained children and would not oversee bum wiping, handwashing etc. Which you may think is fine but they were offering places to children aged 2.5. I don't know any child of that age who was fully competent in all areas of using hte toilet and hygiene.

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2007 21:19

I work at a childcare co-op (well, I'm one of the parents). Our kids at 20 months to 3.5.

If they're toilet trained (or training) we of course wipe their bottoms! We check whether they've gone. I teach them to do downwards dog, and I clean them up, very carefully.

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 25/04/2007 21:22

I had exactly the same problem twice last week, although added to DD2 dirty bottom and knicks, she also had a poo-ey skirt where she had obviously not hoisted it high enough when she went to the loo. I was cross about it, too. She is at a private nursery, and the helper/child ratio is pretty good, so I don't think it's an under staffing issue. Even if they don't actually help them, I think a bit of guidance as they go to the loo wouldn't be too much to ask.

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2007 21:26

Some children don't want any carers in the loo with them. Even for our little ones, we sometimes have to vacate the children's loo and then come back after to make sure everything's ok. I'm pretty sure I've not sent anyone home in pooey clothes, but I'm just saying, I can see how it could happen.

paulaplumpbottom · 25/04/2007 21:27

What did your dd say about it?

gingeme · 25/04/2007 21:29

Im so glad I found this thred. My ds who was 3 a couple of weeks ago often comes home from pre school with poohey pants. When he first started there he was only just toilet trained and occasionaly poohed his pants so they would ring me to come and change him even though they ask to take spare clothes in in case of accidents. I just thought they werent supposed to wipe their bums. Oh and what is 'downwards dog'?

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2007 21:32

This . The ideal bum-wiping position.

divastrop · 25/04/2007 21:36

i didnt realise the staff are meant to help with bottom wiping-but as my ds2 never came home with dirty undies i assumed he never pooed in nursery.but he does,so i can only assume he asks them to wipe his bum like he does with me at home(he asked dd1 (8) to do it last week,she was not impressed).

i agree,though,your dd would probably have to ask the staff for help,in my ds's nursery they just go to the loo on their own and the staff wouldnt know if they'd done no.2 unless they told them iyswim.

divastrop · 25/04/2007 21:37

gingeme-they rang you to go and change him???what are they being paid to do???

Original poster

munchkinmum · 25/04/2007 21:37

It's a private nursery. DD not bothered about people in the loo with her but even if she did want to be on her own, you would check after wouldn't you?

Gonna talk to nursery 2moro and will report back here.

I've been effin and jeffin all night about this so will have to try and be measured 2moro!

OP posts:

gingeme · 25/04/2007 21:38

Thankyou NQC. Trouble is my dh wipes ds's bum like this and I tell him not to in case they ask questions at pre school and think something funnys going on at home. Oh well Ill keep my mouth shut in future.....

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2007 21:40

I really wouldn't worry about the downwards dog thing. I had no comments from the teachers about it, just DS1 said they didn't like that and told him not to do it at school.

It really is the only way to make sure they're clean imo. I get all the co-op kids to do it. (If I was a bloke, would I be so confident about it? Probably not.)

gingeme · 25/04/2007 21:40

Exactly my point divastrop. Hes a regular little guy iyswim and has a pooh about 10.30 so this will always be at pre school. Maybe I should have a word as his grant has come through now too.

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