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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boasting about children

71 replies

Iloveanimals · 09/01/2018 19:20

Particularly on social media, but not just limited to that. Taking pictures, telling everyone how happy they are. How amazing they are and making out their lives are perfect. Capturing every minute of every day and showing and telling it to anyone who will look and listen.
I happen to struggle sometimes and am recovering from a long illness and sometimes people like this get to me (please be kind, it might just be me but life's been hard recently and I'm emotional) it's just their lives seem so flamin perfect and it makes me think, what's wrong with me??? I want another baby and can't and there this woman is posting all over social media how great her family is and literally taking hundreds of pictures of everything they do and making out everything's great. She just had a baby and is already doing everything that most people wouldn't dream of. She's got 2dd and 1ds all under five and acts amazingly. I have one dd who is seven and I struggle so bad!
I'm sorry for the rant

OP posts:
Lovelylovelyladies · 09/01/2018 20:36

Happy people work extremely hard to be happy. I was once a down trodden young adult, anxious, unhappy and hated seeing anyone happy.

I worked my fucking ass off to get my mind straight. I am very happy now. I would be extremely put out if anyone was to be offended by my happiness. I put in all my energy, I mean every last drop of energy and sanity I had left in me and created a life I can be happy with.

I quit Facebook 6 years ago and it changed my life. It was the first step towards feeling normal again.

I suggest you leave it to.

People aren't happy because they always wake up that way. It takes an awful lot of brain power to be positive.

Don't assume everyone who is happy is got an awful life behind the scenes. Some people do just have happy lives...and how do they have happy lives... They work hard mentally, stay away from drama and bull shit and are just nice to themselves and others.

Christmascardqueen · 09/01/2018 20:40

Would you consider “joining in” taking a quick snap of one thing each day that brings you joy or inner peace?
It could be anything; a good soup or stew, a bird on your clothes line or of course a piece of children’s artwork.

kittensinmydinner1 · 09/01/2018 21:51

Just think logically. How many fb posts and pics do you see of ;

DH , Kids and I all having massive row this morning'
'Kids hate me'
'I want a divorce '

None ! It's all cherry picked nonsense. Posted by people with a desperate inferiority complex and need to be admired.
Genuinely- the happiest people I know have never been near fakebook.

greenlynx · 09/01/2018 23:08

You are absolutely right, OP!

People are boasting on social media A LOT!!!! Actually often they are not boasting they are putting the truth but only one side. No one put on FB about quarells, money problems, health issues, etc. but believe me we all have them! ( instead we are posting about them on MN) You just need to remember this and take eveything on social media with a huge pinch of salt.

tillytrotter1 · 09/01/2018 23:49

We used to know a family with similar aged children to ours and we had some real laughs at their expense. She fancied herself as 'earth-mother', she was once lecturing on how her children never ate any processed or frozen or pre-prepared food. Her husband came up from the cellar with a box of cheap, frozen burgers and said I'll start the barbecue! According to her their trips back to the UK went like clockwork, first of the ferry, no traffic jams, no murderous children in the back seat, he however swore he would swing for the little b*ers after the last trip!
No-one's life is perfect, they either lie or wear rose-tinted glasses.

GreenTulips · 09/01/2018 23:54

Perfect social media mum locally - her DS has been expelled recently! No mention of that one on FB!

I know quite a few 'look at our amazing DC' and my kids come home and tell some right stories about their antics in the class room

Another loved up couple of 20 odd years have just split - not details on FB - it's just a front

All a bit of a cover up if you ask me!

AHungryMum · 10/01/2018 06:40

YABU

Are people only allowed to post on social media about how shitty and miserable being a parent makes them?

I'd rather see a feed full of happy photos/posts than a load of posts about people being made redundant, or experiencing a bereavement, or whatever. Or lecturing preachy political posts for that matter. Give me endless tedious photos of babies or cats over that any day!

Sorry OP but you are projecting and jealous. If this one particular woman annoys you on social media then just unfollow her, don't expect her to alter her social media habits just in case it makes people whose lives are less content than hers miserable....

AHungryMum · 10/01/2018 06:44

PS by that I don't mean that I expect people to keep it to themselves when bereaved etc, people can get a lot of support through social media in tough times, it can let people know that they'd like someone to reach out and offer support, and that's a good thing. I've done it myself before when I've not been coping with life.

