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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not remember putting a condom in Dps glove box

52 replies

TiffyTiffTiff · 08/01/2018 18:34

DO came home from work today and after his usual 45 minute after-work-shit routine came into the kitchen, chuckled and grabbed his wallet,pulling out a condom and declaring he had found it in his glove box and 'couldn't remember whywe Put it in there'.
I laughed at his use of we and said why would I put a condom in your car? He chuckled again and left to go to his moms.

I'm left here completely confused. We have no use for condoms In the car and I definitely didn't put it there so why was It there in the first place? Why did he bring it up? Please help me make sense of it!

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 08/01/2018 19:32

I'll tell you my condom story. we were moving house. I was upstairs and as we pulled out the drawers, a few condoms fell onto the floor and I snatched them up before removers saw it and chucked it in nearest place which happened to be my laptop bag.

Anyway, at this point DH had just had a vasectomy. we had two toddlers, we moved house and I never thought about it.

About 6 months later I am going away on business and my laptop bag tipped over and condoms fell out with DH standing there. We were going through a bit of a rocky patch anyway but that set him off and he was furious and accusing me of all sorts. In his eyes I'd have been the same tbh, it looked dodgy as hell.

He eventually calmed down when I told him the story and he checked the date on the condoms which were about 3 years out of date.

I hope yours has as innocent and explanation OP.

Emmageddon · 08/01/2018 19:35

Unless it's some sort of elaborate double-bluff where he thinks YOU are the one having an affair and sneaking off in the car for some afternoon delight with a hunky delivery driver/gardener/neighbour's husband, I would also assume it's one of his mates having a laugh at his expense, hoping you will go mad at him and chuck him out.

Because to some immature men, usually ones without girlfriends, find that sort of thing HILARIOUS.

Cbaanymore123 · 08/01/2018 19:40

He mentioned it as he thought you had seen it and is trying to cover his tracks. Awkwardly you didn't notice it in the first place.

QueenArseClangers · 08/01/2018 19:48

Never mind the condoms, why on Earth does he go for 45 minute shites when you’ve (I presuming) been looking after a 1 and 2 year old all day?
Is he the sort who avoids childcare/shitwork by doing this and going out to do errands at conveniently busy times in your house?

mygorgeousmilo · 08/01/2018 20:09

Somer I’m hardly ruining someone’s marriage by saying it sounds like preemptive bollocks. Whatever happens with their marriage won’t be much to do with me. Will be more to do with the 45 minute shits, hour long baths every day and random condoms in the glove box. Oh, and then the OP’s free will.

AngelsSins · 08/01/2018 20:17

My first thought is affair. He saw it in there, remembered you mentioning you were looking there last week, panicked you may have seen it and wants to cover his tracks by being "upfront" and checking your reaction.

Having said that, I sincerely hope he does just have a bunch of 12 year old mates....

Glumglowworm · 08/01/2018 20:18

I really

Somerford · 08/01/2018 20:18

Utter bull shit Milo. You don't end a marriage over a bath or a spouse taking too long to have a shit. You do end it if you've been convinced that there is an affair going on. By people who have absolutely no knowledge of the situation other than one condom turning up in a strange place. Is that enough for you to turn the OP's head in that direction when she's confused and trying to make sense of it? If it Is, if that is really enough for you to be confident that OP's husband is sleeping with someone else, I feel sorry for anyone who takes your advice. Seriously.

Glumglowworm · 08/01/2018 20:20

Ugh sorry hit post too soon

I really don’t think he would have brought it up if he was having an affair! I think even if he was and he thought OP was onto him then he would just remove evidence and then deny everything.

Somerford · 08/01/2018 20:22

Is he the sort who avoids childcare/shitwork by doing this and going out to do errands at conveniently busy times in your house?

Clearly he Is, yes. But that is a separate issue which is competitively easy to deal with. There is fuck all here to suggest that OP's husband is having an affair other than him bringing a condom to her to laugh about because he apparently believed she put it there. That's all we have here. It isn't even nearly enough to contemplate the kinds of things that are being implied and suggested in this thread.

HighwayDragon1 · 08/01/2018 20:28

45 minute shit? I'd turn the WiFi off!

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 08/01/2018 20:33

Hang on.....

If I found a condom in the car, I'd be saying "Why the fuck is there a condom in the car DH?"

Certainly not "ha ha I don't remember us putting that there, oh well cheerio"

Something, don't know what, is definitely not right with this scenario.

