I have recently found out that my partner has been texting another woman for the past several months, almost a year (discussing me and our relationship as well as sexting and receiving pictures of her - that kind of thing. He hasn't met her whilst he and I have been together).
I have confronted him about it and he has behaved in what I would consider to be the most reassuring way considering the circumstances. He has apologised, taken responsibility and not tried to blame his actions on anything or anyone else (despite us both having had an extremely difficult year).
I have told him, although I don't think I really meant it, that I am questioning whether we have any kind of a future together and I have asked him to give me some space to think for a couple of days. He has gone to stay with his brother whilst I stay at home in his house.
He's devastated and has begged me to forgive him. He has assured me that I'm the only woman he wants to be with and that he wants us to make this work. He's said that he will do anything that I ask of him.
My main problem is that I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant and unsure where to go from here. I do actually love him and I want things to work with him but I don't want him to think that I'm a pushover and will tolerate this sort of behaviour. A part of me really just wants to punish him. I want him to know how he has made me feel and to understand the risks of this kind of behaviour and what he will lose. I still don't really understand why he has done this.
Due to the circumstances surrounding our relationship - we were both married when we first started sleeping together and now I'm pregnant with a very unexpected baby which was the main reason my marriage ended when it did - I have nowhere else I feel that I could stay and little support from friends. I do have friends but I don't think they're particularly sympathetic to my plight for obvious reasons so I'm here to ask for some advice and support. Again.
I don't know if I should move out because, although I do think I need some space, I'm due to give birth within the next couple of weeks and I'm not sure that I'll even have the time to find somewhere suitable before baby arrives. Will I have the time or the energy to prepare a new house for a baby within the next few weeks? I'm also not sure how I would cope with parenthood on my own. It's not something I want to face alone. Single parenthood isn't something I had planned for.
Would I be better off continuing to live with him but perhaps have separate bedrooms for time time being? The house is big enough that we could avoid one another when we wanted or needed space but it is very much his house so I think I might just feel a bit awkward... I've only lived with him for a month up until now. We were hoping to sell when we were a bit more settled with baby and buy somewhere together.
I just need some advice. What would you do in my situation if you still felt as I do? I know it's difficult to trust him, especially as our relationship began as an affair, but I would like the final outcome to be to remain together.
Would I be unreasonable to ask to take the things we have already bought for baby with me to a rented property? He wouldn't be able to have baby overnight or even by himself for a while anyway as I am planning to breastfeed. I could rent somewhere with three bedrooms so that he could come and stay with us some nights and I could eventually replace everything so that he would have what he needed at his house for when he has baby by himself. Or do you think this is too final? I'd realistically have to rent somewhere for at least six months or a year which seems such a long time at the moment.
I'm sorry that this is all over the place. I hope that you can make sense of it.