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AIBU?

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Original poster

How do you afford more than one baby?

71 replies

Bossbaby12 · 09/01/2018 11:00

Reposting for traffic, hope that's okay!!

Hi! So me and my partner have been discussing the possibility of having a second baby. We currently have a 17mo DD. The only thing that is making us both panic is the cost. How do you afford two babies? DD is currently in nursery a few days a week and I now only work part time but if we were to have another I have no idea how this would work because I would still want DD to go to nursery so she can interact with children her age but I don't have a clue how this would be affordable, especially when it's time for the second one to start nursery. How do you manage?

OP posts:
strangerhoes · 09/01/2018 11:04

You wait until the oldest is in school.

Bodicea · 09/01/2018 11:05

You would get 30 hours at age three if you work. That covers three days nursery fees in most nurseries. 15 hours still if you don’t.

UnitedKungdom · 09/01/2018 11:05

OP you either earn enough or you don't. In our case we can afford the childcare from my salary or his but we are both high earners. Those who don't earn enough, usually the mother becomes a SAHM and I think then some benefits might kick in if the father still doesn't earn quite enough.

The alternative to that is that some people have family who mind kids for free.

Things also change when the kids start going to school full time.

How is your situation?

EdithWeston · 09/01/2018 11:08

You work more hours and accept that as household income rises, for a few years the bills do too.

But they will reduce in a few years, and your household finances may well be better by then (especially if either of you becomes promotable).

It is a seriously tough time, as both of you will feel like you are working hard for no measurable 'extra' but that will pass.

The sooner you can up your hours the better - as that will bring in a bit more now (and if you can manage not to spend it all, that's the start of your savings for a cushion for those years to cons)

Parker231 · 09/01/2018 11:12

Had DT’s. Went back to work full time when they were 6 months. Lots of post grad study and exams to progress career as quickly as possible. Two nursery fees were a nightmare but it’s short term pain.

Unicorn82 · 09/01/2018 11:17

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Original poster
Bossbaby12 · 09/01/2018 11:21

Thanks for the replies!

Financial wise we are absolutely fine at the minute. Partner works full time and we both have decent jobs. I have thought of going back full time a few times but nursery fees would be higher than my monthly wage Sad

Partner is looking to apply for ways to up his role at work, qualifications ect but even if exams are passed ect it can still take a few years to get a job within that profession.

Also sadly no family members with free time to watch DD. Occasionally SIL has a day off and she can be great help, same goes to MIL.

How does the 30 free hours work? I have googled but I am obviously clueless as I can't get my head around it! Is it monthly or weekly? Is everyone eligible?

OP posts:
MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 09/01/2018 11:22

When we had our first 3 DC we were earning significantly less than we do currently (training years) so we basically went without any form of luxury and made do.
Two bed flat in a cheap area (with 3 DC in one room), no holidays, no car at times, second hand clothes for the DC and no new stuff for us. We ate very little meat, didn’t drink and didn’t have much of a social life.
We didn’t have family nearby and worked complicated, clashing shift patterns so the bulk of our income went to childcare. With the eldest 2 it was a case of childminders but with our third DC and subsequent DC we have had a nanny share with my husband’s colleague.

For us it was worth it because we knew we would be earning more in the future however I would struggle to live my life like that forever.

Sunshinegirl82 · 09/01/2018 11:26

We are in the same situation OP. Our plan is to aim for a 3 year (ish) gap so we get the free hours for DS around the time baby 2 arrives.

I currently work 3 days a week and DS is in nursery for those days. My understanding is that the 30 hours are available to everyone provided you both work and earn over a certain amount. You would need to check your nursery will accept the funding.

You get 30 hours a week free during term time. Our nursery allows you to stretch the entitlement over the whole year so we'll get 22 hours a week paid and will need to top up the rest.

It's going to be really tight but it's only for a few years. I know what you mean though, it's tricky to see how it will work.

ObiJuanKenobi · 09/01/2018 11:29

We have twins after waiting to try for 'a baby' until we had the money to do so - so we had to economise it's amazing how money can stretch! Most nurseries will offer a second sibling discount (for us twin 2 gets 5% off).

If we tried for another baby we have said we would definitely wait until dtwins are of school age/ getting free nursery hours.