Somerford · 08/01/2018 20:38

OP said she doesn't use the car. If her TH found it there and he doesn't recall putting it there, he is going to be every bit as confused as the OP is because she doesn't use the car unless he drives.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 08/01/2018 20:41

I'm entirely missing the point of this thread, but maybe you should buy him one of these to speed up the 45 minute shits.

Petalflowers · 08/01/2018 20:50

But we don’t actually know it was in the car. All we know is that the dh said it was in the car.

And I would be very suspicious if a condom appeared from nowhere.

Also, Op hasn’t actually said that dh’s mates have had a lift in his car recently.

SparklyLights · 08/01/2018 20:52

The bit I don't like is the "we".

How and why would it be "we"? How would it be a joint activity? To me that could mean two things

a) He knows exactly how it got in there and the "we" is an attempt to align himself with your genuine innocence.

b) He doesn't know how it got in there (prank) or has a good idea if it is a prank but doesn't want to say that as it looks dodgy/cover up, and the "we" is an attempt to mention it whilst showing without saying that he isn't accusing you of anything as "we" are equally in the dark about it.

Does he have any jokey/prankey mates or colleagues?

Has he shown any signs of anything to cause you suspicion?

More importantly, who is the one most "in charge" in your relationship? If he usually is, it's a bit suspicious that he would be so genial about something that to most people would look dodgy. Is it more likely he'd usually be serious about a serious matter?

If it's you, then it would fit in more that he doesn't want to upset you by pointing the finger and knows it's likely a prank.

The outside chance is that as other MN have said, it's a pre-emptive strike and interesting that they said that before you revealed you went in there for a missing lipstick recently.

Ultimately you did not put it there. That rules out you and leaves him and outside chance, a pranked.

Serialweightwatcher · 08/01/2018 20:52

Maybe he thinks you saw it whilst rooting around for your lipstick and is trying to cover his tracks - if you wouldn't have ever put it there then he probably did at some time. I'd just think it was odd because presumably you're unlikely to do it in the car Confused .. it may however been completely innocent but it is strange

Misswiggy · 08/01/2018 21:01

waxonfeckoff - that's hilarious!

My first thought would be suspicion also OP, I agree with poster who said pre-emptive strike. Also 45 min baths after work? Why? Is this something he's always done?
However only you know your dp, but the fact your asking us lot suggests you're uneasy about something? There may be a reasonable explanation but I'd just keep my eyes and ears open.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 08/01/2018 21:05

Do you actually use condoms? It sounds like you do. If that's the case I would say one of you most likely had one in a pocket/bag and just chucked it in there when you found it.

MarthaArthur · 08/01/2018 21:13

"Couldnt remember why we put it there".

"Accusing me of putting it there."
These two sentances are at odds with each other. He didnt accuse you of anything. Pre emptive action makes no sense. Probably an old condom that fell down in the glovebox at some point and got missed.

SparklyLights · 08/01/2018 21:41

Martha - Myself and DH have been known to use condoms but we've never taken them out of the house or bought any and brought them back via car. You'd remember putting them in the glovebox and also it stands to reason OP would have been present with her DH at the time as it's his car - and it's strange that neither of them remember this occasion when a condom went in the glovebox (supposedly).

It's not a common thing to do - or maybe it is, but OP wouldn't be posting if it was common for them.

Pinnacular · 08/01/2018 21:44

Very suspicious to me. This comment after you mentioned going in the glove box. The toilet / bath time. Casually mentioning it as he disappears out (is he really where he said he'd be?)

When he gets back I'd ask to see it and act very confused. It'd be all the more suspicious if it's 'disappeared' out of his wallet.

Whiterabbitears · 08/01/2018 21:59

What is it with some men and their marathon long shits? My DH easily spends 45 effing minutes taking a dump, usually at the most inconvenient times - school run, catching a sodding ferry Hmm

I know my DHs bowel habits are not relevant to this thread but I sympathise with you on this particular issue OP.

FlashTheSloth · 08/01/2018 22:06

I'd be suspicious and think it was preemptive tbh. More likely than one of his mates doing it for a laugh which often comes up on threads like this. Meanwhile back in fhe real world, that would never actually happen.

Why on earth would he think you had potentially put it there, makes zero sense.

MaidOfStars · 09/01/2018 07:31

I previously mentioned looking in the glove box for my missing lipstick and did so but saw no condom in there and that was last week
When did you look?
When did you tell him you'd been looking?
I assume you haven’t noticed any behavioural changes that mal with the above times?

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