How do you afford more than one baby?

[Bossbaby12]

Reposting for traffic, hope that's okay!!

Hi! So me and my partner have been discussing the possibility of having a second baby. We currently have a 17mo DD. The only thing that is making us both panic is the cost. How do you afford two babies? DD is currently in nursery a few days a week and I now only work part time but if we were to have another I have no idea how this would work because I would still want DD to go to nursery so she can interact with children her age but I don't have a clue how this would be affordable, especially when it's time for the second one to start nursery. How do you manage?

Not in same position as you but we both had especially DH flexibility at work.

We had an age gap that meant dc1 had started school just before dc2 arrived. If we choose to have dc3 we will do the same.

Hi Bossbaby12 Where there is a will, there is a way.

I have a 21m DC and currently 6 months pregnant. I did worry initially about money - but my desire for 2 DC over took this.

Currently, I work 4 days a week, DS goes to nursery 3 days a week, The 1 day I'm working and he isn't at nursery - I either work from home or my mum has him.

When this baby is born, He'll still go to nursery, but only 2-3 half days. Like you, I want DS to continue to have the interaction with other children - but we definitely couldn't afford for him to go full time. And I'll be home, so it makes sense for me to have him home with the baby & I too.

When I go back to work after Maternity, DS will be just turned 3 and will be entitled to 30 hours a week. So, at this point, we'll be paying the bulk of fees for the new baby.

I'd say look at the non-vitals in your expenditures and see what you can cut back on. Mat Pay is rubbish, but your work may offer a little more and see what you can start saving to make mat leave a little easier for you.

Like i said - Where there is a will, there is a way!
Good luck with what you decide to do x

Nursery fees are about £5 an hour. Minimum wage is more than that.

I live in the NE and pay more than that. Plus you need children in nursery for at least an hour either side of your working hours and you pay tax on your wages.

OP, we had 3 in quick succession with no family support but are lucky to earn enough to cover the costs (at the highest we were paying £15k per annum). We didn't see a major drop when the eldest started school, we still needed wrap around care which is more expensive per hour than care for 3&4 year olds. It's only now that they are all at school and we've rejigged our hours to minimise childcare that we're seeing an improvement to our cash flow.

Do both of you work locally? We saved £6.5K per year when DH changed his job and no longer had to pay commuting costs (it took him years to find this job though, it's not easy). Are you and your DH's hours arranged to minimise childcare costs? Keep reviewing that as your eldest gets the free hours (term after they turn 3), and then starts school. As PP said you might need to delay no2 if having 2 in FT childcare is too expensive.

We had a big age gap (our dd is turning 5 right around when baby #2 is due). We intentionally waited that long so that she could be in school before we had another. That means we don't have to pay for nursery while I'm on mat leave. We also wouldn't have wanted to take her out as it was such a good experience for her and she would have missed her friends. And we got a bit of a reprieve with the tax free childcare and 30 funded hours, even before she started school (we were in the trial area where it all started last year). Plus, now that she's in school, I could save up what I wasn't spending on nursery for savings while I'm on mat leave.

The 5 year gap also meant I could get a bit further ahead in my career, so my salary is considerably more than what it was when I went on mat leave the first time and even compared to when I went back to work. That means we are much more financially comfortable now and when I go back, we'll comfortably be able to afford nursery.

So for us really it was just about waiting. I'm 37 and even at my age, it was very worth it to wait and get ourselves more established first. It also means we had a good long time with our first being an only child and she got plenty of attention and we got to enjoy being a family of 3. Now when baby comes along and she's in school, I'll similarly have plenty of one on one time with him and be able to give her my attention with homework and other things after school. So that's how we did it. I really could not have fathomed having another sooner.

arethereanyleftatall

Nursery costs us £53 a day.

Shift wise, we are both already on different shifts most days. We have never been on holiday (out of choice, not a pity invite haha), we don't go out much, new clothes are bought when needed and when I say new, either eBay or on sale.

I'll definitely have a word with nursery about the free hours to see if it's something they offer

It's difficult to afford children at all, but somehow you manage it! I had 2 with a short gap in between and gave up full time work as it would have cost more in childcare/expenses than I earned. Instead I worked evenings/nights at a hospital (not medically trained, I worked 7pm - 2am as a ward clerk/gofer on an ICU. A friend did something similar and worked stacking shelves through the night. Therefore no childcare costs. This was when there was limited maternity pay - I didn't qualify because I hadn't been working at my firm for over 2 years and of course didn't qualify to have my job kept open. Not sure I'd advise this to my daughter though because it was exhausting and it took me years once the children were at school to rebuild any sort of career.