I just prefer to see when people are happy. I generally only follow friends on social media, so when I see that they are happy, I am happy for them.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 10/01/2018 06:54

lots of posts on social media are just a snapshot and isn’t what is really going on.
I bet everyone could post positive social media pics every day if they wanted to.
I remember a friend of mine calling me up asking me if I’d ever had problems with a particular takeaway place that we both like because she’s ordered and the food was really late and cold. Her Facebook post was something like ‘lovely romantic meal with hubby tonight. What could be better?’

lunar1 · 10/01/2018 07:01

It's just a modern day photo album, no different than when we used to pick up prints from the pharmacy and slide the best ones into a flip album. Nobody puts in the picture of the dishes in the sink from the night before or the one of themselves screaming at the kids like a banshee for the 7th time that day.

Leigha3 · 10/01/2018 07:02

It might not just be on social media but I'd say all forms of social media give people a platform to highlight everything good in their lives while editing out the bad. It's why I've always limited my use of social media when I use it at all.

There are a lot of people who I don't believe are trying to throw their happiness in others faces or pretend things are perfect I think they simply post about the good as a reminder to themselves when things aren't going well.

Silvercatowner · 10/01/2018 07:10

the happiest people I know have never been near fakebook

I'm happy - or content rather - and love my FB. I am older though - wonder if that makes a difference? Control who you see on FB, block or delete anyone who drains you. I only see who I want to see. Anyone posting endless pictures of kids would be blocked at least.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 10/01/2018 07:31

I'm really sorry you can't conceive, but lovey, have you considered that you're spending so long looking at the good things in hers and resenting them when you could be looking at the things in your own and enjoying them?

Go and take your little girl to the park and mess about and put some pictures of it on Facebook. Of course what you're going through is very sad. But counting your own blessings rather than resenting someone else's would make you feel better.

Looneytune253 · 10/01/2018 07:32

No body’s life is perfect. No one! I try to keep my fb a happy place. Don’t mention if and when I’m struggling. I have funny things the kids have said or pictures of fun things we’ve done. I’m quite a positive person. I do not put on when I’ve had an argument with dh or when I’ve had a hard day or I’m really tired. I’m like that in real life though and will be happy when talking to people. That’s just my personality but my life is not perfect and i would bet neither is anyone’s on your fb either.

Katedotness1963 · 10/01/2018 08:00

You have a child. Some people are struggling to have that, so your life is what they want.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 10/01/2018 08:03

What lovelyladies said Smile Flowers

Sarahh2014 · 10/01/2018 08:07

Try and stop resenting what other people have

Increasinglymiddleaged · 10/01/2018 08:14

The thing is OK that FB is optional and following individuals is optional, people can post whatever drivel they like. We have someone like this at work who's just had a baby and it's a bit of a running joke in the office at the moment.

rogue8 · 10/01/2018 08:22

Take FB with a massive pinch of salt. Frankly, people who post loads have too much time on their hands. Yes, it tends to be all the positive guff which is fine but certainly not representative of RL. I tend to post holiday pics because it's the only time that I cba to take photos and I tend to be in a happier frame of mind. If you look at my FB though, my life would seem to consist of one long holiday!

Spikeyball · 10/01/2018 08:22

I post photos of my son ( not lots but some) on Facebook. I also sometimes mention things he has done / have happened to him that have made me happy. I don't see that as boasting but sharing nice stuff with those who might be interested - my Facebook friends are in the 10's rather than 100's.
I don't mention bad stuff- nothing wrong with doing that but I prefer not to. So I never mention my stillborn child or the challenging stuff associated with my son's disability.
Facebook usually doesn't give a full picture of people's lives.

LucheroTena · 10/01/2018 08:25

People put all sorts of boasty bullshit on those sits, I would deregister. Some people just love to boast, it comes from a place of insecurity. It’s not a very British trait. Just ignore.

DrMarthaJones · 10/01/2018 09:20

In fact I think a lot of the empty boasting that goes on is done form of therapy for such people. They are so desperately trying to convince that their lives are perfect. Beneath the superficial veneer, the story may well be very different indeed

Sometimes. And sometimes its people who are desperate to bring others down because their own lives are bad.

Creambun2 · 10/01/2018 09:21

Boasting about children is vulgar behaviour and usually undertaken by insecure middle class parents.

UnitedKungdom · 10/01/2018 09:27

Some people use social media more than others. What do you think it is for? It's for pictures and thoughts and sharing about life. Can you imagine if people only put up bad pictures and negative thoughts😅

Seriously though. Plenty of people have lots of nice things and small happinesses in their lives and social media is structured to share those things. If you can't handle seeing things and taking them in context then you need to hide people or even stop using the service.

UnitedKungdom · 10/01/2018 09:28

Boasting about children is vulgar behaviour and usually undertaken by insecure middle class parents.

People who say things like this also have certain 'issues'.

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