Pibplob · 09/01/2018 11:30

Our eldest was almost 3 when we had our second. He then was able to stay in nursery due to the free 15 hours. (Thinknit may be more now but I'm not sure as this was 7 years ago). So he stayed in nursery over my mat leave and youngest then started when I went back. It was expensive going back to work but being part time meant that most of my eldest son fees were covered with the 15 hours and he only cost a little extra on top of that. Maybe plan for a 3 year gap?

HairyToity · 09/01/2018 11:31

We had a four and a half year gap. Didn't have two in nursery to pay for.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 09/01/2018 11:32

Dh has a pretty good salary. My salary would only just cover childcare for one child, but dc1 is three now, so we would qualify for 30 hours free childcare. Expecting dc2 very soon and I will try to get back to work ASAP, even if nursery fees mean it won’t be an increase in income for me. Hopefully I will still be in a job by the time they are both at school.

Others seem to get free childcare from grandparents etc, but that’s not an option for us.

Original poster
Bossbaby12 · 09/01/2018 11:33

Yeah it seems it's definitely going to make more sense financially to wait until DD is slightly older and eligible for free hours.

Time to start saving! Smile

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 09/01/2018 11:35

Are you sure nursery fees are higher than your wage?
Nursery fees are about £5 an hour. Minimum wage is more than that.

x2boys · 09/01/2018 11:36

We both worked shifts and tried to work around each other as much as possible not everyone works nine till five!

Girlwiththearabstrap · 09/01/2018 11:36

We've waited until our eldest is old enough to be getting free hours and will be starting school a few months after I return from Maternity leave - all being well! Those few months are going to be a killer though, And we only get 15 free hours in Scotland just now. It's supposed to be increasing to 30 at some point but I'm not sure we'll benefit from that.
To answer the question - lots don't really afford it. We're not low earners but 2 full time nursery places is about what I earn each month. But we see it as a short term loss for a long term gain

Bobbybobbins · 09/01/2018 11:36

It is really tough. We had 2 in nursery 3 days a week before my eldest got the free hours and it was over 1000 a month, way over our mortgage! Almost all my pay.... But things got a lot easier when he got the hours and then more so when he starts school and my youngest will get the free hours. Short term it can be very challenging financially.

We managed to afford to have a week away every year by buying 2nd hand clothes from eBay, not going out loads etc.

Whizziwig · 09/01/2018 11:38

Bear in mind childcare costs continue post-school age and can be quite expensive if there is no on-site breakfast and after-school club.

Also costs for things like extra-curricular clubs, birthday parties,clothing, shoes etc mount up. Clubs and parties etc are optional but maybe something to think about. Would you rather have one and have more to spend on them or two with less to spend on each? We considered a third child and knew we couldn't afford the extra "luxuries" if we had one.

Girlwiththearabstrap · 09/01/2018 11:38

Arethereanyleft - an under 2 place at my nursery (which is typical of the area) is 1150 a month. I can see how people would earn less than that although I'm not totally sure obviously.

RestingGrinchFace · 09/01/2018 11:41

Could you consider going back to uni/retraining/conversion course? To give you an idea the starting salary for trainee lawyers at the best paid firms is six figures. Obviously it's very difficult to get such a position but there are a lot of firms that offer 40k rising sharply post qualification. If you are willing to put in the work there are opportunities out there. It is just very hard.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 09/01/2018 11:41

Just to be clear, most nurseries DON'T offer a blanket 30 hours free i.e. you can't just rock up, put your child in for 30 hours and pay nothing. Each nursery works it out slightly differently. Ours offers 30 hours free IF your child is in nursery full time, otherwise it's worked out pro-rata. Some friends are charged for meals and snacks and/or admin. But I don't know anyone whose child goes to nursery for 30 hours and pays nothing.

MotherWol · 09/01/2018 11:42

We're planning to wait until the 30 hours kicks in before starting another mat leave; the alternative would be to pull DD out of nursery while I'm on leave and risk losing her place. Can't afford two lots of FT nursery fees, so I reckon we'll have at least a 3 year age gap.

ontheedge99 · 09/01/2018 11:42

Wait until first one gets funded 30 hours

DrMarthaJones · 09/01/2018 11:45

sahp, obviously.

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