Several friends kept on their full time jobs and had children 5 years apart thus reducing childcare costs.

We saved before having kids (not much help to you now I know, but you did ask how everyone did it).

Friends of ours - dad works 6-2. Mum works 3-11. (Same company, big corporate who allow flexible hours).

Wait until oldest is at school or has subsidised hours.
Earn more.
One parent becomes a SAHP.
Family help our with child care.
Accept a much lower standard of living.

I managed my four by staying at home for the first few years surviving on one salary and no benefits and then as they started school taking on evening jobs so dh looks after them in evening me in the day.

We don't find it too bad. DH works days and I work evenings. We don't earn much as a family but life is affordable. We're just expecting our second in a few weeks and I can't imagine our finances will change much. Although I will say, we are very lucky as our mortgage is affordable

Arethereanyleft - are you confusing preschool fees and nursery fees? Because DS2 (3) is about £5 per hour at preschool - so with lunch it's about £20 for the morning. But DD (1) is about £70, possibly a few pounds more, for a morning session (5 hrs) at a nursery.

If the only reason your dd is in nursery is to interact, then take her out and go to toddler groups, a 1.5 time, local places with indoor play areas... You will find loads of parents there with small dc, and child minders with their charges in tow. My dd never went to nursery, as in pre school until she was just over 3 and by that time had masses of interaction with other dc and in many settings.

Of course you already have the baby kit for no 2 and if on budget hopefully more savvy... In terms of buying stuff second hand and indeed selling stuff second hand...

Sorry £1.5 a time usually three hours with snacks and drinks included.

We're expecting our second in September with a 21 month gap. Will keep eldest in nursery two days a week on Mat leave (been building up vouchers!) and look forward to her free hours helping out once I've gone back to work.

There will be an overlap of double fees before the 30 hours kick in, but we have grandparent help two days a week. I'm almost 39 so didn't want to hang about!

I’ve shared this a lot before but I think it’s something people don’t generally know about:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/money/2014/mar/25/uk-incomes-how-salary-compare

The median household income for a family with two adults and two children is almost £50,000. In other words, half of these families earn more than that. If your household earns £30,000 a year, say, you are in the poorest third of families.

I mention it because people tend to over-focus on things like the average industrial wage. The reality is that most families who choose to have two or more children afford it because they earn well.

I also mention it because people often seem to fall over themselves on MN to proclaim how lucky they/DH is, £30k is such a good wage and they know how lucky they are etc - the reality is that most two-parent families earn a lot more than this.

There’s no judgement here on my end of any sort, for the highest deciles or the lowest. I just want everyone to be possession of the actual facts. Britain’s growing inequality is one of if not the most important problems we face and people on both sides of that divide often have no idea how the other half lives.

Waited til the oldest was due to start school, as you only 15 free hours then and not earning enough and also worked full time to ensure my career progression. Went part time when I went back with kid number two who is now finally getting 30 free hours. First time in years we actually might have some spare money despite both earning 35k each when full time too much for tax credits. No family help. I have made friends now specifically to help with after school and holidays as this is when it gets expensive again. Not going to lie it's hard.

^ Also important to note though that this is all children under 18, not just preschoolers. So many of the 10% earning £150k+ will be in their 50s with two teenagers. At a different career stage to when they started out. Just worth keeping in mind!

Working compressed hours/ catching up on work weekends and evenings so we can each take a day off with kids

Childcare vouchers

3 year age gap so the 15 free hours kicked in during Mat leave (now 30 hours if you are working!)

It’s 30 hours term time only from the term after they turn three. Some nurseries will average it out over the year.

You qualify if both parents work, each individual earning over the equivalent of 16 hours at minimum wage and less than £100k.
For me it works out great as there was 2 and a half year gap between my two and I work three days a week. So I only pay for my little ones nursery fees at the moment except in school holidays when it gets a bit more expensive.

Mrs koala - wow that's expensive. No, I wasn't confusing them, round my way it's about £5 per hour for childcare. Cheapest option for one dc is nursery (5ph), cheapest option for two dc is nanny (can get for 9ph).

I was a SAHM until my youngest started school so had my two quite close together, to minimise the the total amount of time I wasn't bringing in a salary. Then once he was at school I went back part- time. Family also helped out with (but did not totally cover) afterschool and holiday care.

Yeah, it's pricey. Nannies round here are about £15 per hour. I could never afford to go back to work even with one dc so we decided to have more. As i'm at home it makes no difference to childcare costs and we can live on DH's salary. I think if I earned enough to go back to work after one and was in a job i enjoyed I may not have had 2 and 3! Or not as close together at least.

Childcare vouchers, tax credits, 30 free hours.

Thank you all for your replies